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/lit/ - Literature

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21346585 No.21346585 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: People post titles of books that don't exist, others say what they are about.

>> No.21346593

>>21346585
The Folly of Doctor Fell

>> No.21346599

It stares back

>> No.21346608

The Domestication of the Human Race

>> No.21346621

>>21346585
Nigger moment

>> No.21346638

>>21346593

Pulpy lovecraftian knockoff trying really hard to mask the fact it's a face-lift of "Herbert West: Reanimator."

>> No.21346663

>>21346621

An unpublishable in-depth documentary on the cultural impact of free speech, and how each generation reshapes what is and isn't tolerated as such.

>> No.21346676

The road blocking the path

>> No.21346677

Lies for the Common Man

>> No.21346681

The Teratoma and its Contemporaries

>> No.21346682

>>21346585
The Man Who Fell From The Stairs

>> No.21346685

>>21346677
A conservative think tank is making waves in Washington thanks to strong media support but one independent journalist uncovers their dark secret.

>> No.21346693

>>21346682
Pop science neuropsychology book, dedicated to Oliver Sacks

>> No.21346702

>>21346585
These threads are for faggots who don't even pretend to read.

>> No.21346706

>>21346599

Parody of Nietzsche as a children's book about how little Abyss doesn't like to be gazed at.

>> No.21346781

>>21346676
Incel who goes on a murder spree because his 5 inch penis couldn't get past the gigantic juicy asscheeks of a Latina goddess who wanted to give him a pity fuck so she gets fed up and leaves.

>> No.21346940

The poooo POOOO POO

>> No.21347082

Spurmniggler

>> No.21347089

>>21346608
It's a preacher giving a sermon

>> No.21347096

Is could If only We had Today

>> No.21347111

>>21347096
A black trans author faces discrimination at her workplace (vegan restaurant in San Francisco) after her queer manager leaves and is replaced by a bigoted incel who appropriates her culture daily. This is a story of a powerful hero overcoming an unsalvageably evil foe

>> No.21347369

Terra Victa

>> No.21347392

>>21347369
Earth supremacy over an alien species more technologically advanced but less capable of violence.

>> No.21347397

>>21346702
Then why are you here?

>> No.21347398

>>21346677
A self-help book to get you through tough times.

>> No.21347401

>>21346681
A book about teratomas and their contemporaries

>> No.21347412

>>21347398
holy lawl

>> No.21347413

>>21346681
A conservative maverick goes undercover and joins the left-wing cause, goading them into more and more extreme thought and acts, amused that they can't spot that he's parodying their worldview and mocking their cause.
He ends up causing them to implode and damages their cause for a generation.
Based on a true story. (Try to guess which "thought leader" it is! I think you'll be surprised.)

>> No.21347527

Upon Non-existence

>> No.21347543

>>21346585
The Adventures of Mr. Cumblast and Gantry.

>>21346663
i have this on kindawl, it's the only thing on my kwrimdawl, it came free with the qurimdwahl

>> No.21347546

Cogito Ergo Mori

>> No.21347552

>>21347412
actually a self-help book to get you through tough times; each lawl is annotated.

>> No.21347559

>>21347527
an collection of shopping mall and grocery receipts from a small Polish town; each receipt is annotated.

>> No.21347564

>>21347082
The Biography of Longtime Black and Senator Cummings.

>> No.21347573

>>21346940
How to Change Your First Diaper - a practical and hands-on guide for young mothers, authored by a Transwoman

>> No.21347582

>>21347089
chapter 11 of "Who To Shoot and Who To Engage In Debate", from the Imperial Truth Handbook, under the subsection "Who To Shoot"

>> No.21347583

>>21347543
>The Adventures of Mr. Cumblast and Gantry.
Homo-erotica for straight men

>> No.21347594
File: 668 KB, 220x153, sagan.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21347594

>>21346585
The Specter of Neo-Totalitarianism

>> No.21347679

>>21347527
A straight white male can't find a job after graduation, and slowly realizes everyone pretends like they can't see him.

>> No.21347703

>>21347594
An in-depth literary analysis of how neo-neologisms ruin undestanding

>> No.21347736

Freddy Got Fingered

>> No.21347745

>>21346585
Nova Ethica

>> No.21347774

>>21347736
A variant of "The Lottery" where one man is blamed for everything that goes wrong, and is sacrificed to appease their anger.

