/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2716225]

>Where you're from
>Local words, phrases or speech patterns that annoy you
>Yes, we all have aspergers

I'm from the east coast of Scotland:

People routinely say 'ken' rather than 'know'
>'Day yah ken whur tha neares' libary is?'

Like all uneducated Scots, people around here tend to drop the letter 't' if it isn't at the beginning of a word, or at the end of an expletive.
>'Wha're you talkin' abou'? Wyndham-Lewis was significan'ly mare innova'ive than Ezra Pound!'

Also, 'cunt' is synonymous with 'one' (also Scottish-wide).
>'Anycunt interested in readin' ma new quatrain?'

Finally, even 'sophisticated' Scots who're "pyoor posh" have a propensity to mispronounce 'poem' as 'po-yum'. It makes my skin crawl.
>'Aye, av memorised every po-yum John Milton every wrote.'

[Anonymous No.2716237]

The Sacramento Valley of California; people here have the most unremarkable, plain patterns of speech I have ever heard. The only thing that pisses me off (though I do it myself) is the prolific usage of "dude" or "man" when people talk.

>"Dude, everybody knows McCarthy's 'Blood Meridian' was heavily influenced by Gnostic myth and philosophy; it's common knowledge, dude. Did you really not know that, man?

[Anonymous No.2716245]

>Australia
>Not only culturally accepted, but encouraged misuse of grammar and language

[Anonymous No.2716249]

>>2716225
>disliking the glorious glottal stop
>thinking you can "mispronounce" something

[Anonymous No.2716266]

>High school in northern suburban New Jersey
>(actual words spoken aloud)-"Lol yeah nigga dats the shit I don't like YOLO nigga YOLO!"

[Anonymous No.2716273]

>>2716266
My friends and I say "YOLO" as a joke; often we will shout it while doing something mundane or stupid. For example, we were camping this last weekend and a friend of mine walked to the nearby lake with a water purifier, saying, "AY NIGGA, I'MMA GO GET SOME WATER AND KILL MICROBES AND SHIT. YOLO." Shit was hilarious.

[Anonymous No.2716291]

> not reveling in the beauty of languages, accents, dialects and cultural speech
> Preferring a boring ass shit language like english

[Anonymous No.2716292]

OP, ken is actually a very ancient Germanic word, used in old english and old norse and preserved in Scots. I don't see why you'd hate it.

[Anonymous No.2716296]

>>2716292

Also, really, after reading your whole post, you're really uneducated in linguistics. Do you seriously think dialectical variations form from a lack of education or intelligence? You're what ruins diversity in language.

[Anonymous No.2716303]

Enjoy destroying your culture because you were brainwashed to somehow think it is inherently unintelligent by the media, OP.

[Anonymous No.2716327]

>>2716296

No, these idiots who use a handful of disgusting-sounding words and phrases repeatedly are responsible for the death of diversity in language. Suppose there was some omniscient 'linguistic scorekeeper' with a penchant for lexical variation; he'd be deeply disgusted by the fact that the people who employ the words above scarcely introduce a single new word into their vocabulary after the age of fourteen.

I'll feel guilty about wishing for the eradication of half-a-dozen charmless Teutonic bastardisations when they stop supposing that anyone who has read a book is a 'poof'. I do more for language than those vulgar rats ever do, and you know it - whatever your first year linguistics tutor might've said.

[Anonymous No.2716334]

From Australia.

Speak normal English without colloquialism or "flavour".

[Anonymous No.2716347]

>>2716327

lol shut up nigga.

[Anonymous No.2716348]

>>2716327

I could seriously reply to this, but I'm not going to. You're a fucking poof.

[Anonymous No.2716354]

>>2716348

Great, I've won the argument.

[Anonymous No.2716355]

I'm from Ohio.
When people want you to repeat something instead of saying "what?' they say "please?"

[Anonymous No.2716364]

>>2716327

>Teutonic bastardisations

Lol bro the whole language is Germanic.

Besides, you only think it sounds disgusting because you've been brainwashed to think so (just as you've been brainwashed to think that the style you're writing in is somehow linguistically better). I never mentioned lexical variety, I mentioned cultural diversity. Your mindset kills it.

