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/lit/ - Literature

File: 714 KB, 1040x970, My Lil Vampire Kitty by Sara Gilmore.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:23:57 2013 No.4160797 [DELETED]

[Reply] [Original]

>Self publishing

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:29:58 2013 No.4160806 File: 222 KB, 340x569, The Joy of Loving a White Man by Margaret Heard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >Bonus Self Published Work

Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:31:57 2013 No.4160815

Why do you feel the need to keep making this thread?

http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S4145307
http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S4130048
http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S4113928
http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S4095087

Yes the excerpts are awful but it's pretty fucking autistic of you to keep making the same thread over and over. If not autistic then majorly insecure.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:33:57 2013 No.4160818 >>4160815 >NO FUN!

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:42:57 2013 No.4160835 >>4160818 It's not about "fun" though, is it? This is a sustained attack of some sort grounded in your insecurities.

Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:48:58 2013 No.4160847

>>4160815
1. It's amazing the amount of things you can learn from briefly glancing at the self published dreck available on the internet. What tone not to use, what common phrases not to use, how not to start a story, how not to establish a setting or a character, how not to switch tenses, the importance of spell checking...
2. It's funny as fuck. Everyone on /lit/ loves The Cool Brothers.
3. This is a literature board. This is one of few threads which encourage people to read and discuss literature unlike any of these threads on the front page:
>>4159637
>>4159580
>>4159861
>>4159894
>>4158843
4. I like to rustle the jimmies of self published "authors" who browse /lit/.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:49:57 2013 No.4160848 Yeah, this is getting ridiculous. It was marginally funny the first 15 times you made this thread but it's time to put the light out for a while anon.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 15:53:58 2013 No.4160857 >>4160797 >Do we really a purpose on this Earth? I can tell this author is really existential.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 16:10:58 2013 No.4160889 >My name is Kitty and I am a junior at Creature High. >two pages later >Hi, I'm Kitty.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 16:23:17 2013 No.4160908 >>4160847 It's getting old and tired. Make threads about something else.

Anonymous Sat Oct 5 16:25:17 2013 No.4160912
File: 28 KB, 320x294, suicidal rodent.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4160797
>There was a time before my age...
>During the end of the war...
>Kyouryoku, my father was the strongest creature in the land...
>After being left in the forest by my mother Jack...

BOOOORING

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 16:36:17 2013 No.4160935 >>4160912 info dumping usually is or starting with the main character being born or starting before the main character is born

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 17:00:18 2013 No.4161009 File: 414 KB, 245x171, haa.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4160797 >mutt bread

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 17:44:07 2013 No.4161092 File: 342 KB, 782x720, all hail the hive queen.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4160806 >He asked me if I knew he was white. I said, "No," and wondered to myself why Betty was wasting my time sending him to me.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 17:50:07 2013 No.4161109 >>4160797 >Where not bad people Why would you pay to self-publish without at least spell checking it

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 17:51:40 2013 No.4161111 >no one posted Keeper of the light yet. >pleb tier mocking thread

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 17:53:40 2013 No.4161116 File: 14 KB, 220x319, 220px-Mountbatten.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >because it it creates a un-blood or mutt bread >mutt bread

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 18:00:40 2013 No.4161124 File: 31 KB, 737x391, pumpernickel.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4161116 I think Outback Steakhouse has complimentary mutt bread

Anonymous Sat Oct 5 19:19:15 2013 No.4161268
File: 70 KB, 382x787, mary sue.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4160797
>Well other than haaving natural blue hair and pointy ears, the way I am different may scare you.
>Tragic past, deceased father
>As for me I'm the only one of my kind or mix of any kind so I stay in a place of my own.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 19:42:17 2013 No.4161305 >>4161268 >yfw you realise the person who made that image must have intentionally read fanfiction

Anonymous Sat Oct 5 20:14:15 2013 No.4161340
File: 63 KB, 399x382, 1380979291071.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4160797
>Where not bad people, or whatever it is that you would like to call us, but we have been among the human race for centuries now
>where not bad people
>where

>mutt bread

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 20:17:16 2013 No.4161345 >>4161124 Haha what the fuark is that brah fuckin' banged up a loaf a damper last night that shit looks off the chain tho.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 20:22:15 2013 No.4161349 >>4161345 >Haha what the fuark is that brah fuckin' banged up a loaf a damper last night that shit looks off the chain tho

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 21:13:10 2013 No.4161425 What IS mutt bread?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 21:16:10 2013 No.4161431 >>4161425 I think it's kind of like a harlequin baby but for dogs.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 21:34:10 2013 No.4161446 >>4161425 I think she's trying to make her own terminology for "mudblood"

