/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>17375354
i'm an unironic cuckbeat

>>17375354
Sorry, but I only confess to pope Gura.

>>17375354
All of these girls are going to graduate one day, and liking them is ultra cucked. We are all cucks, not just the deadbeats.

>>17375354
I've done some real shit.
Just now I told my indie oshi that she should take it easy in the beginning of the month because her health is usually bad. She said thanks but we both know that's when she menstruates.
I also cockblocked all the groomers by saying she can't trust me and that hardcore fans are usually stalkers. It devolved into a 30 minute talk about Vtubers-related rrats after which she her innocence and faith.
If I can't groom her then no one can.

>>17375354
vt has introduced me to 2 vtubers that i really enjoy

>>17375870
thanks for ruining everything

>>17375354
I'm only 2021 and I already have white hair.

>>17377135
*I'm only 21
I hate autocorrection on phones so fucking much.

I was actually considering giving non-jps a chance.
I'm sorry. I'll work on my nihongo reps as penance.

>>17377135
lolibaba anonchaama!

>>17377135
That's not a sin. That's genetics.

>>17377330
I'm unironically feeling like some old dude right now, my hair falls a lot, all of my body hurts, maybe my parents lied about my age all along.

>>17377535
>hair falls a lot
>all of my body hurts
You should get a medical checkup, it could be an actual issue.

I'm really into ugly bastard. My dream is a gangbang!

I'm married and still enjoy watching chuubas for fun and social interaction through chat and twitter.

>>17377634
I probably should since last time i had one was 2 years ago on the start of 2020, so i might have some serious illness and not even know about it.

>>17377899
If nothing else it's good for peace of mind.

>>17375354
I make fun and shitposting the Cuckbeats and Mori any chances i can get. But deep down i just want to push the Cuckbeats so that they at least try to "fix" their Oshi and her retard behaviour. I honestly don't want to see another situation when a senpai must watch their kouhai graduated before them. I also don't want Mori to become a second "Wolf Warrior" that turn back and bite Hololive in the near future, seeing that she clearly only used Hololive as her stepping stone for influence and connection in the industry, she didn't care about Hololive.

>>17377974
It probably isn't anything serious (at least i hope so)

I'm hurt because my oshi praised an Indonesian for writing weeb words in romaji but she never once complimented my Japanese.
She must know I'm a foreigner by now. I have the vocabulary but I definitely don't phrase things in a natural way.

>>17377535
Are you perhaps a clone of Big Boss?

>>17378198
I will continue posting Cuckbeats meme on here, but i genuinely wish that she will learn and eventually change. I wish there will be a day when i post a picture of "funi crying skeleton", a Deadbeat will said to my face that "stfu faggot schizo, Mori had change, she no longer awkward when collab and are more active to collab with the in-house than ever, and she genuinely have fun with them and not just sound like someone reading an acting scripts, so take your med"

(I hope that Deadbeat will have a better English than mine,lmao)

>>17375354
I fucking hate NijiEN for bringing women and faggots /here/

>>17378430
The cell deterioration is finally catching up to me.

>>17375354
I'm stuck in a yearly cycle of being a manic, barely functional, weed addled mess all spring and summer then switching to being calm, sober, happy and productive over winter. It's like I have some kind of reverse seasonal affective disorder and I'm fucking sick of not being able to relax or sleep properly for half a year without drugging myself

i took out huge student loans that were cosigned by my family so i wouldnt have to work and can go to school full time while having my apt paid for but instead of going to classes or doing homework i watch vtubers all day and im failing everything i am completely fucked if i dont turn things around immediately but i dont even know where to start

>>17378245
THOSE GODDAMN, SEANIGGERS

>>17378821
Yeah, you can always tell it's them, when they're complaining about things that are normal /here/.

>>17380713
Start by cleaning your room. A dirty room breeds a diseased mind.

>>17381372
My place is clean, I haven't lived in filth since I moved out of my parents' house. It's one of the few things I don't struggle to do since I find it calming while I'm doing it

>>17381372
my room is pretty organized except for extra furniture in the corner, the bathroom and kitchen on the other hand.....

>>17376401
>I saved her from the savior ags
Or maybe I'm in a destructive mood because I have a hundred and one issues in my house that I own and I'm still in denial that I'll never move to Japan and marry my oshi and be happy for once.
Maybe that's why I scarred her and made her ungroomable.

>>17375354
I think Inari is cuter than Fubuki.

I don't like Fubuki's streams anymore.

>>17382454
Why not anon?

Reminder that Fubuki and Marine will never mock islam or shinto like they do to Christianity.

>>17382454
the fuck did that magikarp do to you?
answer my question from that other thread fag

>>17375354
[Spoiler]I got diarrhea once, and shit my pants because my oshi's stream went on too long, and I did not want to stop watching.[/spoiler]

i've done everything I could to improve posting about my oshi for more than a year, but now one of her friends has started bringing in an undesirable audience to the threads and it's undoing a lot of the progress I thought >we'd made. i feel like giving up often but i just love my oshi too much.

I got diarrhea once, and shit my pants because my oshi's stream went on too long, and I did not want to stop watching.

>>17384515
Oh everyone knows anon

I have yet to masturbate to any vtuber. I find the ones I really like fun and attractive but never felt the urge to jerk it to one.

>>17385417
that can be arranged
https://nhentai.net/g/315532/
https://nhentai.net/g/374811/
https://nhentai.net/g/361811/

>>17375354
Sister fubuki... I'm unironically in love with haachama, and madly so.
I know there's nothing beyond those feelings but I just can't help it, I'm 21 and I've had a nice handful of relationships but they all failed because I was neglectful, the women I dated made me feel bored to no end to the point hwree I went multiple weeks without seeing or talking to some, while keeping it to a minimum with those that tried to keep on touch no matter what but in the end it all failed.
I see my friend calling and texting their significant others all the time and I'm just surprised at how they manage to do that, I could NEVER do something like that even though I understand how important communication is, bust I just can't do it... Or so I thought at least, the days where I don't listen to chammers' voice feel so long, and whenever I watch her streams time just fucking flies by and that's when I came to the realization that I want to talk and listen to haachama everyday, those feelings stacked up more and more the more I watched her and I simply ended up falling in love with her.
I will not take my meds and I will never stop loving her.

>>17375354
i haven't committed any sins

I only come to /hlgg/ for the survey posts

>>17377535
those are the lethal stage symptoms of radiation poisoning.

