/lit/ - Literature

>>1164984
>to his friend the cop
"That's when you busted in and told me to get on the floor."

Most of the story would be told as if it was being recounted. So if he's talking to the cop, he'd say ":you".

>>1164971
I keep meaning to point it out, but he didn't kill anyone. The story starts en medias res. Then he explains how he got were he is, possibly in second person to his friend the cop.
Or not.

>>1164962
What?

You'll have to forgive me as it's 6am and I'm going to sleep now, but
what?

>>1164831
It's one sentence.
"I stood over the body with my gun all but smoking as I heard the commotion outside the room."
It very quickly tells you that there's a guy, the narrator, and he's just presumably killed a man. Police are now coming to arrest him.
I suppose it could be broken up into "I stood over the body with my gun all but smoking. There was a commotion outside the room, someone coming up the landing."

>>1164796
And in my defense, his name ending up as Juste Belmont was accidental.
I did use the name Juste from Castlevania, but the Belmont part was because it was the first French name that came to mind. He doesn't use that part anyway, though.

>>1164784
>What's with these guys? It's like one of my Japanese animes!
Juste Pascal Daniel Emmerich(-Belmont). Just like one of my Japanese Animes.
>Also, 'my gun all but smoking' makes no sense and I'd consider using 3rd person instead
I like first person, especially for a detective story. It gives the reader the same clues as the narrator.
>Why compare guns?
Because Marc uses the same gun as Juste because Juste taught him. "He's using that gun because of me, and now I'm about to get shot by it"
I should have said "Don't jam" instead of "jam less" though.

Wrote this at work. Wanted to know what /lit/ thinks. Is it a grabbing start to a supernatural detective story? I've never really felt that I've done a good, engaging beginning before.

>I stood over the body with my gun all but smoking as I heard the commotion outside the room. I barely had time to react as the police kicked in the door, my friend and former partner right at the front. The shock on his face was evident even though he tried to remain professional.
>"Drop the gun and get on the floor," he shouted, a revolver like mine in his hand. They jam less. That's why I told him I liked using them. It was trained on my heart, or maybe my head. It was hard to judge with the blood pounding in my ears, making everything shake. "Drop it now, Emmerich!"

>>1144815
Best friend was a cop who smoked a pack a day. Dying of... get this, skin cancer. I try to find a way to save him, and I end up with geists. I know nothing of Geists, and I get someone to get a geist in a coke bottle in the middle of a toxic lake (she got mindraped by an Abyssal creature, but didn't care because treasure chest and she's a greedy whore). I have to make him see ghosts first, and give him the Book of the Dead which makes him go crazy. I forget that I'm wearing a mask that makes me younger, go visit him. He ends up shooting himself, I use the Geist, then he jumps in front of a bus.
Turns out I gave him THE most evil Geist ever, The Hiroshima Shadow. He now wants to move away from Cheyenne and later he ate a gun. He sort of hates me. I think he should stop killing himself, though. It's just making him crazier.

Oh, oh. First case? I did solve that one. Maybe that would make a good short story. Guy goes crazy and kills his wife and kids, tears them apart, walls painted with blood. It was because he went to a small cult church that actually worshiped a ghost that was conning them. Preist got ahold of some artifact squirt bottle that gave the ghost some craziness numina. When I confronted the guy, tore down the fact that he was getting conned, and told him he killed someone, he ended up unraveling and almost became a ghost himself. I stopped that from happening.
A few days later, he Awakened, after everything in his shitty apartment was stolen and he just looked out the window. I ruined his life completely, and also knocked him out and dragged him to the Atheneaum, who then let him go. He's probably going to kill me one day.

>whydoisucksomuch.jpg

>>1144772
>everybody wants to see their character they created do awesome and amazing things
But is that really limited to roleplaying games?
>Which average role-players don't do.
Allow me to troll a bit here
>Average roleplayer
>WoD
But really, I do long story based games, not DnD hackanslashan.
>When I was 12-14
I'm 21... 22 on this Halloween...
>I'd even claim out to be 'shitty' to do amazing thing.
The only thing my character has really done right is save a few people, and in doing so make their lives miserable. His secretary has solved more cases than he has.
Because, at the moment, I cannot think of a single case I've solved... except for the tiny little easy ones, like "take pictures of this guy".
Man, people need to stop getting in trouble around me. How the hell am I supposed to save them all?