[Anonymous No.2716373]

I live on Long Island. New York.
>my daughtuh needs to know wheah the cah is pahked

Also, I've pretty much never heard anyone say "You're welcome". It's always:
>No problem

[Anonymous No.2716375]

>>2716327

>get told that he has been brainwashed by media to talk a certain way instead of the way of his own culture
>replies by imitating a style of writing

[Anonymous No.2716386]

West coast of Scotland

>Text instead of texted
E.g.
>i text her last night/he text me earlier
I wouldn't say this is a scottish problem, but I've never encountered a wide enough array of non-scottish people who have trouble with it

>Using Fucken instead of Fucking
Fuckin I can stand, but I don't even get why they switch the "I" with an "E".

Miscellaneously I just hate when people type phonetically
>lyk dis its pure fucken annoyin

Beyond that there's not much else specifically, just when people have really loud, or really shrill voices, with awful unintelligible accents.
Mild hyperacusis and the East End of Glasgow just do not mix.

[Anonymous No.2716400]

San Antonio, Texas

>y'all
>ain't
>nucular (nuclear)

These don't bother me too much. I am enraged when people use 'plus', 'minus', and 'times' as verbs rather than 'add', 'subtract', and 'multiply': "Plus those and it equals four" or "Minus two from twelve" or "Times it by three". Please excuse my punctuation.

>There's some cars over there.
>There is plural

God damn it.

Usually I'm immune to poor English since my parents are Korean immigrants.

[Anonymous No.2716403]

>kansas
>around 25% of the older generation has a midwestern accent and uses the slang- "da'gum" "shee-it", etc
>about 10% of the younger generation does this as well, about half of them actually pretend to be "southern". These people are likely to call black people "niggers" or "blackies" as if it was completely acceptable

[Anonymous No.2716406]

Dublin

Mixing up verbs and tenses.

>I done it

[Anonymous No.2716409]

>>2716237
Despite being english, Im pretty sure I am guilty of this, its like ("like" is another trope) I cannot express my mood without it.

[Anonymous No.2716413]

I'm from a community where English-Spanish bilingualism common. When I first moved here as a kid it bugged me how people talked, but now I've gotten used to it and I like it.

People will say "for to" instead of just "to" (or, "in order to"). "For if" and "like if" also come up occasionally. "That" is also used kind of interestingly (see below).
>We learn to read for to read books.
>Go ask her for if we can visit the library.
>He was talking like if he he wanted to go with us.
>You want that I give you a library card? ((I'm actually not sure whether this is proper English or not...))

"He" and "she" also get mixed up constantly, people on here who know Spanish (and I assume any other romance language, and maybe other languages with similar verb conjugation) know this feel. "This" and "these" are pretty much interchangeable ("I like this books"), and double negatives are rampant ("I read Finnegans Wake but I didn't understand nothing."), you "have" years ("I have 3 years at this university"). "Look at" usually just becomes "look" ("Look the books"). I could give a whole bunch more examples but I doubt anyone's interested.

[Anonymous No.2716414]

Cunt is apparently a good deal less harsh of a word in British English.
You almost never hear American say cunt unless they're being especially vulgar.

[Anonymous No.2716420]

>>2716414

No - it's still the most offensive word in British English. You never hear it on the television - any show that did would be cunted for good.

[Anonymous No.2716422]

>>2716414

It's the same here in Ireland. Cunt is just thrown out in casual conversation as a multi-purpose moniker.

[Anonymous No.2716423]

>>2716414

Despite that it's the only word that's consistently censored after the watershed on TV.

[Anonymous No.2716427]

>>2716414

Fun fact - apparently the BBFC hears the word "cunt" in a film even once, it instantly becomes an 18.

[Anonymous No.2716429]

>>2716420
That may be so, but it doesn't even get thrown around in casual speech in America.

[Anonymous No.2716431]

I've always thought that Eastenders would be a lot more watchable if they spoke the way real eastenders do:

>awright arfur you owd cant ow's t fackin goin'? Seen ver facking wevver aht vere? It's facking canting it dahn innit. Gordon Bennet is vat a facking sootie in ver caff?

