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/lit/ - Literature

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3875929 No.3875929 [Reply] [Original]

Have you ever met an author in real life? If so what was your experience?

>> No.3875931

I kicked Tao Lin out of the place where I work once

>> No.3875953

When Bret Easton Ellis came to Melbourne he offered me cocaine and anal sex which I gladly accepted but not in that order.

>> No.3875968

i had Stephen king visit my school when i was younger

>> No.3875973

I told Pynchon not to log onto 4chan from my home computer once.

>> No.3875975

maya angelou gave me a bj at an naacp conference

>> No.3875977

JK Rowling when I was in fourth grade or so.

She was okay.

>> No.3875996

I was just a few feet away from Zadie Smith at a reading. She was wearing that same red headscarf thing from her author's portrait.

>> No.3876022

>>3875929
I saw PKD's tulpa at Disneyland.

>> No.3876043

>>3875931
Did you know it was Tao Lin beforehand?
What was he doing?

>> No.3876045

met a dumb author named Avi.
total creep pedophile

>> No.3876048

I met Jonathan Ames at a panel at NYCC. I got him to sign my book, he was a pretty cool guy.

>> No.3876049

>>3875929

I met DFW at my uni. At the coffee break we chatted about ropes and sailor knots, I don't know why.

>> No.3876074

Ray Bradbury
Michael Chabon
Bret Easton Ellis
Philip Roth
David Foster Wallace & Jonathan Franzen
Harold Bloom
Robert Caro
Tony Judt
Joseph McElroy
Cormac McCarthy
Don DeLillo

Dave Barry
Tao Lin

These are just the first to come to mind. Save the spoilered men, each of these authors towered over their conversations. It's not often you feel good about being dumber than someone, but these men highlighted those disparities and turned them into something memorable.

>> No.3876132

None. Only mediocre people at my uni.

>> No.3876134

>>3875977
>fourth grade
So many liars in this thread. Not how it works in the UK.

Also who would ever want to meet any modern author? This board really has turn into pop-lit shit.

>> No.3876138

>>3876074
Wow, and a dumb average fucker like you thinks that. Just imagine how a conversation would be between those idiots and someone even as low as fucking Joyce.

>> No.3876141

>>3876138
>Joyce
>low
lmao what the fuck

>> No.3876157

>>3876138
>implying Joyce would speak

When he hung out with Beckett the two of them would sit in silence for hours.

>> No.3876161

>>3876157
>f-fight them hemmingway

Fuck Joyce.

>> No.3876168

>>3876157
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbF5hDU_F-U

>> No.3876165

>>3876161
>>3876157
Both are made up stories.

>>3876141
>lmao
Not going to take you seriously.

>> No.3876176

>>3876165
>Not going to take you seriously.
Sounds like somebody can't accept the evolution of language
go wank over Beowulf u ornery schmuck

>> No.3876190

>>3876165
>Both are made up stories.

Well it's your word against Ellmann's.

>> No.3876207

>>3876176
Sorry, I have standards.

Evolution isn't a linear progressive thing. Stupid kid.

>> No.3876208

My classics teacher is an author of science fiction. When our class graduated we all had a chilled out party at his house, got drunk and read erotic poetry to each other off his shelves. It was probably the best night of my life.

>> No.3876217

>>3876207
>I have standards
probably what they said when Milton started writing in #radical blank verse
u r big pleb who hates words, pls go

>> No.3876221

Kentucky guy here. I've met Silas House, Nikkey Finney, Gurney Norman, Wendell Berry, Ed McClanahan, George Ella Lyon, Crystal Wilkinson, Frank X Walker, and Derek Nikitas. Are you other states even trying to top Kentucky literature?

Also drank with Garrison Keillor once and talked with Richard Dawkins when he visited my University. We talked about music. Good shit.

>> No.3876244

>>3876221
hey fuckhead I don't not wat exactly youre tryin to say but why you just day it instead dancing around it like sum gay donky. I will find u and I will smash your car to smithers

>> No.3876502

>>3875929
I met a small-time local chick writer who told me I was not too young to write a memoir. I felt like she was stupid. Memoirs come at the end of your life, not in your fucking 20s. I don't even have a damn thing worth remembering yet.

