/vr/ - Retro Games

>>2568104
Anything on the big screen relating to videogames is always a pile of shit. This should not surprise you.

But this one was special, it felt soulless and the only reason for its existence was to cash in... I feel like films such as the Mario Bros movie and the Mortal Kombat movie at least had some effort.

>>2568116
That's an Adam Sandler movie for ya

you had the choice of not going to see it

>>2568126
that's the shitty thing at this point. it used to be that something could bomb if people didn't go to watch it. but anymore we're looking at not just domestic but international sales; they're not having to worry about a great deal of operating cost releasing it worldwide so they can recover the cost even if it doesn't make money at home. then you're looking at a sequel.

>>2568109
Not sure if it counts but... WarGames is a minor classic in my book.

>>2568104
no shit...?

>>2568109
I didn't find Wreck-It Ralph all too remarkable, but it was at least a competent film...

I have my date Friday night the choice between this knowing it was going to be hilariously bad and Paper Towns. She chose Paper Towns and was disappointed anyway.

>>2568184
that one wasn't terrible. it was like >>2568176 serviceable without being cringe. like the last starfighter, it you count videogames being loosely linked to the premise as counting.

>>2568198
*if

>>2568104
It involves jews so of course it is a disgrace.

>>2568104
ITT: people reading reviews instead of pirating a screener or something

>>2568265
>I can't smell a turd unless it's under my nose

>>2568289
Thanks for proving my point. People are using the internet the wrong way. Use it to learn facts such as why you are not seeing real yellow on your monitor. Use it to discover more about your hobby. Other people's opinions should not matter but your own.

It was really, really bad.
It had more references to old games than you'd expect though, I'll give it that. I expected to see ONLY Pacman, Donkey Kong, Galaga, etc.

>>2568104


Adam Sandler actually ripped off an episode of Futurama, an expected it to work.

It never stood a chance because the key demographic (teens) don't give a shit aobut 30-year-old games.

>>2568289
You're the guy who wrote a review about the excessive QTEs in DmC, aren't you?

>>2568348
What? I don't even recognize those acronyms.

>>2568398
Quick time events. In the Devil may Cry remake.

>>2568306
I don't understand why people think the yellow thing is remarkable in any sense if they always understood how a screen works, and if they didn't then the fact it shows any colors at all should be just as impressive. What makes yellow different from any other color beyond black, white, or pure R/G/B? It's all the same exact principle. The things some people find entertaining

>>2568716
Memesauce did a video about it and the shits that eat up his popsci drivel spew it everywhere they go

>>2568337
That's why Hot Topic and Spencer's are dedicated to NES belt buckles and "Know Your Roots" t-shirts. Pretend all you like, but teens are appropriating "your" retro gaming.

>>2568104
It was never intended to be a loving tribute to retro gaming. Perhaps you should not go in expecting your precious games to be treated with breathless reverence everywhere any time it's brought up.

>>2568728
It's also the fact that Adam Sandler and Kevin James are in it and that is not "film" enough for their well-crafted exquisite tastes in the world of cinema and art.

Mediocre movie by the way, better than I expected though I wasn't expecting anything good. Worth having the sleepover weekend using your parents money renting it at the Blockbuster along with an 80's arcade compilation playing it while waiting for the pizza to arrive :^)

>>2568756
I highly doubt there would be a film that satisfies them. It'd either be "Hollywood trash that doesn't understand what it's working with" or "pretentious hipster shit."

What did you expect? It's an Adam Sandler movie. The 2010 video it's based off is way better.

>>2568348
Everything is a quicktime event if you believe hard enough.

What's bizarre is how much Happy Madison's other film Grandma's Boy got right with the gaming industry and how much Pixels got wrong

Today's Mario gamers have to check their privilege because they were created on the backs of asians slaving away at ancient computers. All Mario games are racist and Nintendo is created on racism.

>>2568727
The kinds of teens you're describing would disgust me since they'd probably just be using old games as a tool to achieve popularity and cool points for being "cultured" and not-mainstream.

Videogame movie tiers:

God tier: nothing

Great tier: MK

Good Tier: Silent Hill+ Wreck it Ralph

Decent Tier: Resident Evil

Bad but Watchable Tier:SMB + Resident Evil 2

Shit Tier: MK2+ The rest of the Resident Evil movies+ Street Fighter

Uwe Boll Tier: Uwe Boll movies
.
.
.
.90001

Sandler Tier: Pixels haven't seen it but being a Sandler film that's not made in the 90s, I can already tell it's quality

>>2569156
>Great tier: MK
I wouldn't place it that high, but it was surprisingly good. Not much of a plot to speak of and wooden acting, but the fight scenes were either pretty well-choreographed or unironically funny. Rented it for a bad movie night and was un/pleasantly surprised to find out it didn't actually suck.

>>2569156
Prince of Persia can go into good tier.

>>2568104
Video game culture is generally shit so I don't know what exactly you were expecting from a shitty comedy that panders to people with entry level knowledge about video games.

>>2569156
>Resident Evil movies
>anything but total shit

How can you stand a series that's just the director shoving his wife in his shitty RE fanfic?

>>2569176
MK Is a guilty pleasure of mine although it really is starting to show its age. It was way better in '95 trust me. I think it also gets put higher up on pedestal since literally 90% of all other videogame movies have been utter shit.

>>2569198
Forgot about that one! Noted.

>>2569156
Street Fighter should be in god tier, that movie was one of the best comedies I've ever seen.

>>2569156
>MK Annihilation
>not transcendentally-terrible tier
It's a hilarious movie

>>2569216
The first was decent. The 2nd was watchable but started straying off into cheesezombie hookers. Watched the 3rd then I stopped bothering with them all together after that. Complete fucking trash.