>>17385561
>posting the absolute trashiest ones including the popular Shion rape-blackmail
I guess it's just my opinion but I prefer these and would rather recommend these to a first-time nutter:
(Noel) = 324899
(All Marine past this point from diff. artists, not just Mizuryu Kei) = 344555, 351802, 351923

>>17375354
I said ogey to my mom once without thinking and now she says it all the time

>>17385988
well I tried to appeal to 4chan sensibilities, but I have a lot of different interests. maybe you'd like some of these: 386903 383661 371947 389711
anyways the marine ones are gonna keep me occupied, cheers anon

>>17386360
I can save her...

>>17386459
fair enough, this has been a productive exchange for the both of us.
>haven't even glanced at the numbers you actually sent though

>>17386680
feel free to share your thoughts once you're done

>>17386854
ayep, still technically on-topic because I'm gonna confess sins I've done.
I glanced at most of those >>17386459
I only seriously read the 1st one and it's good. the rest I just glance at the gallery previews.

thoughts:
2nd = "oh, waterring's art from twitter actually has some minor plot tied to it? already saw a lot of these so I appreciate the good art atleast"
3rd = "coco looks like a male here, skip"
4th = "I used to think I'm unity but I won't open Vshojo. if it was solo Nyanners I wouldn't be opposed"

>>17387517
as to yours i'd already seen two of the marine ones, so I tried 351802 and didn't manage to last till the end. 10/10

>spoiler
she's got a few solo doujins but they're not on nhen and not that good. some of her best lewds are on danb, I especially love the eichan piece and the nekololisama animation. unity love

>>17387517
oh and the coco one has a funny twist ending, you can at least check that

>>17377459
So is being bald, but people will make fun of hairlets endlessly

>>17388789
Lol are you really bald?

>>17388858
Bad receding hairline because shit Slav genes so I shave it because it's less embarassing

>>17388877
I'm sorry that it feels embarrassing. Shaved is a cool look at least

>>17375354
i used to like IRyS. sorry

I tune in to streams to listen to anime girls talk, sing, and interact with eachother. None of them are good enough at any game I care about on a competitive level that I would actually watch them for gameplay + I think watching people play vidya is generally boring as shit so I usually just put on a 2nd monitor while I work or play vidya that don't engage me that much. Since I don't actually care about the game, I vastly prefer them to play something like Minecraft that doesn't require much concentration so that they're more engaged with talking to chat than playing something where they actually have to focus it. If they're almost entirely focused on gameplay then I'll usually leave after 5-10 minutes due to boredom.

>>17388913
It's whatever. I'd prefer to have hair since my head shape is kinda fucky, but I'm tall & decently muscular so I'm at least passable looking

>>17375354
I despise alot of this board, i come here because its one of the few places I can openly talk about my love of vtubers but its also fucking disgusting how many people spend their fucking time day in and day out posting things just to get responses because they literally do not get the attention they crave anywhere else in their life, and the people that respond are no better since they fuel the attention these retards crave so much. SEVEN of the first 20 threads on this board are people doing this and getting responses what a fucking terrible place outside of general threads.

>>17386459
>389711
>[#/vt/ translations]
bros i didn't know we do translations, let aloen vshojo translations

I made a rough script to find youtube users in common between two streams using comments.
I haven't used it yet but the thought is to triangulate my oshi's other account using streamers she said she watched pre-debut.

>>17389416
Do you use filters? They might help you, sorting by creation date is good too

>>17385171
What was it? Is not in the archives for some reason

Fubuki is next

Bump

>>17375354
This is hard for me to confess but, I actually unironically forget about some holo members until they collab with the girls I watch. I know, i know. It's blasphemy, especially among holofags.

>>17391453
I might start using them i used to just sift through the garbage for years across boards but damn i might just be getting too old for the bullshit

I called some anons cuckbeats sistematically, while Mori being my 2nd favorite chuuba. I was even banned for posting the infamous Mori getting railed by Connor

>>17398519
it's okay anon. Projecting is a common tactic. everyone on vt does it. your sin has been forgiven.
imagine me attaching a picture of Sister-Fubuki here because I'm too lazy to do it

>>17375354
I've began watching nijien recently. It's alright.

>>17400076
based unity. watch whoever you like anon. set yourself free from tribalism and be enlightened. you are allowed to hate anyone as well, even friends of your oshi..

I've began watching some VShojo girls lately. They're alright.

>>17400485
>priest is unable to comment about this due to personal bias, just refer to this instead >>17400196

I learned an enough gimp yesterday to make a Gosling image for my oshi because she's /here/ and I think would find it funny, but even though some of her other consistent viewers have Gosling profile pics and use Gosling as a verb I'm still wondering if I should just avoid posting it anywhere but here because I don't want to be a containment breaking retard.

>>17375354
I've been slacking on my kanji practice...

Bump

>>17404050
You should pirate Adobe CS6 and learn photoshop instead.
There should still be active torrents.

>>17375354
i have no real sins, oddly enough

>>17375354
I want to get into the hypothetical Holostars EN not only because I think I would do a good job at it, but also because it would increase my chances of getting a Japanese visa sponsorship and meeting my oshi.

I'm the guy in my oshi's chat commenting things that are difficult to respond to because I want to push her and test her limits PR-wise to find out where her breaking point is. She always responds to them, and avoids the landmines like crazy, and it just makes me want to do it even more.

>>17375354
I want to do horrible, disgusting, sexual things with Friend.

i only come to /vt/ for drama gossip talk

>>17375354
I have been isolating myself socially for years and feel like my mind can't keep up with it anymore. The crave for copium has gone through the roof over the course of last year and made me realize how much I crave social interaction with people I can hang out with, aren't super obnoxious and are chill with the things I'm into. But considering I'm now a wagecuck and entering the age where people start to settle and create families, I don't see this happening anytime soon. I've missed the last train and now all I can hope is becoming a chuuba myself and create a community of people who like what I do.

At the same time I also feel how the loneliness has been messing with my head and my sexual fantasies too. I unironically crave dick like crazy now and fantasize about getting railed real good some anon while being dressed up as their oshi, to forget this emptiness just for a night, feel closeness, warmth, desire and comfort. At this rate it's just a matter of time until I toss myself into the crowd for real on some event like a convention or carnival to find someone who can fulfil the duty for me...

>>17389416
I feel the same way but never say it because that would attract those kinds of people like flies to shit.

