ITT: Elder-god tier kids books

[Anonymous No.7902748]

[Anonymous No.7902752]

[Anonymous No.7902770]

[Anonymous No.7902772]

>>7902748
>edgy atheist Paradise Lost fanfic

[Anonymous No.7902776]

[Anonymous No.7902780]

[Anonymous No.7902799]

[Anonymous No.7902807]

[Anonymous No.7902810]

[Anonymous No.7902817]

[Anonymous No.7902825]

[Anonymous No.7902849]

>>7902748

[Anonymous No.7902857]

>>7902849
DELETE THIS

[Anonymous No.7902862]

>>7902849
triggered

[Anonymous No.7902866]

>>7902817
really great one that i somehow forgot and then rediscovered and was still enthralled

[Anonymous No.7902872]

>>7902817
v true

[Anonymous No.7902877]

[Anonymous No.7902879]

[Anonymous No.7902880]

>>7902748

[Anonymous No.7902883]

[Anonymous No.7902916]

>>7902817
One of the only books I started and never finished. I quite want to try again, it seems quirky and fun. Spent half an hour the other week trying to find my old copy in the garage. Sadly, couldn't find it.
thanks for reading my blog

[Anonymous No.7902977]

Also, The Hobbit and The Edge Chronicles.

[Anonymous No.7903019]

>>7902879
I loved this series when I was younger, especially the illustrations.

[Anonymous No.7903036]

[Anonymous No.7903049]

>>7903036
I hated it when I was a kid. Never give that shit to your kids, it will turn them into degenerates. It's literally satanism.

[Anonymous No.7903074]

>>7902748
I thought this one was unsettling yet comfy.

[Anonymous No.7903080]

>>7903019
meant to respond to this >>7902877

[Anonymous No.7903084]

>edgy moinist Biblical fanfic

[Anonymous No.7903087]

>>7902772
>edgy moinist Biblical fanfic

[Anonymous No.7903098]

Klattiklatt drar til Negerland - Thorbjorn Egner

[Anonymous No.7903099]

>>7903049
Damn. I read pic related and instantly fell in love with Joann Sfar. I've started collecting some of his other books and just started reading The Rabbi's Cat in french.

I'm also convinced that I have some sort of mental deficiency. So hey

[Anonymous No.7903109]

>>7903099
Also: Hail Satan

[Anonymous No.7903385]

>>7902849
I'd heard this was quite awful, but this series and Paolini's success gave my mom pride in homeschooling my brother and I.

[Anonymous No.7904357]

>>7902849
The second one of these is what made me realize fantasy is shit and read lit fic exclusively.

Thanks, Christopher Paolini, for writing such a terrible book that it ruined genre writing for me entirely.

[Anonymous No.7904470]

>>7903385
>homeschooled
Ayy, me too. Lost interest in Paolini before the fourth one came out, though. Also pic related is class.

[Anonymous No.7904479]

>>7902770
>>7902780
>>7902799
>>7902807
>>7902825

Based nostalgia tier

[Anonymous No.7904811]

>>7902748

[Anonymous No.7904839]

[Anonymous No.7904845]

The Little Prince

[Anonymous No.7904883]

>>7904845
That one is beautiful... really.

[Anonymous No.7904900]

[Anonymous No.7904928]

>>7902776
Love this cover

[Anonymous No.7904937]

>>7902849
the last one is probably one of the shittiest books I've ever read, and I unironically loved the saga as a kid

[Anonymous No.7904993]

The bartimaeus trilogy.

[Anonymous No.7905038]

>>7902849
>that macaroni-and-glue ending
>dem powerlevels
>stopping the king y doe
>rly y?
>becoming legolas the mage the saga
>still cried as a kid
>ftfy

[Anonymous No.7905116]

What does /lit/ think of this?

I remember enjoying when I was a kid, but then again I also enjoyed Eragon.

[Anonymous No.7905141]

[Anonymous No.7905186]

>>7905141

THIS. I still go back and re-read it every couple years. I also both enjoy and deny the sequels, doublethink style.

[Anonymous No.7905229]

/thread

[Anonymous No.7905251]

>>7905141
when we read this in 6th grade I got triggered every day by retarded kids saying how bad the ending was

[Anonymous No.7905253]

Leif is swarthy

[Anonymous No.7905271]

>>7905141
Is this book an American meme? I'm a foreigner so I don't know anything about this book. Is it some sort of required read in American middle school?

[Anonymous No.7905273]

>>7902825
Good choice.

[Anonymous No.7905278]

>>7905271

Yeah that's exactly it

[Anonymous No.7905317]

[Anonymous No.7905792]

[Anonymous No.7905990]

This series was my childhood. I think I read 14 of them.

[Anonymous No.7905993]

>>7905990
Forgot image.

[Anonymous No.7906017]

>>7902879
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

[Anonymous No.7906023]

>>7902880
heheh

[Anonymous No.7906031]

>>7903036
sheeeit that female vampire is casting some black magicks on my dick desu senpai

[Anonymous No.7906079]

This world is amazing. Particularly the feasts and the otters

[Anonymous No.7906153]

>>7902883
>children's book

[Anonymous No.7906156]

>>7905993
Holy shit, someone else remembers this.

