/wg/ - Writing General - Aiba Edition

[Anonymous No.]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. Check the archives below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!

Collective works so far are available in the archive:
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction, eh?
Yes.
Previous thread:>>16133483

[Anonymous No.]

Story Anchor.
Post 'em if you got 'em.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you have a story like you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

[Anonymous No.]

>>16343132
Mumei kidnaps you and forces you to breed with unwilling victims Bae and FBK to spawn more baebies and potential demigods as part of her very unethical scientific experiments.
Possibly a subplot about selling the videotapes.
Eternally grateful to whoever decides to pick this up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16343132
Haachama trying to steal Matsuri’s little brother away from her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15851080
I gave up on it because:
>felt too cringy
>felt too bad
>i really don't know pekora
Is anyone interested in seeing it and laugh at bad writing?

[Anonymous No.]

>>16347100
no

[Anonymous No.]

>>16347125
Understandable, have a nice day

[Anonymous No.]

>>16347100
Dude you should’ve just posted it anyway, even if you thought it was bad.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16347346
Unreasonable, may disease and misery befall your rat bloodline, retroactively and actively.
https://pastebin.com/4B7S2usC
Burns in 2 weeks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16347100
>>16347499
you're right on all 3 counts

[Anonymous No.]

>>16347499
There were a few problems like the switch between first and second person every now and then, the fast pacing and the grammar which I feel could’ve been fixed with some editing. Pekora also... yeah. Just didn’t seem like Pekora but then again it was a very short story so we didn’t get to see much of her. On the plus side a couple of jokes like the duolingo or gongaga one landed for me and you did a good job at really making Anon seem like a calculating stalker.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16347499
I mean it's not bad, there's a tense use trouble in that you seem to not have settled on whether to use 1st or 2nd person. Besides that the narration is pretty on point and the conversation does have a nice tense quality that I would like to have see more of.
It's honestly not that bad, especially given that you seem to be new at this.
Honestly I think you're being too harsh on yourself. Though I think you asking the thread was a mistake since you really should have written about a chuuba you actually know about like your oshi. I can tell that a story like this is made or broken on the dialogue so you really should pick someone you're comfortable about writing about rather than going with the whim of the thread.

[Anonymous No.]

I already posted this one in /∞/ but I don’t see much Council here, so why not? No sex in it, just some fluff with a bit of yandere clock deciding you and the Kirin are too close for her liking. Phoneposted as per usual, enjoy anons (feedback welcome as always, I did change it slightly from the original version too)

https://rentry.org/rw27a
The Warden’s Jealousy
Tags: violent, action, death, with Fauna, fluff, yandere Kronii, handholding

[Anonymous No.]

>>16348386
>>16348402
The switch between second and first person is a character trait.
Anon always does this when he realizes he has fucked up.
Any other problems?

[Anonymous No.]

>>16343132
Eye penetration with Aiba.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16348544
>The switch between second and first person is a character trait.
Unironically I'd probably have noticed if this was a larger fic but I do have to say the initial introduction of that concept is kind of awkward to read. Once it's gotten introduced at least it's easier to read, and it is a pretty interesting narrative quirk for a character that is indecisive about their choices.
>Any other problems?
I think you should remember to use dialogue tags, there are some bits that would have benefitted from having the initial speaker marked. People don't even tend to parse them save for their use at pointing to who is speaking, so it's a much better practice that just having your dialogue marked with a "-" that doesn't indicate who's speaking.
Honestly don't even have much complaints in regards to "Pekora's" characterization since it is clear early on that the 'roommate' does act different from the chuuba, even if there is still some similarities to the 'ideal'.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16348544
Is that... like a weird way of breaking the fourth wall? Purposely referring to yourself in second person then sometimes first? Also it doesn't seem to happen when he realizes he fucked up, it was happening at the start when he was talking about suppressing his power levels.
>Any other problems?
Yeah, I outlined some more problems in the rest of my post.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16348403
I would have given Anon some dialogue, because it didn't feel all that sad to see Fauna dying or scary to see Kronii closing in on you when I guess the Anon doesn't feel like a proper character in the story. I'm not sure which yandere angle you were going for with Kronii but she didn't seem all that in love with you, and just felt like a serial killer so you definitely could have shown or focused on that a little more. Writing itself wasn't bad and the vocabulary wasn't repetitive at all which was good and something I struggle with, although there were a few adjectives that I feel could have been replaced with descriptions to 'show not tell' like "blushing cutely and strongly" or "you are filled with shock and disbelief".

