/lit/ - Literature

>>878947

Depends on the author, depends on the subject matter. I actually worked with the Speaker's Bureau, which generally has more academic authors who speak at schools, conventions, lecture series, etc.

Still, any author with a new book should be prepared to spend at least two months on the road doing a tour, from what I've seen.

>>878899

If the author wants to get paid, this is generally a good idea, yeah.

>>878904

He's part of the "literary brat pack" and writes repulsive books like American Psycho. His new book, Imperial Bedrooms, just came out, which was why he was at the office. I think he and his editor were meeting to discuss promotions.

>>878879

You may still be thinking of me? I mean, I work primarily in editorial, but I think I've always been pretty clear that I'm an intern. I mean, "intern" is in my name.

>>878884

Anyone can send in slush. We officially state that we don't accept unsolicited manuscripts, but that doesn't stop people from sending them anyway. Still, you do have to wonder about people who are too fucking lazy to click a spellcheck button before sending in a manuscript to the world's largest English language publisher.

>>878847

Given that I'm only a summer intern, no, I really haven't had that opportunity, but I have handled Pat Conroy's new manuscript (I think it's coming out in fall), and although it had already been accepted, it was still interesting to read. It also gave me a better idea of really what kind of books Random House, or at least the imprint I work at, Knopf, looks for.

>>878791

As it turns out, my reader's report was composed of three words: "NO" in huge, underlined letters, followed by "So pretentious!"

>>878719

Admittedly, that was the greatest "wtfamireading.jpg" moment for me, but still. Wtf was I reading.

Okay, here we go.

So today's manuscript was a book of the author's philosophy, which was anaturalism - namely, that because humans behave differently than any other animal thanks to the existence of an ego, we are an anatural species which is killing the planet anaturally.

Alright, I say. Fair enough. But my God there were so many things wrong with this book.

First: he questioned why philosophy had to be so serious, which, okay, fair enough, but then was godawful boring himself. He also said we shouldn't need to use big fancy words, but then would put in lines like "a wet dream of a perverted cerebrum filled with the phony ejaculate of philosophy. (Freud would love that analogy)."

>hehe i am so clever amirite

Then, he whips out the sucker punch: the third chapter is literally just lines from Genesis. The fourth chapter continues on to explain that he is a Christian, and that has heavily influenced his philosophy - which, again, I'm fine with, except then he say that if the reader is insulted by any of his SWEEPING GENERALIZATIONS it's because Satan. No, really.

Then he does a chapter from the earth's point of view criticizing any remaining readers for being progressive Conservatives or stubborn Liberals, and I'm just sitting there thinking, dude really knows how to make a friend.

Finally, it was full of sloppy mistakes, and was another example of someone not bothering to even take the time to click spellcheck. "Alludes" instead of "eludes", "the sole dual purpose", and the one that makes me rage the most, "must of" instead of "must have."

lrn2English. Then get back to me.

Hey /lit/, it's been a while. Like two or weeks or something, right? Sorry about that. I was moved to publicity for a while, which means no manuscripts, which means nothing you'd be interested in. Now, however, I'm back at editorial, and have fun stories to share.

I'm having dinner in five minutes, so that'll have to wait a bit. In the meantime, I saw Bret Easton Ellis in the office last week. I was good, /lit/. I didn't troll him or anything, even though I really wanted to say "cool stories bro."

His editor was hiding out in my cubicle, waiting for him. "Just pretend I'm supposed to be here. I can't let Bret out of my sight."

Anyway, amusing shitty manuscripts after dinner. See you then, /lit/.

>>821696

I'm glad someone else sort of understands where I'm coming from. I've always been very careful never to include titles or names of the authors from the stuff I read, to protect privacy.

Still, the offer remains to stop doing this if it's offending enough people.

>>821696

I'm glad someone else sort of understands where I'm coming from. I've always been very careful never to include titles or names of the authors from the stuff I read, to protect privacy.

>>821666

If you really are the author, then I'm sorry, but I make a point of putting these things up anonymously so no one can be found/mocked/whatever, for the author's protection. I don't want any author to be seriously harassed, honestly.

