/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

And here we fucking go. One sappy emotional message leads into the next and off we fucking goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I've been trying to nail down what about 2022 change from 2021. Where did the magic go? And after a bit I realized everything changed after Needy Streamer Overload.

For context, I spent all of 2020-2021 deeply in love with a few EN members, spending 1000's on them. I was that guy who sent "I would of died without you" and I thought I was being completely sincere. I didn't realize how much I just wanted to be noticed, given a few seconds of attention from anyone, I was so damn lonely.

I was still a KFP when Reine debuted but the huge difference in how they treated "Love". I was addicted to hearing Kiara say "I love you" something she did dozens of times a stream. Strait up addicted to the whatever chemicals my brain pumps out when I FEEL it for real. And boy did I feel it, for the first time in 30 years I felt loved.
But Reine really help get back into loving vTubers. Her dorkiness made me like her but it wasn't love like I felt before. Maybe I was too bitter for it, but I still felt the magic and still was able to donate knowing I want to support the streamer. But Needy Streamer Overlord was just the last straw.

I could tell myself Reine isn't like K angel, she won't treat us like this, she isn't like that, we aren't numbers, she won't exploit us, she cares abou- wait no she doesn't, and she shouldn't. So if we aren't friends what am I even doing? Why did I feel so emotionally invested? And I couldn't put the Genie back in the bottle, it's always at the back of my mind whenever I see any emotional super chats. Anton M spilling his guts about being proud he is getting his degree in a 500 dollar super chat, you know he isn't spending that on a girlfriend... I feel bad for him every time I see that now.

Sorry for the Wall of text, I've been sober for 24 hours and it shows. I'm like a twitchy little goblin of misery and self reflection.