[Anonymous No.]

>>16348403
funny how kronii got into problem only for killing a fellow council member but killing (you) is apparently not as serious

[Anonymous No.]

>>16350310
That’s fair feedback, when I originally wrote it I was envisioning a fluff fic with Fauna in the woods, only later did I make the violent twist. I’m not very good at writing anon’s dialogue; for chuubas (namely Fauna, IRyS and Kronii who I watch the most) I can watch streams to get their quips and mannerisms. But for anon everyone has their own style of speaking and I often find it really hard to know what I would say if I could actually talk to a chuuba, especially if she was chuuni and really had incredible powers. Maybe it’s just because no gf but I find it hard to know how to do back-and-forth dialogue with a chuuba, so I stick with simple/minimal words from anon.
As for the yandere angle, I was kind of relying on people having read some of my other fics (hence, timelines) where anon cheats on Kronii for futanari Fauna, which was sort of alluded to loosely, perhaps I should have detailed that more. Again being a permavirgin I’m not the best at writing love, especially love from a yandere. I was implying Kronii had gone insane from seeing so many alt timelines of anon getting stolen, because although I am a kronie I’ve written quite a lot of stories with that premise (and desu, I hover between kronie and sapling although rarely post in /uuu/)
Regarding the adjectives that’s also fair. I proof read and replaced synonyms where I could but it felt excessive to replace every word even as a native speaker, sometimes basic words are easier to stick with.
>>16350539
Remember Fauna is a goddess like her and an equal whereas (you) are a petty mortal she can discard and throw aside at will.
Anyway thanks for the feedback anon. Funny how you said it didn’t make you sad because for me it actually did but I’m very attached to both the chuubas involved so I blame that

[Anonymous No.]

>>16349101
>dialogue tags
Like teather scripts? I just thought everyone was able to differentiate who was talking because I always see books just not directly indicating who is saying it.
>roommate
Really doesn't help that I don't watch her very much.
If there's any nousagi who has any "seeping through the mask" moments from Pekora, feel free to share if it doesn't break the roomare rule.
This ego stroking is making me want to continue it!
>>16349277
Not really fourth wall, anon is just a weirdo. You have to be to stalk your oishi that deep.
>suppressing power levels
Honestly this trait of Anon was decided a bit down the line, so I probably didn't notice that slip. Thanks for telling me.
>other problems
I didn't reffer to them last post because I completely understood them.
Anyway, back to the writing board.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16343116
Here is some smut about futa Mori beating up Bae and then using her throat as an onahole. The ryona in this is relatively tame.

https://rentry.org/4zqiw

Tags: Futanari, Ryona, Sweat, Deepthroat

[Anonymous No.]

>>16353142
>Like teather scripts? I just thought everyone was able to differentiate who was talking because I always see books just not directly indicating who is saying it.
The fuck? Please tell me your primary experience in reading comes from like a non-english language. Because the use of "said" is pretty much universal in pretty much all modern stories written in English that aren't specifically trying to break the rules.

[Anonymous No.]

Anyone got the unedited version of Post-Lamy Morning Procedure? Parts 2 through 5 got censored because textbin being useless

[Anonymous No.]

>>16354221
South American.
The books I've read usually use the "said" thing the first time for each character and then when the conversation flows they are not used anymore.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16343132
Gura and You fifth and sixth wheeling while the rest of HoloMyth go on a group date! Pretending to date each other as a joke on the rest of the girls. One of you accidentally catches feelings!

[Anonymous No.]

What's in the works, boys?

The "Fubuki rejection, stalker Matsuri impregnation" fic will be done this thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16343132
Sleepy bedtalk with Watame after a long late night stream

[Anonymous No.]

>>16359526
Trying to look at my old /become/ notes

[Anonymous No.]

>>16359526
In terms of actual writing, nothing. All creative pursuits are on hold until I can return home and get some goddamn privacy.
Lots of brainstorming though. Got an idea for an action/intrigue/horror story focused on the OKFAMS girls that I might run with once I'm done with my current project.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16359526
Aqua anal, rejecting Fubuki's romantic advances because she kept calling you 'friend', and a rrat Ayame fic in the pipeline

[Anonymous No.]

>>16354552
Isn't that how all books are written?

[Anonymous No.]