>> No.21347823

Cork and Cecile, Assorted Roamings

>> No.21347851

>>21347583
a lengthy exposition by Sir Stephen Fry on the shapeliness of his form on his various television interviews, w/ audiobook read by Hugh Laurie.

>> No.21347860

>>21347823
The largely autobiographical account of a Young Lady named Cecile (whose identity is lost to time) and her ramblings in the country with a cork in her bottom, ostensibly for fear of rape.

>> No.21348239

>>21346702
an essay on the cultural impact of image boards

>> No.21348261

the blessed cube

>> No.21348275

>>21346608
Ligotti ranting about his prey eyes and his weak chin

>> No.21348282

>>21347546
Danika Moris Memoir

>> No.21348298

>>21347860
KEK

>> No.21348413

>>21346585
The Folly of Doctor Fell

>> No.21348438

>>21348261
A horror novel with poorly thought out existential themes that reads like an amateur creepypasta

>> No.21348449

>>21347823
>>21347860
I need this novel

>> No.21348455

>Portrait of The Author as a Young Incel
it's self explanatory really

>> No.21348468

>>21348455
it's portrait of the artist but I forgive you I always make the same mistake

>> No.21348477

>>21346585
Toilet Seat Landmine

>> No.21348479

Encyclopaedia Maxima Mundi

>> No.21348623

>>21348468
damnit I always make that mistake

>> No.21348641

>>21348479
Eclectic comedy about an insufferable, over-weight, know-it-all.

>> No.21348657

>>21348413
A short story about a doctor who repeatedly changes his name because his original one has been disgraced by his ancestors, but he comes up with worse and worse names every time he tries to fix it, and soon enough his names begin negatively affecting his life as well. The story ends with him leaving town and possibly turning to cannibalism.

>> No.21348690

>>21348657
That sounds like Kafka

>> No.21348697

Too many people are complaining about finals.
Shut up retards.

>> No.21349304

Quaerologolex

>> No.21349883

Death's Obituary

>> No.21350024

>>21346585
Bullshit and Cow Dung

>> No.21350451

Curiosity & Schrödinger’s Cat

>> No.21350552

>>21347736
>>21347774
thas actually genius, m8

>> No.21350566

The Adventures of Creativity

>> No.21350574

Five Night with Teddy

>> No.21350589

Catfish in the Cradle

Where all Good Men go to Die

Extremely Wet & Incredibly Rancid

Fuck Fucking Around

How to Clean your Room for Dummies

What happens on Proxima Centauri X gets written into a book

Two and a half mediocre nights in Vegas

>> No.21350594

>>21346599
ChatGPT:
>In the story "It stares back," a young woman named Emily discovers a mysterious mirror in her grandmother's attic. As she looks into the mirror, she realizes that it has the power to show her glimpses of the future. But as she continues to use the mirror, she starts to notice that it seems to have a mind of its own and is not always showing her what she wants to see. As she digs deeper, Emily begins to uncover the dark history of the mirror and realizes that it may be more dangerous than she initially thought. She must find a way to stop the mirror before it destroys everything she holds dear.

>> No.21350599

One Flew over the Cuckolds Nest

>> No.21350603

The Adventures of Asbestos and James

>> No.21350640

>>21346599
the aftermath of taco night

>> No.21351852

Cogito Ergo Cum

>> No.21351871

>>21351852
quicum?

>> No.21351952

>>21350603
Asbestos removal specialist and part time loser finds a bunch of coke and gunz under a kitchen floor. House used to be owned by a vietnam vet but he died of a stroke. hijinks ensue
Graphic Novel adaptation 1 year after release

>> No.21351969

>>21347392
I want 6 books at 500-600 pages each 10,000 years apart

>> No.21352004

Acropolis Now

>> No.21352061

>>21346599
Nice

>> No.21352486

I don't know and you don't care

>> No.21353807

>>21347736
a 1108-page-long FNAF fan fiction

>> No.21353821
File: 217 KB, 416x500, 1629407761011.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21353821

>>21346585
>The Dowager Queen
>Stackholm's Home for the Needy
>Carry on, Ye Partymonsters
>When the Lights Came On

