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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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4474994 No.4474994[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>Friend reading The Odyssey
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Ulysses
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where Achilles went

>> No.4474997

thingsthatneverhappened.txt

>> No.4475001

lel

>> No.4475020

Do you commonly hang out with your friends, covertly lugging doorstop size books for the purpose to swap the book out, and just watch your friends reading?

>> No.4475025

kek

>> No.4475029

This is not an amusing enough story to justify a thread.

>> No.4475037

You know, Reader's Digest has a section for this stuff.

>> No.4475059

This thread is simply epic

Is it just me or has /lit/ gotten noticeably worse lately?

>> No.4475075

>>4475059
It's you. You have made /lit/ noticeably worse lately.

>> No.4475080

>>4475059
refer to the Anon's Postulate: no internet community improves over time.

>> No.4476149

>>4475080
That implies that an internet community is best at its conception and after that plateaus or declines

It's much more likely a parabola, an ebb and flow, an undulation

>> No.4476154

>>4475059
No, it's been bad since inception.

>> No.4476166

>>4476149
yeah if y = -x^2

>> No.4476169

so on a scale of 1 to improbable, I'd give this thread 4 gold stars out of nigger you just went full plebeian

>> No.4476364

>Odyssey
>Achilles

>> No.4476929

So you just carry a copy of Ulysses in your pocket that is somehow very similar inn appearance to your friend's version of The Odyssey?

>> No.4477270

>>4476929
would it make you feel any better had he said, that he ejaculated on your moms face?

>> No.4477284

This is a repost of a thread from /tv/ earlier today. It went:

>Friend and I watching Goodfellas
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the DVD with Casino
>He comes back
>Watches for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where Ray Liotta went

OP further went onto explain in the thread that they had paused it during a scene of Joe Pesci fighting, and he put a similar part on in Casino.

I saw it turn into a meme spanning other boards before my very eyes.

>> No.4477299
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4477299

>>4476154
Like, the movie?

>> No.4477379

this was the weirdest thread to read while tripping on 7 grams of shrooms

thanks

>> No.4477443

Damn OP, you have some stupid friends. That is, assuming this actually happened.

>> No.4477450

>Friend reading The Bible
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Atlas Shrugged
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where my fedora went

>> No.4477545

>>4474994
Achilles is dead before The Odyssey.

>> No.4477571

>Friend reading Being and Time
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Time and Being
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where the existential analysis of dasein went

>> No.4477582

>Friend reading Finnegans Wake
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Naked Lunch
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where did the farts go?

>> No.4477585

>Friend reading Spot Goes To School
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Clifford The Big Red Dog
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where did the fold-outs go?

>> No.4477657

>Friend reading Plato's Symposium
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Mishima's Confessions of a Mask
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Reaches out and touches my thigh gently

>> No.4477779

>>4474994
>Friend reading gay book
>He has to use restroom
>While he's in the restroom I use the opportunity to swap out book for my Gameboy Advance with Tony Hawk 3
>He comes back
>Plays for 5mins without realizing anything is wrong
>"Hey where's Bob Burnquist?"

>> No.4478259

Thank you guys, you really made my day.

>> No.4478265

>>4475059
Every board on 4chan seems to be "worse lately". I don't know what is wrong with you people, every board is the same and will always be the same.

>> No.4478269

>>4477657
kek

>> No.4478305

>>4478265
While I agree every board has always sucked and merely seems to get worse, I also think that with the recent-ish rise of leddit/chive/9gag/imgur that there is some spill over of people wanting to experience firsthand the board that all of their favorite memes came from

leddit's influence is very apparent on /v/. Maybe /b/, but I haven't been to /b/ since ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA and I've never looked back

>> No.4478319
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4478319

>Friend reading Lolita
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I swap the book with Peter Sotos' 'Pure'
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>'Wow dude, Humbert sure is fucked up'

>> No.4478320

>>4478265
this, people get tired of 4chan after a while, that's when they blame the content while it's exactly the same

>> No.4478327

>>4478305
Like it or not, Reddit comes up with much more OC nowadays. Not that I care about their precious maymays.

I stopped browsing /b/ at around the same time and share your feelings by the way.

>> No.4478430

>>4478327
but reddit is a capitalist cultural role game
at least our system is designed to be minarchist
>tfw you will never be a 4chan mod and implement a 5 year plan to turn /lit/ into a situationist haven

>> No.4478443

>>4478430
>Friend reading The Capital
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with The Wealth of Nations
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where the proletariat went

>> No.4478462
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4478462

>>4477585

>> No.4478472

>Friend reading The Rum Diaries
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Fear and Loathing
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where Johnny Depp went

>> No.4478474
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4478474

>friend browsing Reddit
>he goes for a bathroom break
>I change the url to 4chan.org/lit/
>he comes back
>continues to read without noting any changes

>> No.4478514
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4478514

>Friend reading The Trial
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Invitation to a beheading
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>"Oh, he finally went in prison"

>> No.4478519

>>4478474
well played.

