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/lit/ - Literature

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3287616 No.3287616[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Why didnt Saruman train a army of beavers in the midst of a potential Ent attack?

It could have turned the war into his favour.

>> No.3287623

For the last time, Fredo, the eagles have eaten the beavers in Middle-earth during the third period of the first age! How come you don't know this?!

>> No.3287642
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3287642

Why didnt fredo ride radagasts bunny sled to mordor?

>> No.3287647
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3287647

>>3287623
But there was always those........who dwelled deep inside the mountain....

>> No.3287649

Why didn't Tom Bombadil keep the ring?

>> No.3287657

But why not just throw the ring in the fire to destroy it?

>> No.3287670
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3287670

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>> No.3287672
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3287672

>>3287616

Couldn't Sauron spare two goblins to guard the entrance to the volcano, given it was the only place the ring could be destroyed?

He could have just put in a suburban house door. Something with a sturdy lock. Maybe a small dog that barks when strangers come near?

Wouldn't have taken him more than a long weekend.

>> No.3287690

Why didn't Frodo just go to Gondor and hire an army to go to Mt. Doom with him?

>> No.3287692

>>3287616
I don't think you know how to use the word midst

>> No.3287694

>>3287672

> Wouldn't have taken him more than a long weekend.
> implying the orc carpenters' local would agree to work on a weekend without overtime + half, in addition to hazard pay and travel expenses

good luck getting that to happen

>> No.3287712

Why didnt Saruman make a time portal to bring abrahm tanks into middle earth?

It could have turned the war into his favour.

>> No.3287714

Since the Lonely Mountain is obviously a dormant volcano, why didn't Gandalf get the dwarves of Erebor to dig until they reached a pocket of magma? Frodo could have thrown the ring in there.

>> No.3287720

>>3287714
Sauron's Mordor Volcano has hotter lava than those ones.

Ha! Come at me again you filthy casuals. I can do this all day.

>> No.3287740

>>3287720

> implying you answered why sauron didn't build a door at the entrance to mount doom

>> No.3287766

>>3287642
HAHAHAHA

>> No.3287788

Why didn't Sauron just make another ring?

>> No.3287908

>>3287649
because he didn't give a shit about it. He would have lost it because he didn't really care about it either way.

>> No.3289341

>>3287616
why didn't Gandalf just give an eagle a portal gun to shoot in the shire and at the mountain?

>> No.3289352

why did shlob have a teeth in her ass?

>> No.3289367

>>3289352
spiders eat with their asses stuipid

>> No.3289378

why there were just 5 mages in all middle earth?

>> No.3289380

Why didn't Sauron just demolish the mountain thus preventing any possibility of the destruction of the ring? The least he could have done is booby trap the place.

>> No.3289398

Why didn't Frodo conduct an ethnolinguistics of Middle Earth and uncover the fact that he was in a repressed Christian's linguistic fantasy; rendering his project null and void unless Umberto Eco was the author?

>> No.3289412

Should've launched a massive attack day 1.
Blitzkrieg tactics, just drill through the line with horses, trees 'n shit, all the way to the mountain.
Niggas don't seem to realize offensive > passive defensive in war.

>> No.3289420

Why didn't Frodo realize that everything was meaningless and actions had no value? Why didn't he just sit home and talk about his existential crisis on ShireChan all day?

Is it because free will doesn't exist?

>> No.3289421

>>3289412
>offensive > passive defensive in war.

3:1 exchange ratio.

Please go read any of the classic works of military theory.

>> No.3289425

>>3289398
>ethnolinguistics
>MIDDLE earth

>> No.3289432

>>3289378

What were the two Blue Wizards doing while the world was going to fuck?

Slackers.

>> No.3289441

Why didn't Peter Jackson read The Hobbit?

>> No.3289445

>>3289421
>Please go read any of the classic works of military theory.
What, keeping your forces at bay, letting your enemies harass your resources? Sure, great fucking plan m8.
Bitch had combat conditioned officers keeping the good guys from breathing, while pushing their resources to the limits, massively increasing his growth.

>> No.3289459

Explain the deus ex machina employed when Tolkien suddenly decides to bring Gandalf back when he obviously meant to kill him. Conveniently, his other plot holes managed to save his ass.

>> No.3289512
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3289512

Why didn't Sauron just send out fucking everything at once, bypassing the big cities and wrecking the countryside? Why siege anything when you can just make sure they all starve to death?

The fucker is thousands of years old. Was this his first war or something?

>> No.3289532

>>3289432
cones

They were doing cones.