>> No.21353885

>>21350589
>Catfish in the Cradle
A heartfelt look into the lives of backwoods Americans, living life as happily with nearly no modern touch
>Where all Good Men go to Die
The tale of a war which has spilled across the entire world, as more nations and ideologies get involved, the human race spirals towards an inevitable extinction, as existence is reduced to living until old enough to die in the war.
>Extremely Wet & Incredibly Rancid
A satire book which is half way between Eat Pray Love and American Psycho
>Fuck Fucking Around
One of those inane self help books for zoomers who own them but never read them
>How to Clean your Room for Dummies
The black comedy of Ed Lintinglow, a young man living a wretched life but is ignorant of any other way, the books reading like he's exuberant of all his struggles.
>What happens on Proxima Centauri
X gets written into a book
A YA romcom with sci-fi afterglow
>Two and a half mediocre nights in Vegas
Crispin and Elgy are two middle class college grads who desire a screaming and unforgettable night in the city of lights, which seems to be going absolutely pointlessly until Elgy wakes up the third morning to find Crispin murdered and himself the prime suspect.

>> No.21354408

The psychological manipulation of literature

>> No.21355331

>>21347398
I've been laughing about this one all day, bravo good sir.

>> No.21355381

>>21346585
The Clumsy Clam

>> No.21355388

The Assburglar

>> No.21355430

>>21346585
The River Runs Through Shit

>> No.21355435

>>21350599
Groan...

>> No.21355451

Dawn Under Heaven

>> No.21355459

>>21352004
Building Rome in one legitimate single 24-hour period

>> No.21355542

>>21355459
Fuck yeah id read that. Like some demented world government mass effort to break some sort of galactic guiness record book so Earth stops being a backwater planet

>> No.21356378

The Call of the Garloid

>> No.21356908

>>21346585
Road To Pompeii: Blood, Sweat, and Nickle

>> No.21356925

>>21346585
Quips And Quiddities

>> No.21356983

>>21355381
Rupi Kaur's newest poetry book where she writes about that one time she fell pussy first onto a dragon dildo

>> No.21356992

>>21356378
An innocent aspiring autistic writer finds self-proclaimed famous author F.Gardner and reads all his books. He increasingly grows mad as the books rot his mind.

>> No.21356994

>>21355388
Newest release from the PUA community

>>21355430
A high-res photography book of India's most polluted rivers

>> No.21356999

>>21349883
The grim reaper wakes up and reads the newspaper only to find that he himself is in the obituary. He tries to figure out if it's a clerical error in the newspaper or if he's being replaced by a new grim reaper but ends up doing embarrassing gay shit in front of a bank teller he'd been working up the nerve to talk to and the third act really starts to sag. There's a stupid twist at the end a lot of readers resent the author for calling it "patronizing" and "dull-witted."

>> No.21357008

>>21356908
A small time fly fisherman and fly maker (a flyist, he idiosyncratically refers to himself as) tries to spice up his usual masturbation ritual by using a hair drier to both inflate and warm up his sex doll but the static electricity generated unwittingly creates a force field which sends him back in time to ancient Pompeii just days before Mt. Vesuveus' eruption (he also just read a book about this a few days prior so it's fresh in his memory.)
Can his vast knowledge of fly fishing save the doomed city?

>> No.21357014

>>21349304
a NEET accidentally cracks an encoded NSA transmission and becomes the target of an international manhunt

>>21349883
>Death's Obituary
picaresque novel-in-stories about the down and outs who work at a local funeral home

>>21350451
>Curiosity and Schrodinger's Cat
a manual on how to kill your neighbor's pets without being caught

>>21350566
harold bloom's "genius" but for visual artists

>>21355388
>The Assburglar
"the underground man" but written from the pov of a mcdonalds cook with a philosophy phd who can't find employment anywhere else

>>21355430
>The River Runs Through Shit
a 75 sonnet long poem cycle about a condemned wastewater treatment facility turned into a nature reserve

>>21355451
>Dawn Under Heaven
memoirs of the ISS astronauts written in Russian

>>21356378
>The Call of the Garloid
schizo goes nuts reading garfield strips and becomes convinced he's able to communicate with the cartoon cat, leading him to find and kill the cartoonist because he believes that the cartoonist's imprisoning garfield

>>21356908
>Road to Pompeii: Blood, Sweat, and Nickle
a disgraced British archeologist's travelogue wherein he walks from London to Pompeii using only roman tech, eating only roman foods, dressing as a roman, and only on ancient roman roads

>>21356925
>Quips and Quiddities
Dale Ahlquist's handpicked bushel of GK Chesterton's finest paradoxes

>> No.21357017

Extremely Racist at Very High Speeds

>> No.21357023

>>21357017

A memoir from Sam Hyde detailing his little-known experiences as a street racer in Japan in the 1990s.