>>17375354
I'm a Twitterfag. I sometimes see tweets with hot takes about vtubing from people I follow and then I'll copy-paste them and create bait threads on /vt/

Here's one example:
https://twitter.com/cthuhlurisen/status/1487248627428904963
https://archive.nyafuu.org/vt/thread/17313545/#q17313545

>>17421520
I'm in my 30's and having cut ties with any irl friends I had the only people I talk to are two internet friends. One isn't even a weeb and the other only posts on /jp/ and hates vtubers. I blog my life at them while still not being able to discuss what I spend most of my day watching. Pretty much given up ever discussing chuubas outside of this board even when I feel at least 80% of the posters here need to be permanently purged from the website.

>>17424565
Shameless self plug

I find unicorns annoying but ever since the anti-unicorn gang came in and ended up being more annoying I started longing for the days when unicorns were my only annoyance.

>>17424565
There's no sin here, you are based

>>17424565
>hot takes
>literally the lukewarmest normal unhinged take i have ever seen
damn..

>>17421520
I feel similarly anon. I have never dated & am fast approaching my late 20's. I have no real life friends withing 900 miles of me. I started watching 2views just to talk to people besides my online friends who I've felt myself growing distant from since this whole Covid mess started since with work & other responsibilities I can't find many opportunities to go meet new people. I'm tried online dating to find something through that, but women just aren't into me at all. I used to meet people through anime cons, but Covid fucked all that up & at this point I'm mortified of having to initiate conversations with people.

>>17375354
I have done about 9 cumtributes of /here/ chuubas because I wanted them to see them

>>17375354
I'm jealous of my oshi's paypigs

>>17429843
that's hot by vt standards.

>>17375354
I have fapped to my oshi's roomate twice, she's not even hot or cute.

>>17375354
My oshi's roommate deleted his streams at the beginning of the year, which made me enter panic mode and downloaded all of his covers on YouTube with Streamable as a preventive measure in case he decided to purge those too. My paranoia was useful for once since he deleted a bunch of his covers a couple of days ago and I'm currently in the process of backing up his Niconico stuff as well. Shit hurts.

I moved to Texas as an adult after moving around a lot of the Midwest until I finished college. I have been considering hiring a vocal coach to try learning the accent and becoming a cowboy themed vtuber.

>>17445219
You are doing God's work anon. I'm also backuping all videos and covers of my oshi's roomate in case she has a menhera spurt and decides to nuke everything. I just love hearing her voice. Beautiful stuff like that should never get lost.

>>17421520
I can totally understand you anon. I stopped talking with all my friends a couple of years ago due to some familiar issues that prevented me to hanging out too often with them, now they are all settling and creating families and while I'm still stuck on the same hobbies we shared together 5 years ago.
Now that everyone is working from home I don't even see my coworkers either.
All my social interactions comes from the internet, and specifically /vt/

I wish I could met someone that would at least pretend to love me and that's good enough at lying for me to believe it and love them back. I don't care if it's all a bluff as long as I believe is true and it makes me happy.

If it makes you feel better I'd be willing to fuck an anon in cosplay or a kigurumi, and I'm probably not the only one, so you definitely can make it, and you have nothing to loose becoming a chuuba, worst case scenario is you don't like it, and you can just drop it and the try again with another avatar later.

>>17386360
>>17386492
>one day, enough people will blurt out ogey and have it repeated by someone else for it to replace okay

I thought I could get over losing Pippa but it seems I can't make it.
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, watching her might have been why I didn't kill myself last december, but it really seems like I need a new oshi.

>>17445219
Who's your oshi?

>>17449431
What happened to her anon?

>>17375354
I get turned in by the thought my oshi accidentally pissing herself, and crying because of it.

The only kiss I've gotten in the last 6 years was from a passing crossplayer who thinks I'm handsome while most women I have tried flirting with are disgusted by my appearance (and judging by my lack of success on dating apps, seems like it isn't a "personality" thing). I'm wondering if I should just accept that only men find me good looking and just accept that even though I'm mostly attracted to women, some random weeb twink is the best I can realistically even hope for.

>>17449431
I understand your pain, anon. Is too easy to fall for her but she's broken beyond our repair

>>17375354
I'm a yumejo, fujoshi, and cuck

>>17375560
This, but I am desperate and it's weighing on my mind.
>>17375354
I took the bait more than a single time.

>>17450278
A friend told me once that I should try dating guys because I'd probably have better luck with them, but the only way I could see myself getting attracted to one is that he really looked like a woman, and I haver never met one that does.

>>17450414
that fucking sucks

I have sexual thoughts about my blood related aunt. I need to get out of her house asap

I have a huge inferiority complex over my older brother.
From an outsider's perspective I look like a NEET right now, mooching off him, but we actually bought the house 50/50 and he's repaying me a 15% because I had to lend him money to get us to 50/50 on the paperwork.
But he has a future. He as less money right now because he went for education but he will eventually repay me and then grow to have more wealth than me.

>>17375354
I thought Mori was, a long time ago, my oshi.

>>17456405
Better late than never.

>>17449597
If you've been following him as a chuuba you should know that he's struggled with depression before debuting which could explain his roommate's recent tweet and the sudden deletion of half of his YouTube covers without any warning. At least those videos are still on his Niconico account and that is why I'm backing everything up, there aren't that many anyway.

>>17456405
Same for like the first 3 months, lucky me Suisei came in and opened my eye

I am cheating on my oshi.

>>17454098
Think about it this way anon, you paid half of the house and even gave him more money. He wouldn't be were he is if it wasn't thanks to you.

>>17375354
I haven't watched any Fubuki videos since she made the monthly ASMR members-only. I felt betrayed by that. The worst part is that I used to be a member.
I hate how a big part of Hololive boils down to mindless consumerism. At least some Holos are more focused on working on songs or stuff like that, but all the collabs with <meaningless Japanese brand> feel empty to me. Same with the merch, most of it is just not good merch.
I feel like in general Hololive is getting bigger but "things" are getting worse. It's probably because I have the mental illness of feeling diluted when the number of fans increases.
I'm very suspicious of the metaverse thing they are currently building.
I sometimes think about the fact that the vtubers I like will end up with someone one day and it won't be me and it tears me to pieces.

>>17421520
If you had any friends from before try to reach out to them, I saw a friend that I hadn't seen from 7 years the other day and it was like just two weeks passed. Also, be aware that having more friends won't fill the lack of love

>>17404050
>gimp
Based freedom lover

>>17454098
How are you making money right now and what is he studying?

>>17458033
I know, and he's very thankful, but it's my ego.

>>17458289
He's done already, he's a software developer.
I worked my body. We're not that young anymore.
Also we moved to the countryside.

