/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3196126]

[Anonymous No.3196132]

>>3196126
Link or it doesn't exist.

[Anonymous No.3196139]

>>3196132

http://iwl.me/

[Anonymous No.3196169]

no one will believe me... hey man, first shot

http://iwl.me/s/d7939cdb

[Anonymous No.3196176]

>>3196169
>You write like DFW

Me too. Here's what I submitted:

>Chucklefuck. fuck-a-doodle-doo. dayfuck and nightfuck; A fuck to-day is a fuck fucked and a fuck-you-very much.

[Anonymous No.3196191]

>Put lyics of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqIsc8ooXug into box
>I write like James Joyce

[Anonymous No.3196193]

I WRITE LIKE STEPHEN KING.
It's not the worst, I guess.

[Anonymous No.3196197]

Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics are apparently written by Dan Brown

[Anonymous No.3196198]

>>3196169
I pasted in a few paragraphs of nietzsche and got DFW too.

This thing is terrible.

[Anonymous No.3196199]

[Anonymous No.3196200]

http://iwl.me/b/24f9d4c2
>In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. 'Whenever you feel like criticising anyone,' he told me, 'just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.' He didn't say any more, but we've always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that.

[Anonymous No.3196201]

>>3196193

What did you posted?

[Anonymous No.3196207]

http://iwl.me/b/147eabd8
>H.P. Lovecraft

I can accept this.

[Anonymous No.3196209]

>>3196199
Oh god what did that get?

[Anonymous No.3196210]

Stephen King

[Anonymous No.3196218]

>>3196201

John was in bad shape. Moving, walking was so painful and exhausting, he was impressed with himself that he even made it to the street. He was so happy to stumble into the oncoming headlights, it hardly mattered if the driver hit him. It’s not like they could do any worse damage, anyway.

But they didn’t hit him. It screeched to a halt and the doors popped open, two people springing out and rushing towards him. They caught him as he fell. John was grateful for that. He couldn’t catch himself if he tried. But oh, did it hurt, it hurt so much. He couldn’t help crying out.

[Anonymous No.3196223]

>>3196209

http://iwl.me/b/31398c21
Never heard of him though

[Anonymous No.3196236]

Posted the Waste Land - Edgar Allen Poe?

Apparently if you write a poem, you write like Poe.

This thing sucks.

[Anonymous No.3196245]

>>3196236
I put a poem from my teens and I got Neil Gaiman.

[Anonymous No.3196250]

KILL ME NOW

[Anonymous No.3196251]

>>3196236

I know it sucks, I posted it because I want other people to try it out and found out by themselves.

[Anonymous No.3196260]

>>3196250

Hahaha oh my god I'm so sorry for you bro

[Anonymous No.3196266]

David Foster Wallace

Is this actually true?

[VurtKonnegut No.3196267]

[Anonymous No.3196270]

>>3196266

Yes. I hear Random House wants to publish you really bad.

[Anonymous No.3196276]

I write like: George Orwell

What I wrote:
I Slaughter Thousands Of Niggers With Grenade Launchers And Bazookas.

[Anonymous No.3196282]

>>3196266
no

fucking idjit

[Anonymous No.3196286]

[Anonymous No.3196306]

I think I nailed it with 'nice abs Jacob'. I was hoping to get somebody else though

[Anonymous No.3196313]

>>3196306
haha well done sir, well done.

[Anonymous No.3196323]

Professor Elemental writes like PG Woodhouse in case anybody wanted to know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iRTB-FTMdk&feature=endscreen

[Anonymous No.3196325]

>>3196306
I boiled down the essence of Twilight to about 10 words, and got Stephenie Meyer lol

http://iwl.me/s/85a62134

[Anonymous No.3196326]

Seems i write like P. G. Wodehouse.
This should be interesting.

[Anonymous No.3196330]

>mfw I try 3 papers and they all get HP Lovecraft
jesus what

[Anonymous No.3196334]

Because when you think paramore you think king

[Anonymous No.3196336]

attitudethoughtofind hedges
-oh look
-the sailor is in town
O THE TRUE SAILOR I EVER DID KNOW SOUNDINGBLACK THE RANCHHANDS
-but my dear where is his hat
The hat rolled quickly off the tumbletown melon and roundly grumbled for how the wind
-cretin not all sailor's need hats
her eternal rightness piercing me i had to concede victorydefeat for the night being

[Anonymous No.3196346]

>''shut your mouth you damn dirty whore''
>got J. D. Salinger

Dint think i'd nail him down with a single line.