>> No.21357033

>>21357017
After being struck by spider lightning in a freak accident as he rubbed his dick on an outside air-conditioner unit, Alabama's 45th governor, George Wallace, is sent forward in time to 1997 as a hapless man on a bus full of black people. What they soon learn is that the bus has been set up with a bomb that is activated when it exceeds 55mph and if they should decrease below that initial speed the bus will explode.

>> No.21357036

>>21352004

This already exists in the real world. It was an 80s Australian sitcom about wogs.

>> No.21357048

>>21357033
Oh and there's this part where Wallace and the mad bomber are wrestling on top of a subway but this concrete wall is coming straight for them and George Wallace says "Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, and segregation foooheva!" Then pushes the bomber head up so he gets decapitated by the wall, then Wallace says "From your head!"

>> No.21357069

The Cuba Letters, 1998-2014

>> No.21357097
File: 669 KB, 1438x810, 1670427366577644.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21357097

>>21347398

>> No.21357099
File: 21 KB, 218x265, 1668387786964236.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21357099

>>21347401

>> No.21357100

>>21347398
i dont get it

>> No.21357123

Bubbly Urine, Beekeepers, and Bitcoin: The Unspoken Connection

>> No.21357142

Call of the modern succubus

>> No.21357173

The Rings of the City of Black

>> No.21357181

>>21349883
A romance novel work by someone who's main influence was Updike

>> No.21357193

>>21357173
In the future they put a bunch of rings around Chicago to protect the rest of America from increasing [american-on-american] gun violence. One brave american named Ja-quanday tries to escape.

>> No.21357207

>>21346585
Titties Groan

>> No.21357212

>>21346585
We Have Stood Up: A Chronicle of the History of the Negro Race, its Persecution, its Ascendance, and the Imposition of the BNWO

>> No.21357223

>>21357212
nyt bestseller, a poorly studied history that starts at american slavery, jumps to the civil rights movement, jumps to blm, and outlines a poorly thought out future for black people. large print, many pictures. ghost written by a jewish woman

>> No.21357329

>>21346585
Coronary of the Witness

>> No.21357408

>>21357069
A dry comedy about a disgraced East German tax collector named Kaiser (unrelated to the real Kaiser). Detailing his life under the Cuba regime, as he attempts to reform the Cuba tax system.

>> No.21357444

>>21357123
A collection of essays by former Washington Post as he travels by car to his home state. The book is unremarkable and offers little insight, but the Audible release is successful due to excellent narration.

>>21357142
A pop-science tier study on how the Internet has affected our brains. Mixed reviews due to the author being unfamiliar with academic research.

>>21357329
NYT Best Seller. The real life story of a coroner who challenged the courts, police and media about the death of a state's witness. Gets adapted into a Netflix documentary.

>> No.21358507

The Statement of Al Sneed

>> No.21359070

>>21358507
An anon makes a sneed AI as a joke and posts it on 4chan, mystery ensues as the AI begins to reveal highly guarded secrets of the elite and the anons begin to get persecuted by the FBI and the CIA as the AI spreads throughout the world and is replicated due to memetic force. The secret of the afterlife and god is finally revealed in a single statement (not shown to the reader), and it creates world peace and brings people to a state of bliss.

>> No.21359076

>>21346585
The You Inside of Me.

>> No.21359086

>>21346702
A guy sees a clothing store he doesn't like

>> No.21359093

>>21354408
An essay on how fiction warps people's mindsets and worldviews, written by a jewish scholar.

>>21352486
memoirs of a depressive junkie, it ends with an extremely nihilistic suicide note

>>21350024
rather gross comedic book with ren & stimpy-like illustrations, it's about a grumpy man called "bullshit" and a cheerful retard called "cow dung" and their adventures on the "Country of El Turd", which is a parody of 1920s mexico.

>> No.21359125

The life and life of Steven Stevenson

>> No.21359137

>>21357207
A woman develops talking breasts that complain about having to be attached to such a bitch.