also

>having friends

>> No.4478531

>>4475059

every generation of posters says the current generation of posters is the worst

>> No.4478545

>Friend reading the fault in our stars
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with looking for alaska
>He comes back
>reads the entire book without realising anything wrong
>I poison his coffee

>> No.4478560

>>4478531
i was born in da wrong 4chan generashun

thumbs up if u agre

>> No.4478568

>Friend reading a Dan Brown's book
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with another Dan Brown's book
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks why it looks like the same book

>> No.4478590

>Friend listening to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
>he goes to the bathroom
>I put on the wailings of my hillbilly neighbor that I've recorded for the lulz
>We listen for 15 minutes
>He only notices when "Oh Comely" never plays

>> No.4478601

>>4478590
is there a mu thread with these right now?

>> No.4478602

thumbs up :^)

>> No.4478607

>Friend reading Caribbean
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap it with a scat magazine
>He comes back
>Read for 5min without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where all the shit went

>> No.4478609

>>4478601
Not that I'm aware of. It's just the first thing I thought of

>> No.4478638

>>4475029
you are why /lit/ is the shittest board

>> No.4478642

> Friend reading Invisible Cities
> He goes for a bathroom break
> I swap the book with Marcovaldo
> He comes back
> Reads for 5 mins without realizing anything wrong
> Asks if cows are like trams and if they have stations
> I say that they are going to Mountains
> He asks if they are wearing skis

>> No.4478684

>>4477545

>The Underworld.

>> No.4479040

>Friend reading Pynchon
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I sit down on the table where he left the book with my arse in the wind
>He comes back
>Smells my farts for 5 mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where Slothrop went

>> No.4479088

>Friend reading Nietzsche
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I swap it with Kierkegaard
>He comes back
>Reads for 5 mins without realizing anything wrong
>Keeps on reading without asking anything
>Knows I switched the books and doesn't care because he's a fucking nihilist

>> No.4479472

>Friend reading The Bible
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with every piece of writing from the western world
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks why it's the same stories over and over again

>> No.4480989
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4480989

>>4479040

>> No.4480995

>Friend watching Her
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I swap the movie for Stoner
>He comes back
>Reads for 5 mins without realising anything wrong
>Asks why Scarlett Johansson has turned into a psycho bitch

>> No.4480997

>>4480995
fuck off tv, i haven't seen your movies to get the joke

>> No.4480998

>>4480997
It's not a good one, don't worry

>> No.4481000

>>4476149
Wouldn't an ebb and flow be more like a sine wave?

>> No.4481021

>Friend reading The History of Sexuality
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I ejaculate on the book
>He comes back
>Reads forever without realizing anything wrong

>> No.4481706
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4481706

>Friend reading Moby-Dick
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Confessions of a Mask
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where Queequeg went

>> No.4481726

>>4481706
I always feel sad when I think of her.

>> No.4481735

>>4481726
She was really cute, she's in a better place now bro.

>> No.4481739

>Friend reading Neverwhere
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with every single Neil Gaiman book
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks where the magic underworld that is hidden close to our everyday reality is
>oh
>nevermind
>there it is

>> No.4481750

>>4478474

#smackdown

>> No.4481804

>>4481739
NERD BURN

>> No.4484021

>>4481804

nope

>> No.4484034
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4484034

alright i love this thread i love this site

>> No.4484075

>Friend reading The Republic
>He goes for a beathroom break
>I swap the book with Mein Kampf
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks why people suddenly started to refer to Hitler as Socrates.

>> No.4484081

>Friend reading Society of Spectacle
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I swap the book with new issue of Cosmopolitan
>He comes back
>Reads for 5mins without realising anything wrong
>Then says: Oh I finally get it

>> No.4484086

>>4484075
Kek

>> No.4484091

>friend reading Kalevala
>he goes for a bathroom break
>I swap the book with Edda
>he comes back
>reads for whole life without realizing anything wrong

>> No.4484097

>friend reading /lit/
>I change it to /b/
>he never notices
>implying I have a friend

>> No.4484162
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4484162

I'm pretty sure he would have noticed, op.

>> No.4484179

>>4484162
epic book collection :^)

>> No.4484181

>>4484162
Tennyson's?

>> No.4484204

>>4479472

Lost here,you little postmodernist

>> No.4484213

>Friend reading China Mieville
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I swap the book with Kapital
>He comes back
>Reads for 5 mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks when will he get back to action

>> No.4484224

>Friend reading "Blood Electric" from PC
>He goes for a bathroom break
>I swap the reader with 'cat dev/urandom | less'
>He comes back
>Reads for 5 mins without realizing anything wrong
>Asks when will /lit/ get interdisciplinary jokes

>> No.4484256

>>4474994
>>Asks where Achilles went

He went to Elysium in the fucking Iliad though

>> No.4484662

>>4484256

That's the joke.

10/10 OP I chuckled.

>> No.4484767

>>4478568
First laughter of the day.

>> No.4484770

>>4479088
This is fucking hilarious.