>>821673

Same thing to you, white knight, but if people really have an issue, then I'll stop putting things up. It's never been a problem before, but whatever. I don't want to cause shit.

>>821652

No, thankfully it wasn't THAT bad. These are just some selections that were so incomprehensible to me that I pulled them from the text.

>>821629

About 300, give or take. That's about my average for how fast I can read in one day.

Another day, another piece of drivel. Some fun crappy sci-fi for you today. I hope you enjoy this writing style, because I sure didn't.

>Zoe had little faith in computer control, not least because no help was forthcoming from the seemingly stranded Starliner.

wtfamireading.jpg

>For what seemed like forever it felt as if they had halted short of the bay.

wtfamireading.jpg

>Dezza thought to see a jet silver dust puff out as air levels equalized but dismissed it as space debris dislodging from the disturbed plating.

what is this i don't even

>Dust carpeted walls and dulled floors and fitting to a matt almost furred finish.

SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING.

>Drawing a gloved finger across a great wall painting Dezza was delighted when a fine depiction of Neptune started to show through the dust and colours that human eye had not seen for whom knew how long shone out bright and lucid.

. . .

>Underneath the enamel fascia showed yellow with age, but at last was perfectly readable.

feelsbadman.jpg

>The rogue interference abated not at all meanwhile.

No, really. That is the whole sentence.

>Call Zoe and Dezza he must.

cool story, Yoda.

>He had no choice now but to walk the walk of putting his terrors behind him and entering the perilous interior of the Starliner with one of Solitude's three man crew already down and, as far as Tubs knew, about horribly to die

facepalm.jpg

I quit. I'm done with this story. I can't keep reading something written like this.

>>821158

Jim Lee a thousand times.

It's such a shame he doesn't do more. I would be thrilled for another volume illustrated like Hush was, but the only other DC project he has that I know of is All Star Batman and Robin, and that just kind of hurts me inside.

Jim Lee shouldn't have to be associated with The Goddamn Batman.

Pretty much anything by John Gardner.

I especially recommend The Art of Fiction.

>>817810

I am quite fond of Hebrew, if only because I grew up with it (I AM Jewish). It's just such a different language from anything else I've started learning, and being able to read it, even if I don't have a great grasp of the meaning, makes me feel pretty proud.

It's a pretty language to look at, and from a linguistic point of view, a really interesting study. I think the three letter roots are particular neat.

>>817779

French pretty fluently, rough Japanese, and barely-there Hebrew.

>>817750

Oh, I'm interested in Linguistics for the sake of linguistics, if that's what you mean. I'm sorry if that was confusing. I just meant that English is my major and my main study of interest, while Linguistics is something that intrigues me, but doesn't pull out the same amount of passion in me.

>>817731
>>817736

I'm minoring in Linguistics, but I took Intro and was really interested. It's more a supplement to my English major, I guess, but I think the subject is fascinating.

Good luck with jobs though, bro.

>>817665

Not really? Not yet at least. One story had a character who did, but that was, in my mind, an acceptable and believable part of his characterization, so I didn't have an issue with it.

>>817672

If I could do this, this would be the stamp I would use.

>>817660

Yeah, I kind of figured that was the case. This manuscript had all the marks of someone who did absolutely no research at all on the places he was describing. At one point, an English character said a Southern (U.S.) colloquialism, and I was like, "excuse me wat."

Then I looked at the address of the sender. It was from Virginia. ohu.jpg

I'm trying to make it more often weekly - whenever I get a truly bad one, really - but it's a little harder now since I'm only doing editorial work Monday-Wednesday. Thursday and Friday I've been shifted to the Speaker's Bureau, where I'm updating their website and maintaining the facebook and twitter pages, so that's a severe cut into what would otherwise be shitty manuscript time.

>>817643

For the record, they may call themselves writers, but no one else does.

We at the office call them lunatics.

>>817619

It wasn't so much that that was the first conclusion that they came, as much as it was that it was the ONLY conclusion they could possibly imagine.

But also, yeah. Fundamentalist terrorists totally hang out in London waiting for little American girls to kidnap and bring to Libya.

wait wat.