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/lit/ - Literature


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3781095 No.3781095 [Reply] [Original]

Hey, e/lit/es

This is my first swing at poetry, can you guys take a look?

-Anodos-
The light now fades, a sad night falls,
And expanding shades grow thin and tall.
A young man knows what must be done
As all light leaves and dark has won.

He starts to walk through hill and dale
To do what he must or else he fail.
The oak leaves crunch with fallen stem
As his dark black boot walks over them.

All dark now, but in light of day,
Those crunched up leaves were gold in fey.
These colours by noon in crimson hue
Show by dark a deep black blue

A dead wind from the South carries the sound,
All birds hide or batter down.
All things hide, or fear the wrath,
The waste of man; his prideful laugh.
But this one differs, his silence stays,
To hurt not land nor trees nor bays.

>> No.3781097

A young red squirrel risks a chance,
But sees but one little man, lost in trance.
He walks without reason, rhyme or way
Toward the far cliff on the side of the bay.

His hair is dark and as are his eyes,
Hard in the dark as expansive night skies.
As if thinking of such, the man looks high,
Past trees, past clouds, to the gourd in the sky.
As it points North, shining as bright
As it did helping slaves fight the good fight.

A cloud passed and covered the night
Darkness upon darkness, death of all sight
His footsteps stop, the silence grows
As all things halt and time now slows.
And, as a shift, the moon returns
The birds start song, the clouds have turned
The man starts again, now quicker in pace
His mind is torn ‘O the demons he face
The things in his past, now let free
Will face the light of scrutiny.

>> No.3781102

He knows not what will come of him now
His life, a ship, is hit on the bow
A wife, a child, the American Dream
Yet with this loss of a job, things change unseen.

He reaches a fork in the road up ahead
One offers escape, the other deep dread.
What did the Poet, say upon this?
That the road less traveled did lead to bliss?
But that is hard and he cannot kiss
His wife after what he had done,
In that motel hid far away from the sun.

What lies did he say to the one he loved?
On that wedding day with rice and dove?
He has broken vow with hate and spite,
And must face himself now in this darkest night.

The path goes on through darkened wood
Hidden eyes watch to see what would
Transpire on this, this empire Dark
That destroys the soul and hides the heart.

>> No.3781105

The trees now thin and the wind does blow
The sound of waves comes crashing slow
The cliff is near and he has found
He cares not more for light and sound
To end this pain is all he asks
But, as he rounds the bend he gasps--

A deep blue ocean, dark and free
That goes in forever, endlessly
With mountains of waves and crashing foam
And sunken ships with ghosts that groan
And bleached white birds flying o’ the sea
And a field of Heaven, eternally.
The man, now recovered, sits rest on a log
And fixes his mind on this impossible job.
The wood, white as bone, showed him just how
He was natural, organic, like pigs, chicks, and cow.
And what’s natural does die, and die it will must
For Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

He stood and he walked to the ocean’s Great Gate
Where the Sea and the Sky meet in colors of slate.
And cursed the God he did not believe,
As he passed back and forth at the end of the eve.

>> No.3781112

But lo, in the West there came a strange thing
A crisp, sharp, clean, breeze like the birth of Bright Spring.
That passed to and fro through the Oak and the Ash
And rolled that old log off the cliff with a splash
And the current took the wood, far out to sea
Where it still now roams, endlessly.

And from now the East; gold in the sky!
The Sun was just up and flaming on high.
Bright colors and bold it seemed to yell
Today was a day not meant for Hell.

He saw the ocean evenly full
Dancing and waving like a feisty old bull.
For light hit each of those rising crescents
And filled them up like Christmas presents.

With hue upon hue and light upon light,
He honestly doubted the existence of night.

>> No.3781118

And he laughed as he breathed as he turned around slow
And walked away from that beauteous flow.
With a light wind in his face and sun warmed back
He went to the path and picked up his sack.

As he strode to where the rock met dirt
And he knew he was glad that he was not hurt.
He never looked back as he walked through the wood
And took the road less traveled as he knew he should.
And he told the Truth to his boss and his wife
The latter in tears at his attempt on his life.
And as he picked himself up and did what needed done
And never forgot the wind and the sun.

The gust from the west and light Orient
Should remind us all of gifts nevr’ spent.
And a better man said
And he said what he meant,

“Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.”

>> No.3781123

Thoughts?

>> No.3781133

>>3781095
>expanding shades grow thin
Tighten up that second line

Try switching the third and fourth lines.

And expanding shades grow thin and tall.
As all light leaves and dark has won.
A young man knows what must be done
He starts to walk through hill and dale

>To do what he must or else he fail.
Not good