[Anonymous No.3196357]

>mfw people try to tell me /lit/ isn't 5% regular posters and 95% tourists from pleb boards
The fact that this thread pops up every 3 or 4 days is evidence

[Anonymous No.3196360]

This is a selection from a memo I wrote

[Anonymous No.3196363]

>>3196360
not that difficult

[Anonymous No.3196365]

[Anonymous No.3196366]

[Anonymous No.3196369]

>>3196357
We got bored now and then.
If its not recommendations or talks about philosophy, its talk about some non literature discussion.

[Anonymous No.3196386]

>>3196346
>>''shut your mouth you damn dirty whore''
>>got J. D. Salinger
>Dint think i'd nail him down with a single line

[Anonymous No.3196396]

>>3196369
And this is entertainment?
This is what the /lit/erati do to blow off steam when the discussion gets too heavy to handle?
Nope, not buying it

[Anonymous No.3196405]

>>3196396

but why do you care that much though

it's not like we're the worst board
its not like we're /tv/ or /mu/

[Anonymous No.3196406]

>>3196405
/tv/ and /mu/ are miles better than /v/

[Anonymous No.3196410]

>>3196406

they're still pretty bad

[Anonymous No.3196412]

>>3196410
can't argue with that

[Anonymous No.3196413]

http://iwl.me/s/8ccf5154

This makes me happy.

[Anonymous No.3196418]

>>3196357
there's a lot of regulars, the thing is they don't make that many threads. i make good threads as often as i can and i recommend other people do the same.

[Anonymous No.3196422]

Ian Fleming

Fuck yeah, we Bond now.

[Anonymous No.3196442]

>>3196422

Oh god tell me what you posted.

[Anonymous No.3196448]

>write something about my ass hair.,
>Your Badge: J. D. Salinger

[Rei !p8eYCadcMo No.3196459]

>>3196191
Ha.

[Anonymous No.3196476]

I keep getting Bram Stoker as my style.
Not sure if it's a compliment or an insult.

[Anonymous No.3196515]

I feel honoured.

[Anonymous No.3196516]

anyone who takes that site at all seriously is a confirmed high schooler

in any case OP's picture is funny

[Anonymous No.3196533]

>>3196516
it's not it's kind of like ebaums world circa 2004...

[Anonymous No.3196538]

I know this site is a load a bullshit, but it feels nice. Chuck is a good writer.

[Anonymous No.3196542]

>put lyrics of a metal band
>get HP Lovecraft

[Anonymous No.3196549]

>>3196538
>I know this site is a load of bullshit
>but it feels nice

with this kind of logic it's no surprise that you think
>Chuck is a good writer

[Anonymous No.3196557]

>write normally
>non stop david foster wallace

>write like a homosexual
>non stop james joyce

[Anonymous No.3196568]

>>3196276
>http://iwl.me/
Yes!

[Anonymous No.3196578]

>>3196549
It's like... let's say you ask someone if your hair looks like shit that day. You know that they're going to tell you "oh yeah, it looks fine, you look great" just to be nice, because that's the kind of person they are and they don't want to offend you. And even though they told you bullshit, it still feels nice to have someone tell you that you look great today.

Also, what's so bad about Palahniuk?

[Anonymous No.3196581]

Look what I did.

[Anonymous No.3196582]

If you copy Poe, you write like Charles Dickens...

[Anonymous No.3196612]

Got Jonathan Swift. Funny how I never had the opportunity of reading anything by him.

[Anonymous No.3196642]

I can agree with this.

[Anonymous No.3196650]

http://iwl.me/s/a85d5606

Apparently I write like H.G. Wells.

[Anonymous No.3196663]

hmm

[Anonymous No.3196669]

>>3196663
>I know that feel

[Anonymous No.3196798]

>angrily ingesting copious quantities of psychedelic substances

[Anonymous No.3196806]

[Anonymous No.3196829]

[Anonymous No.3196836]

>>3196829
The shame...the shame

[Anonymous No.3196891]

I got Arthur Conan Doyle with one of my poems.... is this a good thing?