[Anonymous No.2716440]

>>2716400
>There's some cars over there.
>There is plural

Haha, oh man I am very guilty of this one. I take a sort of bizarre delight in casually abusing plurals, actually. I am >>2716413

As a kid my parents were grammar nazis with me, so when we moved to a place where all the rules were thrown on their heads I think I went a little crazy, knowing what I could get away with saying without sounding uneducated to the average person.

[Anonymous No.2716881]

>>2716225

"Ken" is an Old English word from the Germanic. The modern German literally means the same thing:

"Ich kenne dich" means "I know you."

[Standard Toaster !TOASTIsW76 No.2716904]

In central Florida, most people speak broken English at best now.
Thanks, Cuba.

[Anonymous No.2716967]

>Northeast Ohio

>Radical range of people, ranging from urban 'gangsta' wannabe culture, uneducated redneck culture, and educated, polite midwestern culture

>Using 'a minute' to denote a long period of time i.e. Yeah, I be doin dat shit yo, but it's been a minute

>Measuring distance in units of time e.g. How far is the mall from here? Answer: About 15 minutes

>"It is what it is."

[Anonymous No.2716982]

Grew up in East LA

"Ey foo u bangs ese" - I fucking wish this was just /sp/ taking the piss but bangers actually talk like.
All the youngins also use foo for everything "Nah foo" "Forreal foo" "Quit being a bitch foo".
Jesus Christ these fucking Mexicans.

[Anonymous No.2716986]

I live in the southeast U.S. Pretty much everything about the various negra dialects is annoying as fuck. Yeah, I know it follows its own system-internal rules; yeah, I know that historical/social aspects of those dialects can be an interesting academic study. But Jesus Christ, do I have to fucking listen to that abomination every time I go to the fucking gas station or supermarket? For one thing (and i've not looked this up, this is just from what i've personally heard), they don't seem to use 's (apostrophe-ess), neither as a contraction of 'is' nor as a possessive marker -- and this also extends to do/does, both of which they just produce as 'do'. so you hear e.g.
>do jemal car got rims

Although I don't have that dialect in my own speech, I actually love most of the (white) southern that I hear here. With southerners who are middle class & up, their speech is grammatically correct, meaning that if you transcribed it then it just looks like normal English; the southern is more a phonetic coloring, and some peculiar phrasings that nonetheless follow the rules of standard English.

[Anonymous No.2717046]

>>2716986
If you don't like it why don't you move to canada you queer

[Anonymous No.2717052]

>>2716986
>With southerners who are middle class & up, their speech is grammatically correct
Sounds like you don't know grammar.

[Anonymous No.2717055]

>>2716373
You've heard a NewYorker say thank you?
Isn't that just an urban legend?

>Long-guy-land
>Stat-nen island

[Anonymous No.2717059]

>>2717052
>know grammar

[Anonymous No.2717077]

>>2717046
this has to be the most bizarre retort i've ever read

>>2717052
>uses ungrammatical sentence to suggest that someone else has bad grammar
how many more months of summer?

[Anonymous No.2717087]

>>2717077
>claims to know grammar
>calls grammatically correct sentence "ungrammatical"

[Anonymous No.2717096]

>>2717087
>>2717077
>>2717059
>>2717055
>>2717052
>>2717046
>>2716986
>>2716982
>>2716967
>>2716904
>>2716881
>>2716440
>>2716431
>>2716429
>>2716427
>>2716423
>>2716420
>>2716414
>>2716413
>>2716409
>>2716406
>>2716403
>>2716400
>>2716386
>>2716375
>>2716373
>>2716364
>>2716355
>>2716354
>>2716348
>>2716347
>>2716334
>>2716327
>>2716303
>>2716296
>>2716292
>>2716291
>>2716273
>>2716266
>>2716249
>>2716245
>>2716237
>>2716225
>prescriptivism: not even once

[Anonymous No.2717112]

but i love alternative pronunciations and odd phrases

[Anonymous No.2717118]

>>2717096
I don't see how pushing half a tomato into some swiss cheese is going to kill anyone.