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/lit/ - Literature

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3900746 No.3900746 [Reply] [Original]

Just finished my novel, mind if you guys give me some feedback on my final paragraph? Here it goes:

"Well, that's my story then, hope you guys enjoyed it. After telling it I realized my life might be a little weirder than I thought. My mom's Nancy Drew collection is a bit quirky and my Dad's habit of pulling his socks over his pants must scare a couple of my friends. As for Mike, he went to a top Business School and is interning at Goldman Sachs this winter, suiting right? My sister, Betty is still trying to make it big as a skateboarder haha. And me, I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing, writing, and really, just, experiencing. Living in the Big Apple taught me a lot of things but most of all it taught me to be happy with who I am. Here's to the rest of our lives!

>> No.3900755

I'm no critic so I can't begin on giving constructive advice. all I can say is I wouldn't read it

>> No.3900759

awful. dare you to post the last three pages.

>> No.3900763

By "novel" do you mean you ran out of pages in your diary that documented your adolescent years as a faggot?

>> No.3900760

>>3900755
Well, try to give some advice! It's based on my real life except I never went to NYC although I want to go to NYU someday. Can't wait to just sit outside a cafe writing down my thoughts.

>> No.3900762

>>3900755
Pretty much this. I'm not sure if OP is a troll post or just awkward (in a bad sense) prose.

>> No.3900767

>>3900763

:D

>> No.3900771

>>3900763
A wild troll appears! C'mon I thought this wasn't /b/.

>> No.3900773

OP here, if I don't make it as a writer my plan is to open up a coffee shop/cafe but in the back it'd also be a bookstore and even sell some vintage clothing. I'd also try to have some musicians perform and writers do readings. Just a place for creative people to hang out, work and talk to each other. Thinking of doing this in either Greenwhich Village or maybe even somewhere in Brooklyn if it seems safe enough.

>> No.3900774

>>3900746
>haha

It reads like a forced high school essay documenting your trip to NY for the summer. I can only assume that the plot of your novel revolved around your father's socks and Nancy Drew, because that's the synopsis you've given. You wrote "suiting" when you meant to write "fitting". I hope you were just fucking with us and that you didn't actually write a whole novel in this prose.

Keep writing, though. Read a lot of different 'classic' authors -- the ones /lit/ can't shut up about are great reading (DFW, Tao Lin, Joyce, Dostoevsky, Orwell) because they all have very unique approaches to writing. Take heed: not all of the writers I just listed are good, and /lit/ is divided on all of them except Dostoevsky, who just objectively has sort of shitty prose, after translation. Try to imitate their styles,then go back to writing naturally, and you'll hopefully develop a knack for which mannerisms in writing you like and which you don't. As it stands, your mannerisms are on par with those of a 9th grader. At least you're writing -- you'll get better with time.

>> No.3900776

>>3900773
Either way, your chances of turning into a complete git are high. Just saiyan.

>> No.3900781

Obvious troll

>> No.3900782

I'm thinking of trying to get this published, any idea where to start? Can I just mail it in to Random House?

>> No.3900785

>>3900774
I've tried reading those guys before it seems like they just try to be weird for the sake of being weird. I read a lot though, my favorite is probably "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" which is what inspired me to become a writer. I read a lot of my mom's James Patterson books but I want to write something with a bit more depth.

>> No.3900789

>>3900746
This has the feel of one of those end-of-the-movie narrations about one of those feel-good family movies about a kid growing up. You definitely need to read and practice more before you've even have a chance at becoming a recognized writer. Keep your optimism, but remember to be realistic.

>> No.3900794

>>3900789
I have to beg to differ. I know that this is way better than most of the books I've ever read. I've even had my friends read over it and they love it. Maybe you guys are just being harsh because it's 4chan......

>> No.3900815

>>3900794
drop us the last three pages then. A closing paragraph tells us very little. Even five pages from a random chapter would be fine. give us something we can get our teeth into.

>> No.3900877

sounds horrible
i'm not surprised you were inspired by PobaW

>> No.3900885

>>3900794
>I read a lot of my mom's James Patterson books

Doesn't take much to trump Patterson.