4 months ago I was arrested and my friends no longer talk to me. I have since replaced my friends with 2views who are happy to see when I comment in chat, sometimes play games with fans and don't know about my felony.

Life isn't better but it's good

>>17375354
I helped cause the /jp/hlg/ thread to turn into the state it's in and don't regret it.

I met an apparent super cute girl on Tinder (first match in ages). We get along, have similar tastes but she's a bit hard to talk to because she has some depression and issues. She also lives like 5 streets away from home. Finally meet her, she's 5 times the size of her pics, feel betrayed, meeting ruined. Haven't talked to her since that day, feel bad for thinking it was my strike of luck and find someone again, go back to watching vtubers while I loathe myself

>>17375354
I only come here to mock HoloEN, Calliope especially, even though I only watch JP talent both in and out of Hololive.

>>17459740
Keep seeing her, and when you feel she's already into you to want to go out with you anywhere you want casually mention you want to do some exercise because you haven't since lockdowns started, ask her if she would go jogging with you. If she agress you have found a good one, and you have chances of slimming her down a little. If she disagress she's too lazy (which in my opinion is a red flag for the relationship), and you will have to become an architect.

i draw mspaint shitposts in my oshi's split and seethe endlessly when i see them on twitter
i pretend i'm above the drama but i'm secretly lurking every mori yab thread because its hilarious
i really, really, really want to fuck the doog despite never watching her

>>17460138
No, he shouldn't do that, you can't save people. They have to save themselves. And depressed fat women are terrible at doing just that.

>>17460634
>implying he would be doing it for her and not for himself

>>17460138
I don't feel like doing that, she's constantly being angry or "sad" because she has depression and is on pills and bla bla bla but I'm sad too (without pills) and it feels to me like she just wants to cry and do nothing about herself, I am super shy and I pushed hard to see her or even talk to her so that is no excuse to always be in a fucking corner and complaining.

Also she got super defensive when I mentioned that my best friend has pictures where she doesn't look like the real thing, and now I know why. To be honest, as much as we have a lot of things in common I can't take care of a person that will drag me down to her depression, lies with pictures and doesn't do shit to improve:
I just assumed that with the face I have there's no much I can do to get someone to know me and I'll just need to deal with it

>>17461082
Understandable then. Yeah, if she doesn't want to put any effort then she's not worth it at all.

Ever since I found my oshi I have exclusively masturbated to her because it would feel like cheating if I ever fapped to someone else.
At the same time I feel bad for masturbating to her, thinking that Im just objectifying her and it's been getting worse because I am unironically and hopelessly in love with her personality

I shitpost about Loserbait even though I have nothing against him.

>>17375354
i keep telling people im studying moon runes because i like the food and want to read the menus
>just got annoyed about translators taking forever and want to read hentai that nobody translates
also i havent opened any form of translation or do any jp studies in 2 years other than picking up things very very fucking slow from anime and hololive (karaoke) streams

I have genuinely no clue what gosling means. I get the whole ryan gosling subculture, but what does it mean as a verb? Being sad? That one scene from blade runner where he's talking to the massive ad girl? I do notto andastand

>>17463297
You will understand it when you feel it.

>>17389416
t.cuckbeat

>>17461564
We can tell.

>>17460634
Depressed fat women on anti-depressants truly are the worst.

>>17461252
That's the thing that sucks, 90% of people don't want to put in any effort into anything, they just tacitly accept it since things just work out for them no matter what or they're too defeatist to care that they arent

>>17467210
i feel called out but agree with you

>>17467210
That's why I didn't want to try more with this woman. I've put some effort to fix my abysmal self-esteem and I'm trying to fix my traumas and improve the way I see stuff, even if everyone around me has a partner and I've been without one since 2016. Not sure if It'll work in the end but at least I'm trying, something that this girl won't even do

captcha: H0RR0

>>17468038
That's what's up anon. You've got the right idea about things.

>>17449860
some tweets of her surfaced where she was supporting globohomo, one of her previous reincarnations claimed to be nonbin*ry, and she couldn't sing don't be rama rama for shit despite claiming jim as her oshi.

>>17450391
I know and I wish I could help her but it seems like I need someone to hold me until I can be the type of person that can help someone.
In the meantime, I should forget about her but I still can't.

I guess I could always pray for her.

As lonely as I feel and as much as I bitch & moan about bot having a gf & using vtubers to cope, I've only met 3 or 4 women in real life who actually were enjoyable to be around and who I think would be worth dating. I've had matches on dating apps, but I did my education, career, and fitness reps. I just don't see any point in dating a girl who is older than me, makes 1/2 my income (when I'm underpaid already), isn't very attractive, and just isn't fun for me to talk to.

>>17459489
Why were you arrested?

i lied to someone in a position of power to further my own interests and got away with it
this isn't like me and I hate myself for it

I haven't watched my oshi in a month and I've made new friends and done better at school but I miss my oshi

>>17468584
>I just don't see any point in dating a girl who is older than me
someone needs to visit /hag/

I thought Mori antis were nuts at first but now I think she's just a plain unpleasant and immature cunt and I don't want her near my oshi.

>>17468560
You can do it anon, I believe. Plus there is no way you are more menhera than Pippa, you can help her.

>>17468560
people can change, anon. it's alright to have a shitty past.
t. nyacolyte.

>>17472175
I'm fine with older women on their own, but if a girl is older than me she should at least have her life semi-figured out. Aren't women supposed to he more mature than men?

Oh boy, I have it pretty bad I don't even know how I got like this. My obsession with my oshi has grown to the point that I may have become a stalker. I've done things that I wouldn't be comfortable confessing anonymously on an image board about for fear of retribution. I sleep in 1 hour increments every-night so as to not miss a guerrilla stream or be able to promptly like a tweet. I archive every bit of content my oshi has ever produced, and I also archive things like chat logs for every stream. I also go to extreme lengths to make her feel loved and supported. I have over 20 remote servers I connect to in every stream to help bolster the numbers, several of which are logged into accounts that I've established detailed identities and personalities for. I've lost myself in the characters I play I don't even remember which of them is the real me anymore, and I can't tell which one my oshi likes the best. Most of my free income is spent on art, and original content for my oshi. This month I sent her over 5,000 dollars. I had to take out a loan just to pay my mortgage and bills last month. I fear I may be fired from my job soon as I can't even focus anymore. This only scratches the surface of the things I'd like to confess, but again, there are certain things I can't say for fear of reprisal. Maybe if she ever decides to graduate I'll post my story before killing myself as a final testament to my deep love for my oshi.