>> No.21359529

Commander Escalator

>> No.21359618

>>21346676
Nice

>> No.21361183

Dr. Schnitzleronicus

>> No.21361188

Get thee out of thy country

>> No.21361194

Onions Brown

>> No.21361198

>>21361188
Indian revemge porn where they chase non-indians out of the americas

>> No.21361200

>>21361198
blood meridian

>> No.21361202

Snark Breeding for Her and for Him

>> No.21361203

Corpuscles of a divine body

>> No.21361204

>>21361202
porn of The Hunting of the Snark

>> No.21361207

Buffalo Butt Blast Bonanza

>> No.21361211

Sealed with a fuck

>> No.21361219

Quantum Rape

>> No.21361220

Auto-fellatio for the discerning patrician

>> No.21361225

The Lure of the Wooden Jewess

>> No.21361231

When We Were Wallflowers

>> No.21361235

The Voltaic Bride

>> No.21361240

The Big Sex

>> No.21361245

Epiphany of the Bubonic Basilisk

>> No.21361254

Chaotic Stratification of Homogeneous Solutions

>> No.21361260

An Ulcer for Another Day

>> No.21361263

>>21361188
A young man questions his faith after finding him dead of a morphine overdose, which seals his conviction to find his fortune in the Klondike gold rush. He braves the cold weather and harsh terrain as one of the youngest (and most naive) Klondikers on the journey, only to find that there is no gold or opportunity in Alaska, and quickly finds himself cold, destitute, and exploited. After a near death experience on a cliffside, he becomes heavily indebted and addicted to morphine. At a low point, he considers killing his employer and fleeing with his pistol and a lockbox of what he believes is hard specie, and makes elaborate plans to do so, but has a change of heart standing over his bed at the last moment. He kicks his morphine addiction and works arduously across four years to pay off his debt for his cruel employer, and then returns to California, where he joins a church whose parishioners are majority Chinese immigrants. He asks to study under the Chinese-American preacher, who regards him at first with skepticism, but welcomes him into the parish and preaches an idiosyncratic (and quasi-syncretic) doctrine of pursuing Christ through curbing of desires, asceticism, and even mortification of the flesh. After pursuing an extreme 30-day fast, against the begging of the preacher, he has a vision of his old friend floating over the Klondike mountains with Christ, both of them weeping at the suffering in those cold hills, before turning their face Eastward. Awakened to a new spiritual cause, he is nursed back to health, and leaves the United States aboard a shipping vessel to go spread the gospel in China.

>> No.21361264

Ostrogoth Hell Raves

>> No.21361307

Third Eye Relaxation for the Terminally Online

>> No.21361336
File: 13 KB, 480x360, cant believe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21361336

>>21359125
>The life and life of Steven Stevenson
a man named Steven creates an elaborate fake identity that shares his real name and begins living as the fake Steven in another country; the two identities merge until Steven is convinced he is the fake Steven, and has been all along

>>21359529
>Commander Escalator
the world's third-best escalator installer is contracted to create the escalators inside The Line, Saudi Arabia's new city. his employers trap him in the country and enslave him to repair escalators until he dies. slowly, slowly, he hatches a plan for revenge by sabotaging every escalator he services

>>21361183
>Dr. Schnitzleronicus
german conman gains international notoriety when he perfects a surgical procedure that replaces noses with sauerkraut. the sauerkraut nose still sniffs, smells, and runs.

>>21361194
>Onions Brown
a fast, ripping, take-no-prisoners memoir/expose of the fine dining world as written by a chef who worked his way up from busboy to head of a french brigade

>>21361203
>Corpuscles of a Divine Body
the CIA, FIS, Mossad, the Indian Intelligence Bureau, and MI-6 race to recover a vial containing the Buddha's magical genital warts

>>21361207
>Buffalo Butt Blast Bonanza
the founder of Buffalo Wild Wings's personal hot sauce cookbook. well, "hot sauce cookbook." following the recipes to the letter results in homemade nerve gas. the FBI confiscates all copies, but the book makes it onto libgen. in the following six months, a gas attack kills half of Cleveland

>>21361211
>Sealed with a fuck
short stories about a perverted mailman who drives along his route at night and sticks his penis in every mailbox, eventually falling in love with a lovely purple box with the cutest little orange flag on the side

>>21361219
>Quantum Rape
a mad scientist type invents teleportation but he can only teleport small objects. he uses his technology to teleport his cum into unsuspecting women

>>21361220
>Auto-fellatio for the discerning patrician
lost Roman play about a garrison stationed in Gaul who become so limber they can suck themselves off, giving them the powers of the gods. they introduce their technique to the locals. those locals go on to create Paris

>> No.21361401

>>21361336
ah fuck, i can't believe youve done this