/lit/ - Literature

>>5803483
you might research freud autobiographical works.

>>5803435
the interesting thing about that, though, is that you can practice communism all by yourself by not being a greedy asshole and working hard for the sake of producing value, not just for a reward.

>>5803471
still, so much of it is your perception of the event. how it coincides or goes against your preconceived goal.

>>5801580
bravo!

>>5801648
Probably In the Penal Colony or The Hunger Artist. I also like the one about the guy in the castle.

>>5800759
yes i think it is possible. and the opposite is true too sometimes, you can have a lot of lived experience and yet not be able to write about it well at all. writing is a separate craft from any other, just like oratory or welding. if you practice writing, you can write from any point of view, using your imagination and extrapolating from something you've seen or heard.

>>5800718
hey anon. i read what you wrote, but i'm not sure how to go about critiquing it, because it seems to be a description of your situation at this time in your life. your style is not yet really formed or matured, and you will need to read a lot of stories, literature, poetry and fiction to be able to write really engaging prose. but i think if writing is something you enjoy then you should write every day. it also seems to be helping you make sense of a difficult situation.

I want to read this.

>>5799246

The flowers are blooming
The youth are well dressed
Lute players are crooning
True love is professed
The world is idyllic
Cares they have none
Until war breaks out
And they must go on the run
Despite former good feeling
The enemy strikes
Bombs fall through the ceiling
what sadness and strife
But then the protagonist
And his lovely mate
Find shelter and solace
And make their escape
To America-land
where everything's free
They start a new life
Pawning jewelry

>>5794227
thanks anon. i feel like life is a chess game, and i am playing at a child's level. the problems before me have been played by a master. i can never seem to flank my opponent and get a good combo in.

>>5798983
lol. let me try.

blood on the cobble stone,
a pale young lady dead
her hair was very blonde
and her husband fred
seems to be implicated
in the crime committed
his alibi is diamond plated
but with another he's smitten
the police detective on the case
is bristly and hardened
a moustache upon his face
proof of crimes he hasn't pardoned
he grows weary of his profession
and turns to whisky
as a reader, i have a confession
of this story i'm equally weary.

>>5795012
wait, so did you read man without qualities then? also, what were your thoughts on that book?

>>5798880
you need to write more, is all. you are making excuses. do you like to write? then write. if not, don't. if you merely like the idea of having written, and published something great, then you are enchanted by the fantasy of success. perhaps, then, you ought to write a story about a man who wants to publish a successful and meaningful story, but never gets past writing a page or two, because he is disgusted that every sentence he writes is not the best thing ever written.

>>5798636
nice. lol

>>5798801
seems to be a depiction of hell. looks heavily influenced by drug culture of 60s and 70s... the priest has sideburns. lol.

>>5798019
ideally i think this board should be a source of creative inspiration and cooperation. people should share work, and others should read that work closely and with interest. everyone takes an active role in helping one another improve their grasp on language and eventually some very talented authors will come from this miasma of creativity, and a book will be produced that this community will enjoy, and it won't be a long list of absurdities and obscenities, but actually a story. and thereby, we prove that beauty can be born from chaos.

>>5795675
what exactly is your argument for disparaging Catcher in the Rye? i find it difficult not to find something deep going on in the book. also, have you read any of Salinger's other work? if you understand what he is going after, i think you can appreciate it much more. holden, and his other characters, aren't merely pointless, wandering people. they are on some journey too, and it has to do with a type of religious apotheosis. check out seymour, and his short story teddy, to get an idea of this.

>>5796140
>tyronically
cool, new word for me. thanks.
>that tangled nightmare forest that grows darkly....
this sentence read as a little too wordy for me thought it is poetically nice. i think it could be trimmed down and retain the same effect.
>follow him whither he go
here your language gets a little too flowery for me. "whither" should not be used lightly.
>the pointy eared red eyed shadow man
this image, for me, is a little too played out. i think you could come up with something newer, more creative and engaging.
>the stag
good stuff but underdeveloped. where did you meet this stag after losing the shadow's trail? i think you are leaping from one thing to the next. they are good descriptions, no doubt, but what is holding all this together? i understand it is a dream sequence but, as a reader, i am looking for something more than descriptions of beings. this is not a painting, like a still life, but this is a story which should have depth, movement, forward progress, interaction and such.
>third and fourth paragraph
>i was a scout... ...or so i naively felt
i actually liked what you were doing here. the idea that you were aware that you had entered a land of allegory and metaphor. but why must you become self conscious and feel these things "naively?" i don't think it should be naive. it is quite creative. nothing about the experience in the dream would lead me to think that the narrator's feeling here is naive. it seems spot on, rather.
>the liquid valor spilling from its veins.
liquid valor? isn't that a poetic way of describing alcohol? heh. i think you are trying to describe the glorious nature of the stag's blood, but you missed the mark here.

all in all, a very poetic prose piece and something that has a lot of good, raw descriptions and use of language. however, for my taste, it is over the top in its use of description, and i feel that the excessive descriptive words are masking an underlying lack of story telling depth. OP i think you are more of a painter than a story teller. the descriptions are what you seem to love, but the theme is lacking. is it the destruction of innocence or natural beauty? well then, you will need to connect your beautifully written dream sequence more concretely with your professor and his dexterous and seductive hands. i like the first paragraph a lot, but you need to have something more mundane to use as mortar between all these high flying, flowery fantastical metaphorical beings and locations. i suppose you are really in some sort of dark forest mentally, trying to make some sense of all that your teacher is telling you. well, there's a good start for the story. tie in the lessons from the professor with the narrator's learning to make sense of the fantasy of the forest. after all, if all these forest creatures symbolize ideas, then the mastery of those ideas in waking life should prove, in the dream, to be lethal weapons against their power.

>>5798515
OP, the answer is that the Marxists have a theatrics about them which appeals to the imagination. It is like the uniforms of the Nazis. The uniforms alone inspire an inspiration of imagination, something to focus and dwell on, and it is this - not the philosophy or the ideals - which makes this or that subject fashionable and talked about.

>>5797598
>>5797601
Hey OP. I was really getting into it until it seemed to jump a bit too jerkily into unknown territory. I think the specific place where you lost me was,
>Uncontrollably I began to shovel....
which I was still comortable following (perhaps the narrator was occupying the consciousness of an exploratory robot on a foreign planet through an experimental consciousness-transporting technology) but then it jumped once again, jerkily, to the high rise, a scene which feels totally new and different (which is okay, if only there were a bit more explanation between all these bits so the reader is not forced to sprint alongside you trying to make up a story that is hidden in the text.) Keep working on this story. I like the description of the unfamiliar land and the clockwork device, and I especially like the tension between the narrator and his own control over his body and consciousness. There is an interesting story here that I would be happy to explore once the foundation and corridors and interior and roof and just about everything else are built. I would also say that the first few sentences are a bit short and boring. Rework them.

>>5798136
my pleasure

Fanny Hill. Seriously, check it out. It's a memoir written by a prostitute. I think it was published in England in the 1800's? So it has that kind of writing style.

>>5794167
Hate, while it is low in quality, is high in quantity, and serves to fill the many empty spaces in our lives.

>>5792527
thank you! absolutely true. the last few lines seem as if they were thrown in after the fact, in some attempt to bring modern relevance to a poem that belongs to another time period setting. the charactersare not fleshed out enough, and perhaps free verse isn't the proper method at all for this narrative.