>> No.3876521

Salman Rushdie

>> No.3876524

Yes.
They're like people.

>> No.3876527

Talk to Thomas Pynchon almost everyday as he gets his coffee. It's usually no more than a few words, but we've had a few conversations. Surprisingly, they've consisted mostly of him asking questions about me or my opinions on things.

>> No.3876531

>>3876527
pics or it didnt . . .

>> No.3876533

>>3876502

young authors are the fucking worst.

>> No.3876540

>>3876531
A man can dream, can't he?

>> No.3876541

>>3876533
What's so bad about us?

>> No.3876546

>>3876524

>They're like people.

Let's be honest here, if their prose is any good then they're usuallly massive fucking neurotics or noticeably south of "normal".

>> No.3876558

>>3876546
Being normal is vastly overrated.

>> No.3876567

>>3876558

I wasn't saying that?

The shit writers are "like people" perhaps, not the ones actually worth reading. Nothing normal about those ones.

>> No.3876569
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3876569

I regularly meet contemporary British writers — for instance: I've talked at length with Will Self, Joe Dunthorne and David Mitchell in the last six months. Most of them are fairly interesting, but it seems as if it's considered rather tawdry for an author to be anything other than ordinary. Consequently, the brighter (and younger) they are, the more excruciatingly boring they try to be. That said, the intellect of someone like Will Self is immediately apprehensible. I've also met a lot of comedians, actors and politicians. All things considered, the former set are invariably the most talented conversationalists.

This is all through organising events for a university society.

>> No.3876581
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3876581

>>3876567
Oh, I was just quoting the grandma from the hit original Disney channel movie, Halloweentown. I agree with you.

>> No.3877862

I saw John Updike in a coldstone creamery a year or two before he died. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if it was him and I was on the job. I wasn't sure why he'd be in Scottsdale. Then I saw on the internet that he spent his summers there. Then I kicked myself in the head. True story.

>> No.3877904

>>3875929
I met Eoin Colfer too at a thing in Newcastle. He did a speach about his childhood or something and then signed whatever the new Artermis Fowl book was.
He was pretty funny and he seemed nice doing the signing. I hardly remember it though, I was kinda young.

>> No.3877906

>>3875931
>Tao Lin
>author

pick one

>> No.3877909

I took a piss at the urinal next to Murakami once in CDG airport. Glanced over at his wang at it was pixellated just like in those jav pornos.

>> No.3878175

>>3876134
Do you really think no one in the US visits UK and that J K Rowling has never been to US?

Not that guy, but when I was in elem. school in US I spent every summer in the UK. Planes have been around a while now.

>> No.3878185

>>3876134
>Also who would ever want to meet any modern author? This board really has turn into pop-lit shit.
>yfw people said the same in the 20s, the 30s, every year of any year

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Good_old_days

>> No.3878238

I met Sherman Alexie. Dude was fucking cool but also a bleeding heart liberal

>> No.3878267
File: 134 KB, 1600x1200, IMG_2547.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3878267

>>3877909
>tfw half asian so only half your cock is pixelated, and woman see how thin it is and offer anal, so then you have anal and they get surprised at the girth but it still doesn't hurt because your half-asian and your dick is still smaller than normal

>> No.3878278

I met Tao Lin, he was really nice.

>> No.3878283

>>3877904
I met Eoin Colfer at my elementary school in Seattle, he stayed after his talk so I could come and meet him because I was sick and came to school just for that and because I was a big fan. I was embarrassed so I left really quickly, which I sort of regret but don't really cause that's how it was. He was super cool and signed my book

>> No.3878286

>>3878267
>moar

>> No.3878288

>>3878278
Nobody gives a shit.

>> No.3878305

>>3878288
I like how you went out of your way to sage that response.

>> No.3878425

>>3878185
Haha oh man, you're a dork.

Go back to reddit, really.

>> No.3878427

>>3878185
Are you saying there isn't objectively good things? Objectively superior literature?

>rationalwiki
you are a huge faggot and aren't truly rational nor are those dweebs are (it isn't a science based thing you r-tards)

>> No.3878441

I met some guy who wrote a book about climbing mount everest, he only had one arm.
I was 13 or 14 at the time and I called him a loser because I thought it was edgy and funny.