[Anonymous No.3196915]

>copy and paste some high school essay on my grievances with our political system
>trying to write like Chomsky, site him at one point in the essay
apparently I write like H.P. Lovecraft

[Anonymous No.3196931]

>>3196326

i jelly

but this website is pretty shitty to be honest

[Anonymous No.3196936]

this site should have a response that says "you write like a high school try-hard"

that way everyone in this thread could hear some truth

[Anonymous No.3196944]

Yeah this website is confirmed for shit.


Wololo

HERE is a much better and more fun site:

http://www.hackerfactor.com/GenderGuesser.php#Analyze

I posted the entirety of Kafka's Metamorphosis and it determined:
Genre: Formal
Female = 30377
Male = 27392
Difference = -2985; 47.41%
Verdict: Weak FEMALE

Weak emphasis could indicate European.
i love this

[Anonymous No.3196945]

I wrote:
>shake dat ass watch yourself shake dat ass and show me what you working with
Got Mark Twain

[Anonymous No.3196961]

>I had a pony
>O mah pony
>T'had a big dickk
>way too big for a pony
>they say ponies are faggots
>and this one surely was
>he had this big dick
>now I have a big hole

Tolkien

[Anonymous No.3196976]

>i will rape my own mother as if i was a stranger

[Anonymous No.3196981]

>>3196944
Wait, so this is supposed to predict your gender from your writing?
If so, it was wrong. lel.

[Anonymous No.3196989]

http://iwl.me/b/7d921c9

[Anonymous No.3197000]

>>3196448
>I think the last time I tried going out to get lunch was like 6 or 7 months ago.

Anyway so I woke up hungry and decided it'd be great if I could go get some lunch at a nearby restaurant that is pretty cheap and delicious. I enjoyed a shower to cleanse myself for the long(10 minute) walk to the restaurant and then I got dressed. I slipped my pantsu on first, followed by a pair of pants that I then zipped and buttoned, slid into my white shirt and buttoned it up, and slipped some socks onto my feet. Then I grabbed my wallet and checked how much money I had so I knew I'd be able to afford lunch and not have to break for change. I pocketed my wallet and grabbed my cellular phone. I checked the battery and pocketed that as well. After that I grabbed the keys and swirled them around my finger once with the loop thing and enjoyed the silly noise it made. I said good bye to my dogs and closed my bedroom door. I walked to the door and slipped into my shoes, because untying and tying my shoes is a pain. I actually have an issue with my shoelaces constantly becoming untied, I don't quite understand, but it's very annoying. After that I left my apartment and started climbing down the stairs underneath the bright sun. In fact, it was too bright. The sun was reflecting off of the cement ground, the windows, every goddamn thing around. I only took thirty steps outside before being blinded and fleeing back home. "Damn you sun, you got me this time, you bastard." I thought to myself. I don't know if I'll ever beat that bastard, but I hope to one day enjoy a reasonably priced lunch again.

— J.D. Salinger

[Anonymous No.3197065]

>Everything went better then expected

[Anonymous No.3197162]

For writing the following piece of slop, this thing told me I write like George Orwell.

There is world out there. Somewhere, somewhere in this vast universe, exists a world where nouns have no synonyms. For nouns, not adjectives, verbs, or adverbs, synonyms are not synonyms, they are separate words. So, say in this peculiar world, a bungalo is a bungalo, and not another word describing a house. Oh, and a house is only a hous, not a bungalo. In this world pants are pants, and not trousers, thus making trousers just trousers, not pants; a pannier is a pannier, and not a basket, thus making a basket a basket, not a pannier, and so on and so forth. This law is one of the several bizarre laws in this paricular world. Sure, all the other laws are as genuinely bizarre, but this law is worth focusing on. It is worth focusing on this law and what kooky happenings result because of it. What now follows is one these kooky stories.
There was a penis that crossed the road to meet a dick. Which started to aing the words, "If you need a car, truck or van, who're ya gonna call? Call Champion!" whilst bobbing its… err…thing to some groovy beat. This struck the penis's curiosity, prompting it to say, "Now what the fuck does that mean? Who or what is a Champion? What is the difference between a car, truck, and van?" This inquiry made very, very little sense to the dick, who gave a look that said "You aren't from around here, are you?" To the dick, it seemed as if the penis was not of this world, but one similar to our own. A world which does not revolve around the silly notion that synonyms are completely separate words.