I want to kill myself because I am an idiot

I will never forgive myself for quitting college. I feel like an idiot for struggling with every class (I never turned in my homework because I forgot). I have had this same thought drilled into my mind for an hour. It has gotten so bad that I might consider suicide. I cannot forgive myself for being less than average. No one pities the weak or stupid.

>>17479807
>No one pities the weak or stupid.
the left does
tranny discords might be your only escape

>>17375354
I'm sorry friend I did the manga edit of Oga cucking you.

>>17479949
I do not wish to be weak or pitiful anymore, but sometimes it's hard to control my mind. I want nothing to do with people who will drag me down further into a worse position or mindset.

Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with my oshi and why she was up at 4h30AM putting hearts on comments.

>>17479807
Become physically strong at the very least, it's not that hard especially since standards are lower than ever.
Just effort over time.

>>17480041
You mean Oga fucking someone else than friend? Fubuki x Oga is probably the best ship.

>>17480918
if I was you I'd either do a flip or try to think of a revolutionary game or software idea to solo dev. it's an option that's worked for quite a few who dropped formal education.

>>17375354
I have like 5 different oshis that I watch religiosly, but never once I have paid for a membership or sc.

>>17479807
It's never too late to go back, anon.

I think I'm being groomed by my small corpo oshi & I've accepted that it's the closest I'll ever get to being loved by a woman

>>17474153
I don't know in all honesty.
I've spent about 15 years doing nothing and just when I was going to start really working hard, this lockdown shit started and drained all hope for the future and motivation I had left. That's why I was saying that I needed someone or something else to keep me afloat before I try to help her.
Besides, I might be too transparent to be able to infiltrate her social circles and ungroom her.

>>17474905
>spoiler
Ew, don't touch me.

>>17482334
just trying to help..

>>17482466
it's joke

>>17482861
oh.

>>17481550
Honestly you can make a pretty mediocre porn game these days on RPG Maker and still rake in some decent patreon passive income. I've considered doing this.

>>17481106
This

>>17375354
no

>>17483513
Fucking koreans.

>>17482208
Set a firm limit for how much you're going to donate a month.

>>17479374
Tell us the creepy stuff faggot

>>17425299
I've also cut ties with my former friend circle years ago. Although we've made a fair share of memories together I started to feel really uncomfortable being around them. I figured the only things we shared was playing league together and drinking, but most of them stopped playing while I sunk into ranked hell during my neet lifestyle years. I also lost interest in heavy drinking whereas they became much more active and went out every week, which I couldn't afford either due to not working on the side next to failing uni. Being around them meant I had to supress myself and keep my interests hidden since they were not interested or actively shitting on it, when such things came up. There's also some political shit included, but I'd rather not elaborate there for obvious reasons...

The only exception is my childhood friend who was also part of the circle and still is, unlike me. We occasionally still play games together, but things have died down a bit the last 1-2 years due to responsibilities on both ends. When we played some league again recently for fun, we also talked about our lifes and I could sense that he must also feel a bit lonely since he was so hyped to play again and wanted to get the others back into the game too. He even immediately offered me to live in a flat next to his' on the other side of the country after I told him I'm done with my apprenticeship programm and started working. >>17458220
Might go and visit him again once I have time since he's an alright person and watches some anime too although unaware of vtubers I assume.

>>17430361
>I have never dated & am fast approaching my late 20's.
I'm basically in the same boat. Total outsider in high school, unkempt & unpopular, isolated during uni years and too busy with work now. And next thing you know 10 years have flown past without even holding hands once, let alone a real kiss. And I'm not sure how I would feel about online dating. Wouldn't even say I'm ugly andI take care of my outer appearance nowadays. But inside I still feel shallow and rotten. Detached from my enviroment due to lack of normalfag culture, and yet also not good enough for nerds since I've neglected my reps too. I wouldn't even know how to come across as appealing from a character perspective and have escaped from this by saying I'm concentrating on doing my career reps.

>>17447492
>All my social interactions comes from the internet, and specifically /vt/
The internet is a blessing and curse alike I feel. It's great to have an alternative to find people close to your own, but also gives you openings to develop a dependancy, especially when you're not super good a socializing in first place and found a reliable source for social interaction.

cont.

>>17447492
>If it makes you feel better I'd be willing to fuck an anon in cosplay or a kigurumi, and I'm probably not the only one
Desperation does weird things to your brain, huh. But I would be lying if I said sharing a mutual feeling and watching the pent up frustration unleash through acts of pure lust isn't kind of hot. Hell, even the thought of pleasing some poor loner and making him my bitch turns me on quite a bit.

>you have nothing to loose becoming a chuuba, worst case scenario is you don't like it,
You're probably right on this one. Once I have moved to a new flat with decent internet, I'll probably just jump straight into it as a PNGtuber, see if I like it and then gradually improve my setup. This way I can see for my self early on if it's an option for me or just wishful dreaming. All without spending thousands for everything right away.

>>17447492
Stop masturbating and go to the gym

>>17479374
Who is your oshi?

Fubuki's burden is getting heavier and heavier each hour

>>17490128
We have another felony, and this time it's convicted so probably not the drunk rape anon.
Fubuki wasn't ready for this.

I met a few girls through datings apps this week and ghosted them after a few messages because I realized that my oshi makes me way happier than they ever could

>>17491166
>drunk rape anon
Wut

bros..............

I haven't kept up any of my New Year's resolutions.

>>17375354
I just pissed my pants watching my oshi's stream. I just could not hold it any longer.

Anytime I find a vtuber I really like /vt/ hates them.

I didn't expect that I would ask /vt/ about something like this, but more than confessing a sin I have a problem and I'm desperate about asking someone

I've been keeping track on a bunch of pedos online for at least two months, and I discovered that someone I know was suspicious and had ties with them. After gathering concrete proof of incriminating behavior, I confronted him and he admitted he's a pedo

However, he said to not wanting to harm kids and he just wanted to see what other pedos (who are pro-contact) were doing. Should I leave him alone, expose him, or just cut all ties to him? Regardless, I'm keeping the proof of him being a pedophile

>>17504054
I'd report them to the cops ASAP. Genuine pedos are scum.

>>17504054
Expose. “Just wanted to see what they were doing but I’d never do it myself!” is a lame excuse

>>17389416
Welcome newfag. Back to the hugbox with you.

>>17375354
I don't want my oshi to be my oshi anymore. I like other chuubas more, I watch other chuubas more, but I don't want to formally drop her as my oshi out of some dumb, non-existant commitment. Like she was there first, I can't just throw her away when she's done nothing wrong. That wouldn't be right.