>> No.3878448

>>3878441
and now look who's the loser AHAHAHAHHA

>> No.3878459

>>3878448
at least I have both my arms

>> No.3878460

>>3878459
loser

>> No.3878493

if this counts, someone in my english class has self-published a novel where the protagonist is a cat-person with special powers who goes to high school with other cat-people with special powers.

>> No.3878494

>>3878460
at least I don't waste my time trying to accomplish something as arbitrary and meaningless as climbing a mount that has been climbed a thousand times before

>> No.3878497

>>3878278

"Br0", can you please reply

are you actually Tao Lin or just his friend?

>> No.3878532

>>3878494
Yes yes we get it, you're not just a loser but an insecure one.

jackass

>> No.3878552

I met Megan Boyle in the Dallas airport. She tripped over my bags.

>> No.3878575

>>3878552
lel
Did you speak or did you just let her go, unawares to your fandom, Tao Lin?

>> No.3879417

>>3875929
Myself and a few other undergrads had dinner with Noam Chomsky this year. shit was cash

>> No.3879425
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3879425

I went on a Venice trip with our school, as part of the English department. It was a culture trip they ran every year, it wasn't a wealthy sixth form so I was surprised they did it. (Year 12, 3 years ago.) Anyway, one of the heads of English from another school who came was good friends with Carol Ann Duffy, the UK's Poet Laureate, and she decided to come with us.

On the first night where we stayed in Milan (we dropped off there and drove the venice the next day,) we overlooked a lake and she bought us all beer. She was a pretty cool woman, as expected from a bro-tier lesbian. I expected her to be very unrelatable, but she was nothing but pleasant, and she spent a good amount of time with us. I remember even cracking a few jokes with her, she was very down to earth.

Overall, I had a great experience finding out more about her, and she read us poems she was working on that she has since released. While I'm not the greatest fan of her poetry, that memory will always put a smile on my face.

>> No.3879433

I met Irvine Welsh at a party at the publishers where I work.

I've meet a bunch of semi-famous young writers on a regular basis.

If any of you are wondering how people go about getting those little reviews ("Perfect book to curl up with on a winter evening!" on their books, it's very often through mingling at a party and making the other person feel obliged to write one. Most of the time they don't even read the books.

>> No.3879437

I met Tao Lin. He was a nice guy. I'd like to meet Tao Lin again. Tao Lin.

>> No.3879441

I met Zizek and Rushdie at a festival a while ago, I went with my girlfriend. When we approached them Zizek looked at me then at my girlfriend and said "The fuck you doing with this stupid cunt? Get with this dick or get raped you whore". I was completely shocked and didn't know if he was joking so I stood in silence just not sure of what to say. Then a voice was heard from behind him "Oh Zizek you found another goofball?", "Yeah Rushdie, this one looks like a complete dick head, his girlfriend is pretty banging though, I'd fuck her asshole", "Oh yeah, maybe we should fill his girlfriend ass with goofballs so she'd know how much of a goofball he is". Right at that moment Zizek jumped on my girlfriend and pulled her pants down, I tried to stop him but Rushdie jumped on me and held me down he started whispering in my ear "She's going to get the goofballs and you aint going to do nothing about it!", I watched on in horror as my girlfriend stared at me in the eyes as Zizek undressed her and rammed his fingers up her ass, she was trying to scream but Zizek just kept pushing her head down. Zizek looked at me and mouthed the word "Goofball". It was like a silent movie, I watched as Zizek then proceeded to pull out his testicles and forcibly push them into her anus with his hands. Rushdie who was still holding me down started to squeal into my ear "She's getting the goofballs", he started to twist my nipple as far as it could go and I could feel blood trickling from it onto my shirt, I felt what I can assume was Rushdie’s boner pushing into my back... I blacked out.

>> No.3879449

>>3879441
10/10 best new short story

>> No.3879458

>>3878425
>back to reddit
Seriously?