>>1144757
I've only had a few dealings with vampires and werewolves with the character.
One was getting some werewolves to move out of a suburban house that was a Locus.

But I have a funny story to tell about selling things. So, level design class, only three of us left. Somehow the subject of furries gets brought up, one guy doesn't know what that is. Teacher logs on to DevArt, and shows him the first things that pop up when you type in anthro.
One of them says "Commission" and he goes on about how this is market research, and that if you wanted to sell a game, you'd make it for these people, and we're all laughing about how shit some of these commissions are.

Man, people will buy anything.
>>1144745
Ah. I would say I hate Lovecraft, but whenever I do that, I black out and wake up with bruises.


Maybe I should ask my ST what I should do.

>>1144326
I absolutely detest fanfiction.
And that brings me back to not knowing what to do anyway.

In fact, that puts me in exactly the same position, because what I'm doing is trying to write fanfiction of my own character. I'd have a character, but no idea of what they should be doing.

>>1144218
I don't get it.

Hey, /lit/, I want to write a magical detective short story, but I can't think of what it should be about. Anyone care to give me a prompt/plot?

I plan to use one of my World of Darkness characters, but strip the World of Darkness part out of it. I can't really seem to think of a case that would work for a short story.
Or one that I've really completed... man, my character is a shitty detective. Shitty Mage, too...

On that note, is it selfreferential and funny if a mage detective has Dresden Files and Harry Potter on his bookshelf, or just stupid?

>>1118606
Isn't an iPad going to cost a lot more? And I dislike supporting Apple on principle of Steve Jobs being a douche. And hating Apple.

>>1118304
>E-ink color displays aren't out yet. Besides, if you're using this to read then color isn't that important.
I do pen and paper roleplaying. I'm just wondering how a Promethean or Savage Worlds book will look on here.
>>1118250
>/tg/ is huuuge, and /fit/ is pretty fast.
>>1118248
>And yes, you can add notations to your book
I was specifically looking for something that would let me write my OWN book... the idea of being able to take perfectly legible notes if I'm out walking or something would have been a huge plus. But I guess I'll just go with what I've got.

I think I'll do a little more research after work and figure out which one I like best.
andthengowiththekindlebecauseitscheaper.

>>1118179
Any sort of note taking application for it?

I really, really want to be able to write notes that aren't just annotations.

>>1118134
Someone already linked it.
I was wondering if the Kindle had the same thing, since it's cheaper. And apparently pretty much the same.

>>1118126
I don't know about >>1118124
But my problem is more that it's difficult to get a stack of books on the bus. In addition to a laptop, a PSP, and clothes I hopefully won't even have to wear (iykwim).

Plus, it seems SO futuristic...

>>1118109
I noticed the annotations were shitty. I was sort of hoping for a straight up Wordpad application.
>(Of course, DON'T use a spiralbound in a Nook cover.)
One of the reasons I really want a digital notepad--other than it saving space--is because SPIRALS COLLAPSE. Every single book I have tears apart any time I try to open the page.

> Once you get the finger-swipe down it's not too bad.
I sat there for about five minutes trying to get the thing to go to another screen, to one of the boxes just off to the edge, poking at the side of it, and pressing the > button.
Guy came by to show me the nook and I think I actually said "Oh shit" when he finger swipped it.
>>1118057
Might get a Kindle, then, on account of being incredibly Jewish when it comes to buying anything ever at all. Does it have a notebook/notepad feature?

>>1118030
Well damn.
What about Apps?

Seems like there's a notepad App, so I'm good to go on that front, but what about other 'games' and other things to pass the time when not reading?
Not that this isn't primarily for reading. I do have a PSP and a laptop for other stuff. I'm just curious, and like to get the most out of digitals.

Bump?

I'm still wondering what else I can do with this thing. Anyone got it? Any good apps?

If the screen isn't backlit, how well can it be read in the dark? Or can it not be read in the dark?

>>1117875
Awesome.

It was 2009, right?

>>1117922
>In b4 Luhrmann's R+J
Love it.
Wish for more like it.