>>17375354
Last night I streamed Journey 3 times back to back while fantasizing about kissing IRyS

This shitty game has made me disappoint in myself because
I waste so much time in /vt/ and base so much of my happiness on seeing vtubers I like. I am addicted to the internet but have no real life friends or idea how to make them so I feel stuck here.

I stalked Gura and i'm ready to make a move. Will steal her phone and sucker punch her in the face

>>17509666
Good luck Satan

>>17491166
Anon fucking answer my doubts >>17492309. What do you mean by what you said?

>>17504054
Depends are up over exaggerating a lolicon or is it someone with irl pedo shit?

Lolicon = do nothing.
Real pedo = give the FBI a tip, and hope they look into him.

>>17509666
When you go for it let me know so I can swoop in save her, and become her hero.

>>17461512
I have the opposite problem (?). It's very hard for me to masturbate to my two oshis, but I have zero problems with masturbating to other chuubas.

>>17461512
I haven't masturbated to my oshi yet, but only because there isn't any good lewd art of her.

>>17375354
I'm a tourist from /v/
Someone made a thread there about the drama surrounding the pink-haired girl, so I came to learn more about it.
It's amazing how civil this place is compared to /v/

>>17518810
That's not a very high bar to clear. Things here are far from civil.

>>17514927
An anon raped a drunk girl at a party, why?
Actually got banned when he first confessed

>>17375354
I've become what i hated the most. I never watch streams anymore, only the occasional clips if they're interesting. I uses to save unarchived streams but now i dont even bother. It seems like a waste to drop vtubers as a hobby after spending nearly 2 years in it

>>17519900
Because the last thread I asked about a post that was deleted even in the archives. Someone replied to him with a Fubuki image but I couldn't find the post anywhere, I was extremely curious. Wish I could've seen the post

>>17520799
No, that was a couple threads ago.
The deleted post you're talking about was just a typo. Stop thinking about it.

>>17521213
Why wasn't it in the archives then? The reaction image was a Fubuki worried and an "Anon...?" as reply. Makes sense to me

>>17375354
I know what my oshi (2views) look like because she sometimes comes eat to my workplace but I can't and won't talk to her I don't find her attractive a all

>>17518810
why would anyone on /v/ make a thread about the Mori drama in the first place?
>spoiler
/v/ must be an utter shitshow then, this board has plenty of shitflinging even on a calm day and it hasn't been a calm day in a while

>>17521959
To make /v/tards seethe. They really hate vtubers

>>17524162
holy based

>>17375354
I laughed at mori at a low point for her
I've derailed /hlgg/ a few times
I've masturbated to roommate images I actually feel real shame for this one.
oh I just dropped my 3rd oshi like a week ago.

I don't think I can get angry at my oshi.
She's said very hurtful things about NEETs and virgins, but all the resentment I had melted away after seeing her face and silly laugh.
It makes me ask myself how I would react if she introduced a boyfriend on stream.

>>17525622
Have you considered suicide, pathetic cuck enabler-kun?

>>17526811
Often

>>17514927

>>17518810
>spoiler
yeah thats because the BBC propaganda parade doesnt deem this place worthy of shilling in
most of the time
and jannies actually no life lurk and delete stuff here sometimes too trigger happy in doing so if it triggers their autistic devotion to their oshi

good job jannies but still fuck you

>>17375354
I am deathly afraid of my parents finding out I watch vtubers. I put a passcode on all of my devices and I change the channel whenever I watch vtubers on the TV and I hear them coming. They're hardcore normalfags who hate internet culture and want me to be married by 25.

>>17530546
>want me to be married by 25
how old are you now?

>>17530836
22 years old and still retarded.

My coffee addiction is spiraling out of control and I think my relatives are planning an intervention.
Which is indicative of how bad it is because I live alone.
I just like that feeling, like my heart is about to stop.

>>17530169
I still wish I was a nigger with a huge dick and be called Chocoball by my oshi.

>>17530546
>married at 25
>in this economy where its going to take you 10+ years to buy a house without a wife or a kid or your own mouth to feed
smile and wave kowalski
smile and wave

>>17530546
It's stupid to marry so early if you're a male.

If you're a female, lmao

>>17375354
I want to become a trap babiniku vtuber

>>17525622
>She's said very hurtful things about NEETs and virgins
Literally nothing wrong with being a virgin. Knvah

I make terrible jokes in Japanese that makes my 2view oshi cringe internally.
For example, いつか流鴨になりたい

>>17532507
what would be the joke there?

>>17532598
i think it might just be lulrandum

>>17375354
I helped start the recent Unicorn Hate threads. And I don't regret it. I just want you to know.

>>17532598
It looks like I'm saying I would like to be fluent, but I switched one kanji for duck. If someone wasn't speed reading, they'd see my ambition to become a flowing duck.
流暢流鴨

bump

>>17532655
Thank you for your service.

I dislike the term unity because the default should not be acting like a shitflinging retard when presented when something you dont like or dont have an interest in. It's nothing new for this place but its tiring because it does seep into generals too.

I'm watching an English vtuber doing a language learning stream.

bump

I'm tearing myself apart from contractions after another.
For example I hate gachikois but I wag my tail around my oshi. I tell her she should never meet people offline but I just want to move to Japan and meet her "accidentally".
I hate myself

>>17543844
>I tell her she should never meet people offline but I just want to move to Japan and meet her "accidentally".
this one isn't bad, the first is about strangers, you aren't a stranger to you so its fine. Also unless by "accidentally" you mean "I'm going to stalk and narrow down the location of my oshi so i can move somewhere close" you're just fantasising about randomly meeting your oshi. That is common enough.

However your shit about gachis is either a genuine contradiction in which just accept you're in love with your oshi and either live with it or move on; or you're confusing gachikoi for something else like a unicorn or some other nebulous pejorative because you probably *are* a gachikoi.

i pretend to have something to contribute to threads even when i dont as a form of bumping a thread i didnt even create just so i dont see it get sent to the archive and have to add it to my thread watcher again

I falseflag as a viewer of ID holos.

>>17546943
same desu

>>17375354
I commission nsfw art of niche 2 views from underpaid 3rd world artists, but don't have the guts to share it in any meaningful fashion.

>>17553971
Share it /here/, unless she lurks

I used to geniuely enjoy watching Hololive, now with the dramas and the bullshit, i can't just watch them anymore.