Actually, I don't know what to say about that.

[Anonymous No.3197380]

Uhh, bump.

[Anonymous No.3197754]

I put in the Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe, and it said I wrote like Shakespeare

[Anonymous No.3197759]

>>3197162
a spitting image, monsieur. true sputum.

[Anonymous No.3197773]

Cory Doctrow:

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. "

[Anonymous No.3197785]

I Write Like is fucking hilarious.

>enter in some bullshit pretentious poetry I wrote when I was 16
>"you write like Dan Brown"

[Anonymous No.3197821]

>Copy and paste Frank Kafka's "The Rejection".

Confirmed for shit.

[Anonymous No.3198158]

>>3196126

>copy and paste Hemingway

>you write like James Joyce

[Anonymous No.3198168]

I've done it several times, and I always get Lovecraft, Joyce, or Stoker.

[Anonymous No.3198170]

I never don't get Shakespeare, with any of my stuff

[Anonymous No.3198172]

>>3198158

DEAL WITH HIM

[Anonymous No.3198173]

god no one UNDERSTANDS me. im not some normalfag loser like every1 from hischool! one day im gona be a famous programer and make a progrm that anlzies a boy and then tels him how to be more like a girl1 so that SOciety cant tell us how to dres and act n feel n we all be liberated cus my program! im reading SICP and gona lern C because thats wht real programs start wit lol not loser c- plus plus for losers. il make my own game too it be shmups bcus thats the best kind n itl be realy deep like story about figthgn against the weflare agency for denying ur claim for autism bucks cuz udepresion and being scared of pelple IS NOT A REAL MENTAL DISORDER? FUCK U!!!!

im making tea the TRUNEET way by lose leafs i order on tea sites and i only use my japanese teapot and tea cups to drnk from bcezue western tea is for losers

MOM STOP LAUGHING AT ME

>James Joyce

[Anonymous No.3198217]

>copy paste Romeo And Juliet Act 2, scene 2, 33–49

>you write like James Joyce.

wat.

>copy paste my shitty 7th grade cutting poetry

>you write like James Joyce

It seems like anything not in a paragraph format = James Joyce.

[Anonymous No.3198268]

:)

[Anonymous No.3198313]

um...

[Anonymous No.3198333]

I've never tried to write in my entire life but I actually gave it a shot and got L Frank Baum. Good or bad?

[Anonymous No.3198334]

>>3196126

[Anonymous No.3198337]

>>3198334

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3198364]

Holy shit guys.

[Anonymous No.3198521]

>>3198217
makes sense
>>3198333
pretty bad
>>3198364
welp!

[Anonymous No.3198528]

[Anonymous No.3198535]

[Anonymous No.3198561]

J. D. Salinger...

[Anonymous No.3198580]

>>3196442

Some of my own writing.

>>3196476

I'd give up if I were you. On life, that is.

[Anonymous No.3198765]

Pasted in some of my own shit that I wrote in 10 minutes for a flash fiction competition.

[Anonymous No.3198773]

Sour cream that bagel
Cream cheese that bagel.
Scratch a fuckin name tag,
We don't need no label.
Holler at me on that comet,
Ain't even on no rocket.
Bitch i'm in yo pants,
And i ain't never been no pocket.
Go eat a dick antidote.
Chug a fifth, and she choke.
My shit go so hammy tho,
I don't even want no grammy tho.
Throw that bitch a vortex,
Bitches love floor sex.
Bitch you gettin blown out,
And we ain't even keepin score yet.
I'm cold like January,
Bitches love Larry.
I'm that new machine
That won't take yo chick 'less you dare me.
I am so fuckin stimey,
If you want me you can buy me.
If your girl's bad in October
She acts way worse in July.
So I throw that bitch a bagel,
Yea we run the table,
And we roll them b's so fast hoe
We twist up like a tornado.
This shit don't need no title.
If your crazy, i'm wild.
These drainheads take yo girlfriends
Don't give 3 fucks bout no style
So we just
Throw that bitch a bagel
Throw that bitch a bagel
Throw that bitch a bagel
Bitches love bagels

[Anonymous No.3198783]

' Is /lit impressed I typed this instead of anything I actually wrote'

[Anonymous No.3198822]

>paste nigger a ton of times
>MARK TWAIN

[Anonymous No.3198837]

>>3198783
Got that too, don't really know how to take it.

