/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>41874301

>>5262955

I know nobody cares or reads this shit. I'm just dumping it here because I have no where else. Someday I'll put these thoughts into order and write a letter to her.

I tried to do what kaichou did and moved to Japan after school to fulfill my stupid weeb dream despite knowing barely any Japanese but ended up being a friendless nisei gaijin working a dead end office job at a shitty company. It took a couple years and suicide attempts for me to realize I was being delusional and went back to my home country to give up and move on.

When I first learned about kaichou background it genuinely inspired me to try again because she was the first person I ever saw with a similar background to me who actually did their reps and made it through sheer force of will. During the year I've been watching her I picked up my Japanese reps, got a good job somehow and started lifting and making BIG PLANS. The knowledge that some awkward asian-american girl from Georgia was going to perform at Budokan gave me some actual hope for my own life for the first time ever.

It hurts a lot to see someone who worked way harder than myself and succeeded get dragged down through no fault of her own. I don't know what to do now but I can only pray that her future endeavors are even more successful. Coco is my idol in the original definition of the word; someone I admire and want to become more like.