I even wanted to make a holo videogame, but now i don't even have to motivation to do it

i 2view for 2 chuubas who are male and are bi fags and am totally into one of them

>>17560276
Get out of /vt/ and enjoy. There's no bullshit outside. Most of the time it's heavily exaggerated

>>17560276
No one outside of /here/ cares about any of this. It earnestly doesn't matter if you don't let it infect your brain.

>>17530546
Muslim?

>>17530546
I used to be like this until I was kicked out and forced to get a shitty job and live in a shitty studio apartment. As much as I always hated working the freedom to watch whatever I wanted without worrying about the volume of my headphones and constantly looking over my shoulder did wonders for my sanity.

>>17390465
if you end up using it, please make a follow up.

I keep ghosting my friends for months to do my reps in order to understand random japanese women pretending to be anime girls flirting with each other.

>>17566886
Damn, how long do you spend on your jp reps every day?

>>17569059
Depends on the day but I try to do no less than 4 hours daily. Whenever I am not focused on active studying (making new cards, writing journal entries, creating transcripts from JP subbed clips, etc) I am just immersing myself in Japanese media for hours on end. I'm obsessed.

I always try to gauge the abilities of different vtubers to make sure I'm better than them. I try to find the best holo at a specific skill and grind until I'm better than them. I think I do it as an attempt to protect my massive, very fragile ego.

I've been texting to some chubby Asian chick I met & it made me realize how fucking terrible I am at conversations I am if I can't talk about vidya, anime, vtubers, or sports.

>>17574693
She might just not be a good conversationalist, there’s a lot of people out there that don’t do much to keep the conversation flowing.

Bump

>>17573546
It's still alright if you're sticking to holos, but consider the following:
https://youtube.com/channel/UCzkwiov0OShlyRPdzwf0Xrg/about

>>17508198
ive been here on this site longer than you, it wasnt always this fucking shit.

>>17560390
Are you female?

>>17504054 (me)
>>17507299
>>17507980
>>17517291
Fucking shit, things got out of control /vt/

I exposed the pedophile, then I got an informant (someone I also know) and we started talking in private. Apparently, there's a chance of reporting the guy to the authorities because he exchanged nudes on Discord with one or two teenagers (15-16 years old) and he also admitted to diddling a kid when younger (the guy is currently 22)

What's the problem? The informant is one of the teenagers and doesn't want me to reveal it for the following reason: they also have skeletons in the closet. Apparently the teen comes from a family where pedophilia runs rampant and they're a CSA victim, but the cycle of abuse kicked in (child rape, exchanging nudes with other minors, watching CP)

The thing is: the teen told the older pedo about all of this in Discord and Twitter, and it's likely that the teen will get in trouble if I use the proof they gave me. The poor kid doesn't want to continue the cycle of abuse, but their life would be ruined if their crimes are revealed

What can I do /vt/? I want to put the guy behind bars but to do so I'll also have to put some teen in jail. I want to keep the teen anonymous, but they'll probably get investigated regardless

>>17583557
Let's be honest if it will ruin her life it may not be worth it seeing how pedo tend to get slaps on the wrist most the time. Don't think I've seen one get more than 10-15 years unless the kidnapped/killed a kid

>>17583968
Probably, I'm reconsidering if it's worth it. I can at least get rid of the pedo online if I'm able to gather some people who I actually trust, but I don't want the girl to suffer since she clearly regrets her worst actions, had a hard life and wants to kill herself because she fears becoming a full blown child molester

I also confess that I got extremely blackpilled by her: not only she told me her entire past of trauma caused by pedophilia, she's also been friends with the pedo and they've been discussing for some time their sexual fantasies

I'm becoming insane, I've been mindbroken by the multiple layers of pedophilia I found. Once I clear my mind about this one issue, I don't want anything to do with pedophiles for a while

>>17584918
He will probably kill you when he get out of the prison. Or at least try. good luck with that keyboard justicer,

>>17585133
T-thanks anon, Godspeed
The motherfucker is Mexican, and I'm South American. Pedochama will not find me soon

>>17585590
Like the other anon said, 10-15 years in jail is a long time for one to think of who fucked them over and how to find them. I for one am rooting against you since you aren't police and are only doing this to feed your own morals needs. Hope the worst gets to you, goodbye.

>>17585590
If you are worried, you should report it anonymously. If they ask for your identification or some shit on the police or wherever you have to go, tell them to suck a dick

>>17377535
Do you hang around junkyards or industrial waste deposits?

>>17375354
I can only see Sana as a leech

>>17584918
Maybe keep digging, and see if you can find someone else he did a no-no with, and see if they would be more willing to help, but now knowing he is in Mexico is the age of consent in Mexico not 12? There might not be anything you can do.

>>17565535
Well, it werks, but still has some issues. I'm checking one log against another when I should be checking a bunch against each others. Also printing unicode characters doesn't really work.
So far I managed to find one random Japanese guy.
Here is the script if you want to see, but gotta warn you, I'm a math major dropout who picks fruits for a living https://pastebin.com/wd1R4V4G

>>17583557
If you don't do anything they will keep harming more and more kids.
They are using that kid as a shield telling them they will ruin their life to keep doing that.
Just do it. You not doing it will bring more pain and victims into the world

My confession is I don't know how to stop concernfagging. I keep it in my head but it's almost every stream of worrying over my oshi even though I see no one voicing my worries, not even on egosurf-proof mentions

I was so desperate I ended up jacking off to Amano Nene's new costume reveal, good lord that outfit is just too amazing. Those breasts are heaven incarnate

I was already horny enough for her default outfit but this new one just made me ascend

For the love of anything please someone make good porn of this woman already

>>17589654
I think I narrowed it down, but my head is tearing itself apart.
One is a dead end, but it's sticking with me, something she said 5 months ago, could also be a coincidence.
The other one has google reviews for a small city and nothing else. I've sent her a marshmallow saying I'd like to go to [name of city] to gauge her reaction.

>>17583370
no

>>17381372
Go do some more drugs, JP

>>17583557
wait so lemme get this right
>you talked to the fbi
>they gave you an informant
>the informant is one of the teens in the chat lurking as a fed
>the informant has CSA ptsd, but is also a pedo fishing for their own stuff to keep in the chat
>informant spilled *some* beans to pedo mc gee

>>17594460
open your bussy and accept your fate then

>>17375354
I created a tulpa of my oshi

>>17599379
only if _he got a bit fit since they admitted to being a bit overweight
untill then ima drool over the vocal range they can do

bump

>>17600422
What's wrong with that? You're wasting Sister Fubuki's time.