[Anonymous No.7906164]

>>7902748

[Anonymous No.7906166]

>>7902770
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HODjrjb32fU&t=106

[Anonymous No.7906171]

>>7904470
Why was 80s anime so superior?

[Anonymous No.7906176]

>>7906171
It isn't

[Anonymous No.7906180]

>>7906171
I wanna fuck that unicorn

[Anonymous No.7907283]

>>7905317
I fucking love this one, the colors, the design of the monsters... shit I need to re-read it now.
I will read this to my kids some day

[Anonymous No.7907304]

Who used to read this shite?

[(You) No.7907316]

Astrid Lindgren. Especially The Brothers Lionheart and Ronja Robberdaughter or whatever the English title is.

[Anonymous No.7907373]

>>7905993
I had a friend that read these as a kid. She became a furry.

[Anonymous No.7907488]

>>7905792
The only category of which any Wheel of Time book classifies as "elder-god" tier is "Examples of what a novelist ought not to do."

[Anonymous No.7907998]

>>7907304
I used to love cherub, I even read the spin off series, it was like every child fantasys played out.

Spy network, karate, bikers, nationalism, guns, drugs, PG sex etc

Cringeworthy writing, especially so when you realise that a 30 year old bloke is writing shittily and unoriginally about 12 year olds grinding.

Still popped a boner tho

[Anonymous No.7908138]

>>7907373
Thankful I didn't suffer the same fate. I didn't imagine the cats as anthropomorphic.

[Anonymous No.7908311]

[Anonymous No.7908321]

[Anonymous No.7908385]

>tfw you just want to have a child so you can read to them and instill a love of literature

[Anonymous No.7908404]

>>7906164
Wow

[Anonymous No.7908413]

[Anonymous No.7908578]

>>7905141

Been awhile since I had a reason to post this.

[Anonymous No.7909099]

>>7902748
>>7902877
>>7905116

Good.

> Everyone else go home.

[Anonymous No.7909122]

wow, the Harry Potter series isn't mentioned at all. I liked it, y'all can fuck yourselves.

>frog and toad series
>goodnight moon
>owl at home
>the giving tree

those were my favorites when I was a kid. "A wrinkle in time" was a book a lot of my friends were super into when I was in elementary school, but didn't think all that much of.

[Anonymous No.7909130]

This one, this is a good book.

[Anonymous No.7909137]

>>7909122
Yeah I didn't even think about Harry Potter. I guess I'm subconciously trying to repress it with all of the butchering Rowling is committing against it.

[Anonymous No.7909138]

>>7905229
Oh shit, that was great. To be fair it was a compilation of existing stories rather than an actual by a single author, but it actually lead me into being interested in so many things including folklore, literature in general, and horror.

Also, those drawings are pretty infamous at this point. I remember a good portion of them didn't even really seem to connect with the story all that much, and were just odd surrealistic horror scenes.

[Anonymous No.7909145]

>>7909137
Oh, because she couldn't come up with another actually decent/profitable book she's been just milking Harry Potter for everything that it's worth, and this point it's just a dried up husk.

Remember "Dumbledore is gay" jesus christ, nothing in the book implies he is either gay or straight, he works as this wise old man, Rowling saying he's gay just looks like a cash in. And so many other things. Pottermore, fucking Pottermore. Jesus Christ, stop ruining my childhood you bitch.

[Anonymous No.7909174]

>>7909138
Same!

And yeah, the pictures would scare the shit out of me even if the story wasn't all that.

I bought the trilogy recently but all the illustrations were redone by Bret Helquist. (same illustrator for A Series of Unfortunate Events) it definitely lost some of its appeal to me after that.

[Anonymous No.7909254]

>>7907998
>Lauren was only twelve, but her bra had a purpose these days, and her hips had started to widen out so that she was beginning to get a proper woman’s bum.
>Lauren’s mini-skirt was almost like a sign hanging off her butt saying that she was looking for
someone to replace James in her affections.

>Lauren backed off and propped herself on the edge of the paper bedsheet. The room made her skin crawl, as she imagined teenage girls being locked up and forced to have sex with strange men: a quick shower, a squirt of air freshener and a fresh paper sheet before the next customer came in; and your head smashed open on the wash basin if you gave your boss – or rather your owner – any kind of trouble.

>Kerry was shocked. ‘Put the condom down, James, you won’t be needing it.’
>‘Come on,’ James said gently. ‘Why not?’
>Kerry groaned. ‘We’ve had this conversation a million times already. If we have sex before we’re
>sixteen, we’ll both get kicked out of CHERUB.’
>‘Who’s gonna know?’
>‘They’ll know if I get pregnant.’
>‘That’s what this is for,’ James said sarcastically, as he jiggled the condom.