>>3878427
The golden age fallacy is a legit fallacy, though. In 50 years /lit/izens would want to live in 2013 because there was so much great literature there

>> No.3879462

I saw Tao Lin in a grocery store yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was a little taken aback, and I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his fat hand shut in front of me over and over again. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle and fart as I walked away.
When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>> No.3879469

>>3879441
Holy fuck! Is this true! I can imagine Zizek snorting and sniffing his fingers after extracting them from your girl's ass. How horrible. I hope this is just a story.

>> No.3879483

Saramago in a book signing. He wasn't nice, but he looked tired.

>> No.3879481

I was with my kids at the zoo in Saskatoon, playing on the playground and I got talking with another father, there with his family. I asked him what he did, as one does, and he mentioned that he was a writer. We talked about the writing scene in the city (such as it is), opportunities in small publishers (surprisingly good for a small city) and e-publishing and such. I didn't think much of it and enjoyed a thoughtful conversation. As we were leaving his partner/wife came and said, "Yann, are we leaving soon?" I looked at him, trying to not be a slack-jawed fan (since I'm not really a fan) and asked, Are you Yann Martel? He grinned and said yes and wished me a good day and left with his family. I felt like a douche initially, but got over it.

It's an odd thing meeting a famous person. I mean, what was I agog about at first? I thought that Life of Pi was mostly shite, though I appreciated the chutzpah in Beatrice and Virgil (which I have not read). His statement, that Jews don't own the holocaust, is fantastic. Not that I want to tempt the bottomdwellers from /pol/ to tell us about the jews.

Anyway. Yann Martel. Nice guy. Family man. Shit writer.

>> No.3879508

>>3879462
Obviously true.

>> No.3879531

>>3879425
I enjoyed hearing that.

>> No.3879539

>>3878575
I was on klonopins at the time so I started babbling about Tao Lin and said "I know who you are, Megan." When she left I couldn't stop laughing because I was remembering the time that Tao Lin peed in her mouth when they were 69ing.

>> No.3879541

>>3878493
That doesn't count for anything and you know it. May as well know a fetish artist from deviant art and claim you know a great graphic novelist.

>> No.3880133

>>3879417
How did that happen?

Please elavborate

>> No.3880179

>>3880133
MIT has a bunch of academic awards each year, and the acceptance of the prize is followed by a dinner with the heads of staff/departments, and Noam was there. He wasn't sat at our table but in the meet-and-greet we spoke to him for aroudn 20 minutes, and when my group left we talked about the death fo Chavez and the Bolivarian stuff in general

>> No.3880183

I once met a group of German nihilists.

>> No.3880185

>>3880183
We've all seen the Big Lebowski pal

>> No.3880191
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3880191

Met Terry Brooks, Lorrie Moore, Denis Johnson annnnnnd I am sorry to say, Deepok Chopra. Also hung out with the kid who wrote Eragon, he was a bit of a spaz.

Brooks was awesome,

>> No.3880192

>>3876541

You always write memoirs.

>> No.3880193

>>3880192
>what is a bildungsroman

>> No.3880225

Joe Haldeman. Nice guy. Got to shake his hand.

>> No.3880285

I met a guy called Mark Waters or something in Waterstones. He'd written some teen fantasy shit but we got talking about books and his library, his inspirations, and my writing (he gave me some publishing advice which was awesome), he was a pretty cool guy

>> No.3880324

When I was young I met the guy Brian Jacques who wrote the Redwall series... didn't he die? I should sell the books I had him sign, you can't get him to do any more I'd imagine, if he's dead.

>> No.3880353

>>3876134
>reading
Good thing Cinema is always good. And if you don't think so you aren't looking hard enough.

>> No.3880364

i met David Foster Wallace once. we were talking and he suddenly let out a few farts; i had to reach out to grab his hand as a warning to stop.

>> No.3880369

>>3880364
lol

>> No.3880413

>>3876074
I don't think there's anything wrong with Barry. He's a pretty funny guy.

>> No.3880418

>>3879462
The original was about Flying Lotus

>> No.3880419

>>3876074

so you actually do have to be intelligent to be a successful author... shite

>> No.3880431

It's more /sci/, but I met Temple Grandin a few years ago at some event she did at Rutgers. Got a book signed and all that. Also, one of my life goals is having a chat in person with Neil Gaiman. I'll let you know how that goes when it happens.