>>17600787
This is me listening to Takayan

>>17375354
I respond to random posts with things like ">he doesn't know" only to make them confused and possibly spend time looking for information that doesn't exist. It's the best when people respond begging to know what they're missing out on. I do this on multiple boards.

>>17609820
You are beyond salvation

>>17375354
What I like from vtubers are their virtual avatars. I didn't watch any streamers before vtuber exist. I hate human faces, but I don't hate human voices in general, so vtuber actually alleviate my problem with people. People should start wearing paper bag with their name written on it or tokusatsu masks.

>>17375354
I fell in love with a male vtuber and got actually angry when he was collabing with some girl chuuba and after people began to ship them togheter

>>17609820
I'm glad I never fall for this shit. You demon

>>17609820
oh we also admitting our bait in here?

i make up bullshit on the spot to lead anons down rabbit holes that dont exist
inlcuding telling them to check archives for proof (which there is none) and refuse to link any myself in the name of gatekeeping and keeping secrets

i managed to convince an anon on /v/ once who was having troubles even loading the sad panda and convinced him the site was kill and that everyone switched to a private backup in 2018
he spent atleast 4 hours begging and googling shit before it page 10'd

>>17613975
>he spent atleast 4 hours begging and googling shit before it page 10'd
How the fuck

>>17614052
he REALLY wanted some crossdressing ntr hentai
i ghosted his begging and am honestly surprised some fuck didnt join in and ruin it for me

the key to good bait is to establish your not going to spoon feed them and that your going to gatekeep BEFORE they ask for help

>>17613975
>i managed to convince an anon on /v/ once who was having troubles even loading the sad panda and convinced him the site was kill and that everyone switched to a private backup in 2018
he spent atleast 4 hours begging and googling shit before it page 10'd
I'm laughing but I'm also concerned that your brain works like this, anon

I want to be noticed by my oshi, but I'm a wagie too burned out after work to do anything productive. I'd love to make fanart or something but I'm too useless to contribute to her in any way besides simping.

>>17614806
its never to late to get learnt anon

>>17484208
>It's great to have an alternative to find people close to your own
It is indeed, the best friendships I've had started through the internet, and while it has been awesome, and has given me a lot of happyness, it also means that all those friends live far away, some times even in other countries or continets, so I also know that if something bad happens, they won't be able to be by my side, and I won't be able to be by theirs either. And that "real" contact is definitely something humans need.
>watching the pent up frustration unleash through acts of pure lust isn't kind of hot
It's hot indeed, and it obviously a big part of it comes from pent up sexual frustration, but like you mentioned, I think there's also a deeper layer to it. Sharing those feelings with someone means they understand you, and will probably treat you in the way you want to be treated, because that's how he want's to be treated too. That mutual understanding is what in my opinion makes friendships work after all, and what we also look for in a romatic relationship, but fail to find most of the time. Put that together with the chance to satisfy your lust and sounds like a relationship that could fullfill you in every way you want. Conclusion: You better start doing your reps on my oshi so you can impersonate her properly.
>I'll probably just jump straight into it as a PNGtuber, see if I like it and then gradually improve my setup
Yeah, don't invest any money on it until you are 100% sure you enjoy what you are doing. Also, don't think on the numbers or for networking at first either, the friends willl come by themselves eventually. You need to focus on finding out if you are having fun, because if you are not, then you will feel that even the friends you can make are not worth the effort, but if you are, you won't feel like you are putting extra effort on it at all.
Who you may eventually find some anon her that is doing his art and live2D reps and i willing to help you with a model if you decided to go into this for real later on.

>>17485866
Jokes on you I already go to the gym, and I feel worst when I don't masturbate.

>>17614806
Try to think of a way you can contribute, there has to be something.
For example I am grinding 3D/blender because I have no affinity for drawing (my drawings are soulless).
I want to render some 3D art that she could use for thumbnails and eventually make one of those 3D chibi avatar that's popular on VRchat for bargain 3D streams.

>>17524770
>I've masturbated to roommate images I actually feel real shame for this one.
I have done it too, I guess is not different than fapping to any other celebrity, so yes, you will regret and you will feel embarrassed about it because you feel stupid for doing it, but in the end you are not doing her any harm, and she will never find out either. At this point any chuuba that had her roomate found is aware of how much of a public figure they are, and are definitely aware that there is people are jacking off to them, so is not something that would surprise them or scandalize them.

I got into an argument again with my oshi. I just can't get along with people, not even anime girls.
But I am so tired of being alone. I talk to less than 3 persons a day.

>>17442052
Gura?

>>17623331
Excuse you, you son of a bitch?

>>17623331
No, she's a JP

>>17375354
I started watching Mumei ever since I found out she changed her look from her original model. She looks so much more like Loli now and I now find her cute as fuck. I wish Irys would get the same treatment and get her shitty model replaced too. She's also someone I want to watch but I keep getting filtered by it.

>>17609820
The last time someone did this me, two days later I returned thanking him for helping me crack the code, expressing I put another ten hours in followed by the craziest schizo vagueposting shit I could come up with. Sent other anons into "wait what happened what happened" mode, to which I only responded "If you know, you know"

I'm supposed to translate something but I've had basically no free time at all for over a week and I feel bad for not translating it quickly

>>17375354
im a soldier for the us army who was sent to Afghanistan to help with the HKIA evacs in august. i was with my infantry platoon and our job was to prevent the refugees from storming the FLS like fucking maniacs. there was this kid in the crowd who kept pointing at this gura doll i bought off of etsy. I thought fuck it and let him have it,kid was fucking estatic and was happy,despite how fucking tense the situation was,and i thought id made a new chumbud.

kid ended up shot dead when a riot broke out in the crowd,and Ive been having nightmares about it at least once a week since we got back.
whats the easiest way to kill yourself painlessly?

>>17421520
What convention do you want to go to anon? NYC? Acen? Anime Expo? I suffer from periods of loneliness anon, so having someone to play some MC or Apex would be fun

Right now I am suffering from crippling debt of 10k, no friends, about to drop out from uni even though I have a year to go. Only good thing is that I have a job that pays okay that getting out of debt isn't impossible as long as my living situation doesn't take a turn.

>>17620693
I tried learning drawing, but after work everything I read/practice just goes in one ear & out of the other.

>>17629490
Fake
True us army soldier in Afghanistan would have shot the kid himself

>>17375354
I just calliope mori'd in my pants.

>>17434065
I am also a well known viewer from the indie western vtuber threads