[Thor !VfGtV6L0cA No.3198854]

Is this good or bad?

[Anonymous No.3198856]

haha im the only cool guy itt

[Anonymous No.3198887]

>>3198837
we writers now

[Anonymous No.3198891]

>>3198856

[Anonymous No.3199273]

I write like H.P Lovecraft. Possibly accurate since my writing style has been accused of being "archaic", though i dont remember using the words "negro" or "half-breed" in my work.

[Anonymous No.3199285]

>>3196330
I tried two pieces of my uni work and got H.P lovecraft

[Anonymous No.3199347]

http://iwl.me/b/d760c1b4

Niggers, despicable creations and swill. I made my way shoving past them as best I could to the front of the crowd. The fowl stink of the street was washed out by their smell, and I was not able to get a breath until I move past them. At the front a woman sat sobbing with a bundle in her arms.

[Anonymous No.3199456]

[Anonymous No.3199506]

Put in my attempt at science fiction

Confidence just went up 10 fold

[Anonymous No.3199508]

>>3199456
I chuckled.

[Anonymous No.3199515]

I dont remember if I ever read anything of him but...I doubt he wrote anything like this.

Charles Dickens they say and what I wrote
Pic related
is a readaption of the Green Lantern's Oath.

[Anonymous No.3199516]

>>3198854
You will tell that to the FBI.

[LargeMagellanicCloud !NLqByHLcRc No.3199529]

"Niggardly Niggardly
Niggardly"

Mario Puzo, huh.

"I'm such a huge fucking faggot."

Cory Doctorow, not much of a surprise.

"I like to take men in my mouth and swallow what comes."

J.D. Salinger, oh.

[Anonymous No.3199530]

"I embraced the bullet like a gipsy in a candy shop, enveloped within the safety of my beefcake, I felt the mind going stray like smoke from mother's cake, a step went forward after another until I disarmed the ruffian, he had me for good and wasted his chances on a fool like me, in a way or another he was done for and left, too coward to make his way without the aid of something, perhaps he won, maybe I was dead, semantics I shouted, but only a breeze of air was heard and seen, the white smoke signaled the birth of a new angel. Honey I am home."

Randomly wrote whatever was floating in my mind.

Result: Mario Puzo.

Well I am italian so..maybe is good?

[Anonymous No.3199531]

"fuck piss shit cunt cock dick shit fucker motherfucker cunting fuck shit piss"

I write like William Gibson

[LargeMagellanicCloud !NLqByHLcRc No.3199535]

>>3199529
Might add that the one that got Mario Puzo included the quotation marks.

[Anonymous No.3199545]

[Anonymous No.3199577]

>>3196325
Hahahahaha! I did the same for Harry Potter and got this. I guess that's how the program works.

So happy because last night I posted my writing and got Dan Brown..

[Anonymous No.3199608]

HP Lovecraft.

[Anonymous No.3199613]

>mark twain

[Anonymous No.3199646]

> I write like Bram Stoker
I'm okay with this

[Anonymous No.3199742]

I got Robert Louis Stevenson. What does that mean?

[Anonymous No.3199744]

>>3199742
You're "The Pagemaster" core

[Anonymous No.3199753]

>>3199742
nothing because it's an absurd website

[Anonymous No.3199763]

>Real nigga, get da booty. Know what I mean
Written by Kurt Vonnegut.
What. The. Fuck

[Anonymous No.3199776]

Harry Harrison must be quite the guy.

[Anonymous No.3201942]

Fucking Dan Brown, I've been rewriting a damn paragraph that seems to take Lovecraft into Dan Brown.

[Anonymous No.3201953]

> I paste a shitty poem I wrote for the Dutch
"Sinterklaas Feest"
> You write like DFW

wat

[Anonymous No.3202004]

>Livin on the echo's end of the last age - where we, niggers without pride, cut our lips up with little branchie nives and masturbated in the men's butt heat - and I flipped up panties and let them flip it about, in there, wobbly, smacking the whole operation together.
You write like David Faster Sonic.
Thing's pretty akkarat.