>> No.3900887

>>3900785
you don't even give a shit about the advice he gave you

>> No.3900889
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3900889

I feel like I'm being troll baited. You intentionally wrote a shitty paragraph in order to draw criticism. Then, you offered (and continued to offer) responses that serve to accentuate your inadequacy as a writer, such as to infuriate as many people as possible.

Either that, or you're writing for a pre-teen/young adult audience, in which case you're pretty much set to go.

Also, >if I don't make it as a writer
>pic related

You should go ahead and open that store, OP.

>> No.3900891

>>3900746
Dear God I hope you're joking.

>> No.3900896

>>3900785
That book is so bland and sentimentalist it's not even funny. It's one of my girlfriend's favourite books and I can't say I'm too happy about that.

>for the sake of being weird

>> No.3900898

>>3900785
Troll confirmed.

>> No.3900903

>>3900794
> I know that this is way better than most of the books I've ever read.

Well, you read complete shit, then. This is horribled and such hubris is definitely not going to help you in the journey of self-improvement as a writer.

>> No.3900907

>>3900746
Sounds like something the narrator of a cheesy teen comedy from the 80s would have said.

>> No.3900909

>>3900746
i like your voice anon. keep practicing and i think you will be a successful writer.

few points:
>the suiting pun is lame
>i don't think the 'haha' works
>don't become a jaded faggot like 99% of the wieners on this board

good luck

>> No.3900910

>>3900903
horrible*

By the way, either your friends are just nice people or they are suffering from a universal lack of taste. That being said, I bet that most people who try writing and later show the result to their friends can say the same about the responses.

Fucking sucking-up dishonest assholes, that's what friends are.

>> No.3900917

Do you not realise this is a troll?
>my plan is to open up a coffee shop/cafe but in the back it'd also be a bookstore and even sell some vintage clothing
> I've even had my friends read over it and they love it.
>my favorite is probably "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" which is what inspired me to become a writer
I mean, really now - you ought to know better.
as for OP: 6/10 - not quite jimmy rustlin, but some were rused

>> No.3900923

>>3900917
You do realise these posts could be people mocking OP?
Not saying that OP isn't a troll himself, it's just that especially the coffee shop part is a bit too obvious.

>> No.3900925

>>3900917
fun-killer

>> No.3900926

>>3900923
hmm.. you have a point. I might have ruined some fun for them. For that I am sorry.

>> No.3900937

I like you writing OP, eff the haters. I'm looking to get into literature myself, I watch a lot of movies though. maybe you can suggest something for someone who likes: fight club donnie darko requiem for a dream memento v for vendetta shawshank redemption se7en american history X ternal sunshine pan's labrynth royal tenenbaums black swan 500 days of summer little miss sunshine garden state american beauty and of course the boondock mother fucker saints

>> No.3900943

>>3900937
A coloring book.

>> No.3900959

>>3900943

lol'd hard

>> No.3900967

>>3900937
you forgot me you and everyone we know

>> No.3902668

>>3900773

Please be a woman. That is the only way such a pathetic existence and writing can be justified.

>> No.3902687

>>3902668
>being this buttflustered about women, on the internet
possibly the lowest form of existence, even tubeworms feel warmth at some point in their lives

>> No.3902730

>>3900746
OP, I'm only saying this because I'm almost certain you're trolling, but this is just horrible. It's so bad that it's funny. Hopefully that's what you're going for.

>> No.3902755

>>3900746
The first paragraph, please?

>> No.3902789

>>3900746

OP, tl;dr: it's shit. Leave writing and go pursue something else, preferably something that doesn't require any creativity.

>> No.3902877

>>3900746
fuck, if this wasn´t a troll I would have paid to read the rest

>> No.3902881

>>3900746
> [skipped some tripe movie script dialogue]
Stick to writing movie trailers instead, m8. You're not really cut out for this whole 'books' thing.

>> No.3902885

>>3900782
>I'm thinking of trying to get this published, any idea where to start? Can I just mail it in to Random House?
Yeah, you do that. Make sure it's the only copy in existence, publishers hate it when you submit multiple copies at the same time.