>>16361118
based

[Anonymous No.]

>>16361118
>Aqua anal
Fantastic.

>>16361215
This body was literally built for violently tender breeding.

>>16359526
Hoping I can sit down and pick Fox Family Christmas again tonight after work. Have a day off tomorrow too, so hoping to relax and get more work done on that.
More ideas came to mind for Omarun part 2 since I took a break, and that's a good thing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16361824
>more ideas for clunny just as Polka reaches Haghood
the universe is trying to say something I think

[Anonymous No.]

>>16361982
Goddamn it, at the rate I'm going I guess I'll have to add a handful more hags to the Hag Orgy part 2 won't I?

Lui, Polka now and who else?

(I won't, but anyway...)

[Anonymous No.]

>>16343132
(You) being the "servant" of the school's main, most notorious delinquent - Kurokami. Buying her lunches, doing her homework, doing as she tells you, etc.
Despite your fear of her however, she never treats you too harshly - she always comes to pick you up from your home in the mornings before school, keeps you safe from bullies and the like and even sends you off after school ends.
For some odd reason however, she's taken it upon herself to guard you from all the girls in the school, too. Whether they be benevolent or not is none of her concern. After all, you belong to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16359526
Currently? Only ShadowLive Chapter 6, which is going to take a while but I'm making some good progress. As in other works, I have some more stuff I will work on in the near future when I feel like it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16362273
I’d read it

[Anonymous No.]

>>16359526
Becoming a househusband for Suisei. I'm like 70% done with the first chapter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16364319
Didn't you post the prologue of that ages ago? I'm excited regardless

[Anonymous No.]

>>16364399
Yeah that was me. I'm glad you're interested.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16359526
Suisei coaching Koyori in marika by using the drive to her house as the first bit of practice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16354552
Generally the rule of thumb I've seen used and practiced is to always mark who the speaker is within the paragraph, via the use of said, the use of a said synonym (When appropriate of course), or the speaker doing an action while still speaking.
Besides as said previously 'said' is pretty much invisible and helps guide the reader to whoever is speaker, keeps confusion at a minimum.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16353685
This is really hot anon, good job

[Anonymous No.]

I wonder. Is there a way to dump LiveTL/autogenerated CCs into a text file, run a NN over it and establish a sort of dictionary of common phrases and words a given liver uses?
Maybe even with rudimentary analysis of sentence length and other stuff?
It SHOULD be possible to use technology to step up the game and create common reference material so not every writer has to start from zero when they try to capture speaking patterns.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16376131
Not sure what an NN is but I think writers should just watch streams if they want to write speech patterns. Also sounds too complicated of a task just for the sake of fanfiction.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16377176
NN is neural network.

[Anonymous No.]

A while ago an anon posted a prompt that went something like (You) are a streamer under Cover Corp. who has a lot of rrats like Ayame because you only stream once a month. However, being a streamer is actually a cover job and your real purpose within the company is assassinating stalkers and obsessed gachis that pose threats to Hololive's talents.
I recently remembered this prompt and decided to pick it up, so here's the first chapter of a small series I might do on the side:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSjwX8jrIUCLrSB-wlmZP4l18IUSMC2-FBwqc3aMQtIDieb7u4PIsLOP_RUmjGNJOP8wXFz6rZUvogz/pub
Tags: Shinove, Yagoo, Watame, Polka, SFW

There's not a whole lot of chuuba interaction as I had to set up a lot of pieces, but Watame is going to be the main focus from here on out. Let me know what you guys think, and as always I hope you enjoy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16378813
How do I always forget the fucking anchor?
>>16343116

[Anonymous No.]

>>16353685
based anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>16378813
Hey, that's my prompt! It's a really intriguing start so far, and I like the little thread at the end, I thought that was neat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16376131
Anon, there's a time when being autistic about analyzing data would help in being accurate to your oshi... but this ain't it, Live Translating is a game of telephone that only mostly gets it right.
At some point you have to actually be a damn writer and transcribe how (you) think she speaks, especially in regards to situations that she's never be in while under the guize of a streamer and instead she has to act like a person. (well character, but you know what I mean.)

[Anonymous No.]

Question:

Do you beat noel or does Noel beat you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>16380834
I beat that whore like a beat my meat on a Saturday afternoon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16378813
First off, this is a really good concept and I'd love to see more. I'll reserve further judgment for later chapters since this is still the introduction to the concept.
That little thread at the bottom was pretty neat as well; reminds me off the fake rratposting the thread did when Saviourfag was first made.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16378813
That was really well written anon, and I definitely like the thread at the end. Looking forward to sequel(s)

[Anonymous No.]