>>2569230
Yeah.... I did think about adding The Street Fighter Animated Movie under good tier but decided against adding cartoons to the list.

>>2568337
>Adam Sandler actually ripped off an episode of Futurama
Adam Sandler didn't rip off shit, if you think he writes his own material you have no idea how movies get made.

>>2568162
>then you're looking at a sequel.
Why do shitty movies get you so rustled? Crap like this is so off my radar, and should be off yours too. Get a bullshit detector, kiddo.

>>2568124
Click was good.

>>2568306
If it looks like yellow, then it's yellow. Stop being pedantic.

>>2569304
i disagree

>>2569304
It was just a bad knockoff of It's a Wonderful Life.

>>2569198

This

It was like Pirates with less water and a badass knife throwin' nigger

>>2569304
half the movie was good, until they decide to shoehorn a forced poignant message in it

the whole movie is just a part of a futuroma episode . season 3 episode 18 "anthology of interest 2" which had 3 shorts in it , its the second short raiders of the lost arcade in which aliens use retro video games to wage war on earth .

hollywood has goten to lazy

>>2569503
Sorry, but Futurama did not invent video game references.

>>2569503
>goten to lazy
The irony.

>>2569156
MK was actually surpingly not shit for a videogame movie. Not perfect, but definitively one of the better attempts.
I'd honestly put the SF movie under it, for while it was dumb, and in some ways convoluted, it was at least decently entertaining to watch.

Some might say that Raul Julia wasted his last time alive on this movie, but honestly, I think he chewed the scenery in ways nobody else could have, and with a schlocky flick like this, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Tell me, could you have imagined anyone else delivering lines such as "Game... OVER!" and "To me, it was but a tuesday." and not have hated it? To me, nobody else had the right voice, the right face, the right mannerisms, to play such a hammy villain in such a campy movie. He fit the tone of that movie better than anyone else in the cast. I don't even hate Van Damme as Guile, I mean, how many times has Arnold played an American with a very conspicious Austrian accent? Almost every movie he's done, and I can honestly deal with that if the rest of the movie is just fun enough (don't get me wrong here though, I'm not saying that Van Damme can be compared to Arnold, he simply doesn't have the same kind of charm and personality).

It's a dumb movie, and it doesn't have a proper grasp on it's source material, but you do have some fun watching it.

In the same vein, I'd almost say that MK has a grasp on it's source material, in that the games never quite fully took themselves seriously, but the absence of any real gore is an argument against this, as near comedic levels of excess gore is one of the hallmarks of the series.

>>2569567
The word "definitively" is not the same thing as the word "definitely", you know.

>>2569567
*its

>>2569567
>Raul Julia wasted his last time alive
On the other hand he spent some time in Thailand, wouldn't call that wasted. But yeah, dude was sick with cancer and still wanted to perform his own stunts.

>>2569156
Bottom Tier: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

>>2569567
>>2569594
>>2569609
>>2569701
Considering he picked up the role because his family loved Street Fighter 2 I'm sure he had a good time even if the movie was bad.

>>2568109
Not EVERY game based film is bad.

>>2569594
Sorry, I was on my phone, I kinda use spellcheck as a crutch and I turned it off on my phone because the way it works there is shit.

I do tend to get 'definitely' an 'definitively' mixed up, but that's also probably because in my language, the word for the latter means both, sort of.

I think DOOM movie wasn't bad. Though it really reeks of DOOM 3, which is not retro.

>>2569156
>street fighter
>not god-tier
between the camp, humor, and decent costumes and sets, ot launches way above every other shitty vidya movie. Zangief is the best adapted character in movies.
also Silent Hill (all of them) are sandler tier.

>>2569285
>Adam Sandler didn't rip off shit, if you think he writes his own material you have no idea how movies get made.
Adam Sandler's production company ripped off an episode of Futurama, happy now?

>>2570025
That recent movie where he played an ad-executive was a bigger gyp honestly.
Not because it was a terrible movie, but because how he basically swindled the fuck out of his investors and crammed the movie full with advertising (since his character worked in advertising this was the justification).

Even if the movie bombed (I don't remember if it did or not), he made hundreds of millions of dollars on the advertising deals alone.

I like his old movies, and I believe he actually has a kind of talent, but it's clear he realized that he could game the system, and that he's milking it for all it's worth.

>>2570057
The cobbler?

Yeah, it bombed and I heard it was shit too.

>>2570057
>liking unfunny jewman movies

>>2570062
Nah, the advertising one was Jack & Jill, that was the whole setup involving Al Pacino doing a Dinkins Donut commercial. The Cobbler wasn't even properly released to theaters, just screened for critics.

Alright, /vr/.

You've been hired to write a movie based off retro video games, with very little other instructions. Your studio has a limited but not horrible budget.

What do you do?

>>2570105
He might make bulks of shit movies, but I cannot legit hate on Happy Gilmore or Little Nicky.

>>2570119
Hire comedic writers and people who know a thing or two about retro video games.

>>2570119
record a swedish faggot playing minecraft for 90 minutes

>>2570119
Lo-Fi, Wuxia film based off of Castlevania. Gothic horror setting and camerawork mixed with Dynasty Warriors like fight scenes.

>>2568126
He might have been of the hispanic persuasion.

Pixels bombed harder than the ET video game for Atari.

>>2570309
Wow, that REALLY bombed! That was epic, you're really speaking Our Retro Gamers' language 8-)

>>2570329
Exactly.

Now why didn't anyone tell this to Sandler?

>>2568606
>retro