>‘I’m fourteen years old and they’re not a hundred per cent effective.’
>Dana was nearly two years older than Kerry. Taller, bulkier, curvier. She had hair that was kind of crazy because she never combed it, but somehow that made it even sexier. Most importantly, two years older meant that she was much more likely to want to have sex, a prospect that gave James a rush akin to having the Queen’s golden jubilee fireworks going off in his boxers.

>‘Can I touch your tits?’

Jesus christ.

[Anonymous No.7909269]

>>7909145
Actually Dumbledore being gay was one of the most natural and justified instances of "Oh look btw this character is gay lol". It totally fits with the narrative of him and Grendiwald. Grendiwald was incredibly manipulative and bamboozled the super vulnerable and then-impressionable Dumbledore, sad at the death of his parents and feeling that it was unfair that someone of his genius should be forced to take care of his siblings instead of going on adventures, into falling in love with him so that he could control him. Then at the end Dumbledore realized what happened and he was never able to romantically love anyone again.

But all the rhetoric about the characters being racially ambiguous is fucking horseshit lies spewed by Rowling so that she can try to look progressive,

[Anonymous No.7909290]

>>7909122
see>>7908413

[Anonymous No.7909337]

>>7906079
loved this series

[Anonymous No.7909370]

>>7904993
bruuuh loved that shit esp the first one

one of the best uses of footnotes i've come across desu

[Anonymous No.7909749]

>>7905253

my nigga that is like based 1st-3rd grade for scholastic book fair list of shit to buy.

[Anonymous No.7909762]

>>7909269
>racially ambiguous

To be fair I don't give a shit what race the actor is, you can be a Japanese man in fucking medieval scotland for all I care. And black people in the UK are a whole different breed than the hood motherfuckers that act tough here.

[Anonymous No.7909793]

>>7905993
This series got so violent after the fourth book.

[Anonymous No.7909980]

>no one posts the GOAT kids fantasy book in these threads

[Anonymous No.7910202]

[Anonymous No.7910288]

>>7908413
Holy shit the US covers are so bad.

[Anonymous No.7910303]

>>7904357
That fucking ship storyarc. Jesus Christ, I must've skipped hundreds of pages, because Roran wouldn't get off that fucking boat.

[Anonymous No.7910663]

[Anonymous No.7910684]

>>7909254
top kek
I used to read Cherub a lot as well but I don't remember that

On the same note, I read these books when I was a kid and I can't remember them for the life of me. It was a series of 4 books called Anders or something like that (can't find anything on google) and it was about an autistic adolescent who discovered his father was some sort of god on a fantasy land behind some hidden mountains inhabited by people who were half-animal. He falls in love with a 12 year old cat-girl (who has a rat-girl for a sister) and even has sex with her and I remember it describes him stroking her fur afterwards while she purrs. Pretty disturbing but when I was a kid I didn't really think much of it.

The author was German, I think. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

[Anonymous No.7910704]

>>7910684
oh shit I found it
Apparently they weren't translated to English as far as I can tell, I read them in Portuguese

[Anonymous No.7910753]

anyone here read this?

[Anonymous No.7910756]

>>7910753
Hell yeah niqqa

[Anonymous No.7910758]

>>7910663
Yes

[Anonymous No.7910789]

>>7910753
it was great

[Anonymous No.7910832]

>>7902849
It's literally Star Wars tho

[Anonymous No.7910836]

>>7905229
My mom used to love reading scary stories with me.

I am now a weirdo who likes horror. So, it was all good.

[Anonymous No.7910843]

>>7908321
Good book. I like Bradbury in general. I'm gonna try and read Dandelion Wine to my kids if I ever have them.

[Anonymous No.7910847]

>everyone posting some shitty fantasy
>no Moomins
Pic related is a masterpiece.

[Anonymous No.7911134]

[Anonymous No.7911232]

>>7911134
>those titles

[Anonymous No.7911234]

>>7911134
Ayyyyy

[Anonymous No.7911235]

erik the motherfucking viking

[Anonymous No.7911329]

>>7902883

A pile of bloody rabbit carcasses would give a more accurate indication of this book's actual contents. With that cover, it's like they set out to troll potential readers.

[Anonymous No.7911637]

>>7905993
Pretty good action in the later books. Almost makes you forget it's about cats in someone's backyard.

[Anonymous No.7912328]

Anybody else read this? Can't believe how much it got my heart pounding when they found the nuke on the island.

[Anonymous No.7912356]

>>7912328
I think I Lost my copy.

[Anonymous No.7912369]

>>7905116
I think Reeve's series was genuinely good. I certainly massively enjoyed it. Paolini's was not.

[Anonymous No.7912377]

>>7907304
Cherub was fucking gr8 m8.

[Anonymous No.7912406]

Anyone read The Ink Drinkers?

[Anonymous No.7912416]

>>7909254
>this is a children's book

What the fuck is wrong with Brits?

[Anonymous No.7912562]

>>7912328
The original Lost

[Anonymous No.7913900]

[Anonymous No.7913931]

>>7910753
I watched the movie in French class once.