>>16380834
A hearty effort, but Noel wins.

[Anonymous No.]

are there any tricks out there to help focus on writing? i haven't been able to get started on that fauna fluff story because of that...

[Anonymous No.]

>>16387634
Amphetamines

[Anonymous No.]

How much do fight scenes matter? I get bored reading fight scenes super easily and writing them is the same. Do I have to follow a fight through its motions and choreography or whatever until the end, or can I use that time to write more contemplative thoughts of the characters until it's over.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16388517
Do both. You can describe an action and an internal thought process at the same time

[Anonymous No.]

>>16387634
A trick I've found is just keeping the tab open so you can easily start working on it when you feel like it. It minimizes the barrier to starting up writing again.
Another trick I've learned is to at least write something everyday to get into the habit of it, even if it's just a few sentences.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16388900
I don't really want to write action though, that's what I'm saying. Do you people enjoy reading a whole chapter of fighting between characters? Because I'll just skip the description of the fights, maybe read the dialouge or monologue to get to the end. But if people like reading detailed fight scenes, then I won't skip out on them

[Anonymous No.]

>>16388517
Well, it all depends on what you're trying to convey with the action scene. Is it a simple vehicle to move the plot ahead? Focus on the "flow" of the battle, the back and forth of the choreography, like it's a turn based RPG. Do you want it to be an expression of a character, or showcase an aspect of the character not yet seen? Focus on the monologue/dialogue and emotions of the character(s), write out their thoughts as they land and receive blows. Personally, I love writing action scenes because unlike movies/shows where you see the action on the surface, writing them allows you to convey more emotions, more character, more story into it, thus having more impact on the reader. I always refer back to wh40k books and shonen manga/anime for inspiration on how to write such scenes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16388517
From my limited experience writing fight scenes, people do tend to prefer the emotion to the choreography. Though, a well-crafted pure fight scene is enjoyable in it's own right.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16378813
This was really well written. It's a great start to a series. Looking forward to seeing more of it!

[Anonymous No.]

>>16378813
Weird comparison but the setting for the chuuba's themselves remind of that Subaru exhibitionist doujin.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16387634
I find listening to/watching the chuuba you’re planning to write about is a good idea. That and if you’re doing a walk in the woods, it may sound odd, but why not go for one yourself? It doesn’t hurt to write down what you see in real life and relate that back to what you’d see with Fauna. In my fluff-turned violent fic I visualed local woods when writing because I’m in a part of bongistan with lots of trees and I geninuely love nature. But I also listened to some of Fauna’s rambles and ASMR to get an idea of how she speaks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16389213
If you don’t want to write it then don’t write it. Unless the story is a massive tournament arc where fights are the only thing going for it I’d say skip out on it

[Anonymous No.]

>>16389213
>>16394457
Alternatively go for a more 'realistic' style by having the fights be done quick so you don't have to do mid fight dialogue.
I.e. instead of having a drawn out 'sword fight', it's over in a few moves.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16389213
>A whole chapter
No, that becomes tedious. Small skirmishes between actual plot is a lot more tolerable, I think. You don't need to do detailed scenes if you aren't comfortable with it, but don't skip out on details. Seeing little things that leads to a decisive strike can be really fucking cool. Guard is open, footing is off, overextending, etc.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16380834
Neither, you have a healthy relationship that doesn't involve physical abuse.
Instead it mostly consists of her whispering abusive words to you

[Anonymous No.]

>>16395877
In a consensual, sexy way or

[Anonymous No.]

>>16398197
In an abusive way obviously.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

No death for you

[Anonymous No.]

>>16401067
How about a fic with Mori denying (you) the release of death because she’s too lazy and/or drunk to do the underworld paperwork? She just keeps you in limbo and fucks about with you, but no one else can see or interact with you at all (except maybe Rushia since she’s a necromancer)
Possible sequel where Rushia ends your torture and makes you a zombie like Ollie, despite Mori’s objections.

[Anonymous No.]

>>16401344
Did you mean to reply to >>16343132 ?

[Anonymous No.]

>>16401700
I meant to reply to both because it was the phrase “no death for you” that gave me the idea, oops
>>16343132
>>16401344