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 22:04:09 2013 No.4161484 >>4161305 "My immortal" was a great read, I had a lot of laughs.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 22:14:10 2013 No.4161498 >>4161268 What about the opposite? A character who's completely shitty at everything, has no redeeming qualities, takes very little spotlight, and all the characters hate them? Is that bad, too?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 22:23:10 2013 No.4161520 File: 39 KB, 405x590, confederacy of dunces.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4161498 No. That wins you a Pulitzer.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 22:37:45 2013 No.4161550 >>4161520 holy shit i aspirated tea

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 22:59:31 2013 No.4161581 batter hahaha oh my god im not english but that made me lol

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 5 23:02:30 2013 No.4161584 >>4161520 Sure but you have to kill yourself first.

Anonymous Sun Oct 6 15:18:24 2013 No.4162929

>>4160797
>Next is Shalashaska is a dark wizard
>Also without her I don't think we would survive around Shalashaska when he got upset, cause she's the one who keeps not only him safe and sane, but all of us as well.

He sounds like grade-A boyfriend material.

Anonymous Mon Oct 7 00:24:12 2013 No.4164061
File: 23 KB, 231x346, dragonsnshit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Bad self-publishing? Oh, /lit/, you haven't seen anything yet.
Look up "The Dragons and the Words of Knowledge" on Amazon. I used to know the author in real life. She takes no criticism and probably still thinks her shit is enjoyable. Seriously, who the fuck names their magical land Fuhammaferackerderolaxebgaronotob?

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 00:27:13 2013 No.4164070 >>4164061 I have to say... I sort of like that cover. It's ethereal/abstract/weird. Would read if it was self-aware

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 00:31:13 2013 No.4164074 File: 292 KB, 579x651, The Dragons and the Words of Knowledge Allison W.A. Price 9780557057665 Amazon.com Books.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4164070 >self-aware >ahahaha

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 00:35:12 2013 No.4164079 File: 310 KB, 833x1042, 1369522382790.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4164061

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 00:37:12 2013 No.4164082 File: 9 KB, 325x35, Screen Shot 2013-10-06 at 9.40.27 PM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4164061

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 00:52:13 2013 No.4164101 File: 272 KB, 549x835, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4164074 Did you read the next page? It almost gets Kafkaesque

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 01:05:13 2013 No.4164124 File: 244 KB, 838x332, bnh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] you, too, can make it big just find your niche and write to your audience, /lit/

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 01:07:13 2013 No.4164128 >>4164124 jesus...

Anonymous Mon Oct 7 01:38:13 2013 No.4164175
File: 109 KB, 245x200, gD02A.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4164124
Funny, women have their feet on the ground with books, they read more than men and don't worry if a book is genius or going to be read in 100 years time. Somehow more authentic / less pretentious, right. I'm sure /lit/ agrees.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 01:54:21 2013 No.4164192 File: 341 KB, 581x825, women writers.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4164124 >Millionaire >Millionaire >Millionaire >Millionaire I'm not saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke nigga.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 02:03:20 2013 No.4164200 >>4164101 lel

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 02:18:21 2013 No.4164218 http://www.amazon.com/Price-Peace-Brayden-Summerfield/dp/1616674776/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381126658&sr=1-1 apparently this kid is 16 or so, very very cringe worthy

Anonymous Mon Oct 7 02:28:20 2013 No.4164241
File: 34 KB, 840x444, untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4164124
What exactly is preventing you from writing a shitty book that caters to some obscure audience, get a dozen of fake five star reviews and sell a couple of thousands of that book for 0.99$ apiece? It appears that having no obvious spelling errors already makes you book better than 50% of its competitors.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 02:38:20 2013 No.4164253 >>4164218 >If you don't get it, then I guess it's just 2deep4you, and you should stick to reading easy stuff, like Sonic the Hedgehog and Emmanuel Kant, no offense. made me smirk for a fraction of a second

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 03:46:15 2013 No.4164316 >>4164192 Most women I know aren't like that. Why is it that social justice warriors seem to have more of an interest in doing something journalism related than any other subgroup of our female population?

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 06:38:27 2013 No.4164467 >>4160889 I'm hoping the twist is that Kitty turns out to have dysfunctional memory and can't remember things past an hour.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 07:38:15 2013 No.4164512 >>4164101 >Ants started crawling allover him. >allover That rustled my jimmies more than the horrible writing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 7 07:44:16 2013 No.4164523 >>4160797 >For those who like the snow we have a building that is nothing but snow on the inside how considerate

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